Today I had a guest speaker from SIECUS, my homeboy Max, visit my class and students. He shared with us the work he does at SIECUS and showed this film to my class:
Lessons of Hate in the Bible Belt from Stuart Productions on Vimeo.
Have you heard of this issue? Debra Taylor has not been reinstated. One of the things you may notice from watching the video is that the students in the class are from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds. Max shared with us that when he spoke with Debra Taylor, she shared that a majority of the youth at the school are Latino, Native, and Black with a sprinkle of White students. Some of the fears among the students in the class who heard the superintendent say he "hated queers" were Latino and some are not documented and do not feel comfortable talking out against someone of his authority and power. I definitely understand that! I can't recall being a very vocal young person to such people in power at my school either.
If our youth have teachers who want to teach respect for all people, but school authorities are pulling the cord on such efforts, if organizations like GLSEN exist, but schools enforce web monitors that filter out sites that have certain words such as "gay," "lesbian," and "bisexual" so students cannot access these spaces, I can't help but wonder if our schools are perpetuating the death of our youth. Many have argued that schools are breeding grounds for incarceration, they can also be breeding grounds for murder, and with abstinence-only programming, as former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, MD states, a breeding ground for child abuse.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
A few of my favorite commercials & sex scenes
Here are my favorite commercials. It does not matter how many times I watch them I get a huge chuckle! Not only are they witty and clever, but the first one does some word play on one of my favorite words! The second one makes me laugh so much because it's about confidence, courtship, and a popular man of Color.
Now this sex scene is from the film How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer, a film I had certain expectations for and they were so not met. However, I did like these two scenes of Latinas choosing to have sex, masturbate, and the experiences they share across three generations of women. These were by far the best parts of the film.
Now this sex scene is from the film How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer, a film I had certain expectations for and they were so not met. However, I did like these two scenes of Latinas choosing to have sex, masturbate, and the experiences they share across three generations of women. These were by far the best parts of the film.
Q & A: Bi, why do you hate the film Juno?
When the film Juno came out, people assumed that as a sexologist who works with youth and youth of color, that I would love the film. I didn’t. I still don’t. There were several issues that came up for me while watching the film, not only as a sexologist, but also as someone committed to social justice which includes access to quality care for ALL, media justice, and fair and accurate representations of communities of Color.
Here are my issues with the film:
1. no discussion or examination of class privilege
2. only 4 characters of Color (2 with speaking roles)
3. cultural appropriation (not sure that’s the best term, but I’ll use it for now)
Now, the film is about a young White girl who gets pregnant while still in high school She chooses to maintain her pregnancy and have the child adopted. Ok, fine. Now, I got into a few discussions with folks about what the class status was of Juno and her family. It is clear the adoptive parent(s) she chooses have a different class status than her own. What is not clear is what Juno’s class status is. I argue she is not from a working class family (and I say that knowing the importance of including more people as working class is important to have us acknowledged and fuck with how class is constructed in the capitalist society we live in). I think Juno is from a middle-class family and here’s why (keep in mind I’m viewing this from my particular lens as a working-class person):
1. Her step mother owns her own business (we know that White privilege can play a lot in how folks get loans to open businesses and such)
2. Her father is a skilled laborer, I think a plumber (and this is where a lot of the fuzzy convos about class come up)
3. She has a car she drives to school (it’s a minivan as I recall)
4. Look at all that she has in her bedroom. There are televisions in just about every room she is shown as being in her home.
5. She has money to purchase several home pregnancy tests without having a job (if you don’t know they can each cost up to $10)
6. She has access to wealthy people in her community
7. She's filled with self-entitlement (Yes, I know some working-class and working-poor can have the same sense of entitlement, but the script to me came off as not a witty and clever young teenage girl, but as a self-righteous entitled one!)
When it comes to characters of Color there was a VERY weak attempt to sprinkle us in this film. Look, if this is a film filled with White people and none of us (I mean it already is!), it’s what I expected anyway. But when I saw how they tried to include us in the film, I was instantly turned off and quite disgusted. As a reminder, here are the 4 characters of Color:
1. Valerie Tian plays Su-Chin Qah, a high school student with a very stereotypical accent. We first see her standing in front of the abortion clinic Juno goes to trying to get information and terminate her pregnancy. Tian’s character is shouting in broken English how abortion is murder, she will go to hell, and other religious right anti-choice rhetoric.
2. Once Juno arrives in the clinic, she looks around and sees a young Black woman who is very visibly pregnant (possibly in her second trimester) and has one child at her side who is clearly under 5 years old. She is filling out a form. We are lead to believe that the young mother wants to terminate her current 2nd trimester pregnancy. I read this as 1. Racist (the actress is not even mentioned in the list of characters, we are given the impression she is irresponsible, can’t find childcare for her current child, and just about any other stereotype we know all too well is attached to Black women and our sexuality), 2. Anti-choice (especially against women who choose second trimester procedures). All that and the young women didn’t even speak! She was only on the screen for less than 60 seconds and this is the impression we are left with! When I mention her, some viewers can’t even remember her. How ironic, when I’m the only one of my crew of mostly White sexuality educators who remembers her. PS you can’t take kids to an abortion clinic on the day they are performing terminations (perhaps if it is a medical clinic too providing other care) but usually abortion clinics ask you not to bring children with you.
3. Kaaren de Zilva plays the Ultrasound Technician. She has no speaking part, but plays a role in allowing Juno, her stepmother, friend and adoptive mother to have a first image of the child. A woman of Color played a huge role in the life of this young woman and her chosen adoptive parent(s) for her child and she barely speaks!
4. Aman Johal plays Vijay, the friend to Paulie (aka Juno’s male partner and biological father to their child) and on the track team with him. Vijay has the most speaking lines in the film, unfortunately, the are less than exception. His lines consist of talking about how he wants to grow facial hair to demonstrate his virility, and announce he’s going to “stop wearing underpants” to “raise his sperm count.” Is he not happy that he has not impregnated a young woman like Paulie has, even if it was unplanned? Are we left to think that Vijay wants to be a young father? Is sexually active? Is not using condoms with his partner(s)? Fuck!
I don’t know about ya’ll but I could have done without these 4 characters even being included. They distracted me and definitely gave me a different understanding and view of the film. I didn't read the film initially, or think it would be, anti-choice, but some of these representations lead me to believe that this film did want a level of anti-choice discourse/imagery, unfortunately, all of them where people of Color! What a stereotype!
Finally, the cultural appropriation, again, I don’t know if this is the appropriate term. Perhaps I should say “the performance of Blackness/otherness.” That seems to be a bit more on point for what I had trouble consuming as a viewer. It all began at the market where Juno takes her pregnancy test. The White sales clerk says to Juno something to the effect of “home skillet.” Anyway, Juno’s discussion with her girlfriend about her pregnancy leads into a discussion using a Snoop Dogg use of terminology such as “fo’ shizzle.” I can’t explain why it made me uncomfortable to watch this performance or why it rubbed me the wrong way, but it did. There was an attempt to use language in a way that was fully accessible when we know as a fact that language is not accessible to everyone. Maybe it’s too painful for me to get into and my subconscious is trying to protect me from a breakdown? Maybe I just don’t have the energy. Maybe I just don’t want to fight this battle anymore.
And that is why I'm not a fan of the film Juno.
Here are my issues with the film:
1. no discussion or examination of class privilege
2. only 4 characters of Color (2 with speaking roles)
3. cultural appropriation (not sure that’s the best term, but I’ll use it for now)
Now, the film is about a young White girl who gets pregnant while still in high school She chooses to maintain her pregnancy and have the child adopted. Ok, fine. Now, I got into a few discussions with folks about what the class status was of Juno and her family. It is clear the adoptive parent(s) she chooses have a different class status than her own. What is not clear is what Juno’s class status is. I argue she is not from a working class family (and I say that knowing the importance of including more people as working class is important to have us acknowledged and fuck with how class is constructed in the capitalist society we live in). I think Juno is from a middle-class family and here’s why (keep in mind I’m viewing this from my particular lens as a working-class person):
1. Her step mother owns her own business (we know that White privilege can play a lot in how folks get loans to open businesses and such)
2. Her father is a skilled laborer, I think a plumber (and this is where a lot of the fuzzy convos about class come up)
3. She has a car she drives to school (it’s a minivan as I recall)
4. Look at all that she has in her bedroom. There are televisions in just about every room she is shown as being in her home.
5. She has money to purchase several home pregnancy tests without having a job (if you don’t know they can each cost up to $10)
6. She has access to wealthy people in her community
7. She's filled with self-entitlement (Yes, I know some working-class and working-poor can have the same sense of entitlement, but the script to me came off as not a witty and clever young teenage girl, but as a self-righteous entitled one!)
When it comes to characters of Color there was a VERY weak attempt to sprinkle us in this film. Look, if this is a film filled with White people and none of us (I mean it already is!), it’s what I expected anyway. But when I saw how they tried to include us in the film, I was instantly turned off and quite disgusted. As a reminder, here are the 4 characters of Color:
1. Valerie Tian plays Su-Chin Qah, a high school student with a very stereotypical accent. We first see her standing in front of the abortion clinic Juno goes to trying to get information and terminate her pregnancy. Tian’s character is shouting in broken English how abortion is murder, she will go to hell, and other religious right anti-choice rhetoric.
2. Once Juno arrives in the clinic, she looks around and sees a young Black woman who is very visibly pregnant (possibly in her second trimester) and has one child at her side who is clearly under 5 years old. She is filling out a form. We are lead to believe that the young mother wants to terminate her current 2nd trimester pregnancy. I read this as 1. Racist (the actress is not even mentioned in the list of characters, we are given the impression she is irresponsible, can’t find childcare for her current child, and just about any other stereotype we know all too well is attached to Black women and our sexuality), 2. Anti-choice (especially against women who choose second trimester procedures). All that and the young women didn’t even speak! She was only on the screen for less than 60 seconds and this is the impression we are left with! When I mention her, some viewers can’t even remember her. How ironic, when I’m the only one of my crew of mostly White sexuality educators who remembers her. PS you can’t take kids to an abortion clinic on the day they are performing terminations (perhaps if it is a medical clinic too providing other care) but usually abortion clinics ask you not to bring children with you.
3. Kaaren de Zilva plays the Ultrasound Technician. She has no speaking part, but plays a role in allowing Juno, her stepmother, friend and adoptive mother to have a first image of the child. A woman of Color played a huge role in the life of this young woman and her chosen adoptive parent(s) for her child and she barely speaks!
4. Aman Johal plays Vijay, the friend to Paulie (aka Juno’s male partner and biological father to their child) and on the track team with him. Vijay has the most speaking lines in the film, unfortunately, the are less than exception. His lines consist of talking about how he wants to grow facial hair to demonstrate his virility, and announce he’s going to “stop wearing underpants” to “raise his sperm count.” Is he not happy that he has not impregnated a young woman like Paulie has, even if it was unplanned? Are we left to think that Vijay wants to be a young father? Is sexually active? Is not using condoms with his partner(s)? Fuck!
I don’t know about ya’ll but I could have done without these 4 characters even being included. They distracted me and definitely gave me a different understanding and view of the film. I didn't read the film initially, or think it would be, anti-choice, but some of these representations lead me to believe that this film did want a level of anti-choice discourse/imagery, unfortunately, all of them where people of Color! What a stereotype!
Finally, the cultural appropriation, again, I don’t know if this is the appropriate term. Perhaps I should say “the performance of Blackness/otherness.” That seems to be a bit more on point for what I had trouble consuming as a viewer. It all began at the market where Juno takes her pregnancy test. The White sales clerk says to Juno something to the effect of “home skillet.” Anyway, Juno’s discussion with her girlfriend about her pregnancy leads into a discussion using a Snoop Dogg use of terminology such as “fo’ shizzle.” I can’t explain why it made me uncomfortable to watch this performance or why it rubbed me the wrong way, but it did. There was an attempt to use language in a way that was fully accessible when we know as a fact that language is not accessible to everyone. Maybe it’s too painful for me to get into and my subconscious is trying to protect me from a breakdown? Maybe I just don’t have the energy. Maybe I just don’t want to fight this battle anymore.
And that is why I'm not a fan of the film Juno.
Opera is sexy!
I've wanted to go to an Opera for about 3 years now. I didn't grow up hearing the genre, and can't remember when I as first exposed to it either. I do remember reading Madame Butterfly in high school and being fascinated by the relationship, sexual desire, and gender identity, expression, and expectations that were presented in the story. I also noticed the problematic aspects of the story, and how a US reading of a story does influence young people.
I shared this on twitter, that I wanted to see an Opera, and Erika Lopez sent me tons of suggestions. One of the first suggestions she made to me was Ana María Martínez, a Puerto Rican Opera singer. She's a soprano. You can't listen to her and tell me there isn't some kind of sex appeal! If you've never heard of her or have given Opera a try, just listen for four minutes and tell me what you think!
I shared this on twitter, that I wanted to see an Opera, and Erika Lopez sent me tons of suggestions. One of the first suggestions she made to me was Ana María Martínez, a Puerto Rican Opera singer. She's a soprano. You can't listen to her and tell me there isn't some kind of sex appeal! If you've never heard of her or have given Opera a try, just listen for four minutes and tell me what you think!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sunday Night Common Sense
This quote sticks with me for so many reasons. I've written about it before in the past, and even thought of using it to open up my dissertation on how Latino men from the Spanish-speaking Caribbean learn about intimate sexual relationships.
From Puerto Rican Bronx-born author Abraham Rodriguez, whose book Spidertown won the 1995 American Book Award. My absolutely favorite quote from this book:
page 308
From Puerto Rican Bronx-born author Abraham Rodriguez, whose book Spidertown won the 1995 American Book Award. My absolutely favorite quote from this book:
The woman is supposed to know where she's at, where she belongs. It was all in his blood. To be the man. The woman just did what the man said. That was respect. Tradition. Yet Miguel was throwing it all away, the ghosts of a hundred million Latin machistas all hanging their heads and cursing him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered in the dark forest of her hair. "I didn't meant' order you around."
"Me neither," she said. They kissed and that was all that mattered in the world.
page 308
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Gente, Our Youth Are Dying!
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I've been devastated by the number of our youth of Color who have been murdered and who have committed suicide in the past month. You haven't heard of 18 year-old Angie Zapata, 11 year-old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, or 11 year-old Jaheem Herrera? The lack of media attention to our three youth infuriates me on numerous levels. I've heard too many stores on murdered race horses and a suicide by a big CEO, but nothing about our youth.
Images of Angie Zapata, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, and Jaheem Herrera have stayed with me for the past several weeks (Jaheem recently committed suicide). All three young people were harassed in school and heard anti-gay and anti-trans comments with limited to no teacher intervention/support. Carl and Jaheem, both 11 years-old, did not identify as gay or any other sexual orientation outside of heterosexual, yet the harassment they endured at school lead them both to hang themselves. They did not know one another, they lived in separate states, yet they were targeted and used the same mode of suicide. Angie was brutally murdered last July 2008 by a potential partner who beat her until she was dead because he questioned her biological sex, gender identity, and expression. He has been convicted of murder on all counts.
Transphobia and homophobia killed our youth. It is killing our youth. So why are we not talking about it? Why are we still not questioning what is going on? Maegan la Mamita Mala Oritz from VivirLatino.com asks why Latino media has done less than exceptional on addressing the murder of Angie Zapata. Seriously, why is the murder of a member of our community not enough to report on?
Activists like myself, and others are asking for ways to cope, heal, create, and mobilize around these deaths. I'm not a parent, and I don't plan to be, but that does not mean I think children should be abused, neglected, ignored, or expected anything less than reaching their full potential. I've worked with youth for 15 years and I'm committed to a positive youth development philosophy. As a result I can offer some suggestions for families and activists.
1. Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has chapters all over the United States. They have been following the hangings of Jaheem and Carl. The Colorado chapter, the state where Angie Zapata was murdered, has a great guide with suggestions for how to build a Gay-Straight Alliance, but also activities to promote discussion that you can do with youth in your home or classroom or community. Most of their literature is FREE.
2. Safe School Coalition offers a roundup of all the resources, posters, stickers, language available for free or for a small fee (less than $10) depending on what you are looking for when you click on the source. One of my personal favorites is this poster by the Wildflower Resource Network:
3. Talking With Kids/Habla Con Sus Hijos provides resources for parents, families, mentors, caregivers, foster parents, and other adults in a young person's life on topics from HIV/AIDS to violence to drug and alcohol use and abuse. Tienen informacion en español.
4. Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbian And Gays (PFLAG) provides support services as well as advocacy for people who care for or have a LGBTQ person in their life. This is such an important organization because if you do not know what to do when someone in your life comes "out" to you as LGBTQ, you are not alone. It may have been a process for the LGBTQ person in your life to get to a point where they wanted to "come out" and it may be a process for those of you who also are trying to learn and cope in ways that does not isolate the LGBTQ person in your life. They have chapters all over the US.
5. Know that you are not alone. If you are an activist, educator, young person, whoever you are, there are many of us mourning the deaths and trying to find ways to continue to do the work we do. If you cannot find a tangible space in your community, we are here. There are spaces online and activists online writing about these topics. Find us, reach out, write, cry, talk, dance, meditate, create, do whatever you need to do, but know you are not alone!
Paz, Luz y Amor
Images of Angie Zapata, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, and Jaheem Herrera have stayed with me for the past several weeks (Jaheem recently committed suicide). All three young people were harassed in school and heard anti-gay and anti-trans comments with limited to no teacher intervention/support. Carl and Jaheem, both 11 years-old, did not identify as gay or any other sexual orientation outside of heterosexual, yet the harassment they endured at school lead them both to hang themselves. They did not know one another, they lived in separate states, yet they were targeted and used the same mode of suicide. Angie was brutally murdered last July 2008 by a potential partner who beat her until she was dead because he questioned her biological sex, gender identity, and expression. He has been convicted of murder on all counts.
Transphobia and homophobia killed our youth. It is killing our youth. So why are we not talking about it? Why are we still not questioning what is going on? Maegan la Mamita Mala Oritz from VivirLatino.com asks why Latino media has done less than exceptional on addressing the murder of Angie Zapata. Seriously, why is the murder of a member of our community not enough to report on?
Activists like myself, and others are asking for ways to cope, heal, create, and mobilize around these deaths. I'm not a parent, and I don't plan to be, but that does not mean I think children should be abused, neglected, ignored, or expected anything less than reaching their full potential. I've worked with youth for 15 years and I'm committed to a positive youth development philosophy. As a result I can offer some suggestions for families and activists.
1. Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network (GLSEN) has chapters all over the United States. They have been following the hangings of Jaheem and Carl. The Colorado chapter, the state where Angie Zapata was murdered, has a great guide with suggestions for how to build a Gay-Straight Alliance, but also activities to promote discussion that you can do with youth in your home or classroom or community. Most of their literature is FREE.
2. Safe School Coalition offers a roundup of all the resources, posters, stickers, language available for free or for a small fee (less than $10) depending on what you are looking for when you click on the source. One of my personal favorites is this poster by the Wildflower Resource Network:
3. Talking With Kids/Habla Con Sus Hijos provides resources for parents, families, mentors, caregivers, foster parents, and other adults in a young person's life on topics from HIV/AIDS to violence to drug and alcohol use and abuse. Tienen informacion en español.
4. Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbian And Gays (PFLAG) provides support services as well as advocacy for people who care for or have a LGBTQ person in their life. This is such an important organization because if you do not know what to do when someone in your life comes "out" to you as LGBTQ, you are not alone. It may have been a process for the LGBTQ person in your life to get to a point where they wanted to "come out" and it may be a process for those of you who also are trying to learn and cope in ways that does not isolate the LGBTQ person in your life. They have chapters all over the US.
5. Know that you are not alone. If you are an activist, educator, young person, whoever you are, there are many of us mourning the deaths and trying to find ways to continue to do the work we do. If you cannot find a tangible space in your community, we are here. There are spaces online and activists online writing about these topics. Find us, reach out, write, cry, talk, dance, meditate, create, do whatever you need to do, but know you are not alone!
Paz, Luz y Amor
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Recycle Your Sex Toys on Earth Day & Everyday
Today is Earth Day. It’s raining in NYC, which seems fitting. I’ve read lots, and lots and lots of posts about green sex toys that are currently available. Many of these toys are created by recycled material, have vegan ingredients, or are made of soy products. But, what about if your toy breaks, if you get a new one after ending a relationship, or if you just want to replace one that you are kind of tired of, what do you do with them? There are now options available for sex toy recycling! Below are some options:
1. Sex Toy Recycling.com provides this service. Not only do they recycle the toy for free, you also get a $5 voucher towards another sex toy at a store or at their upcoming online store for each toy you mail. I sent an email to see if they accept toys from outside the continental US, including US territories, as well as if the vouchers or upcoming online store will services those outside the US and haven’t gotten a response yet. I’m sure they will let me know when they can and I’ll update their response here. Read carefully their “How It Works” page, they ask you to wash your toy and mail it in a specific type of mailer. This means you will have to pay for shipping.
2. Recycle Your Sex Toy.com is a program by sex toy seller Dreamscapes. They offer a $10 gift card to their store and those of their affiliates (Vibrator Shopping.com) for every package you mail them. They will not think you are slick if you send 5 packages with 5 different toys to recycle. It kind of defeats the purpose, so instead, make sure you pay one amount and ship as many toys as you can at one time.
3. LoveHoney’s Rabbit Amnesty program is in the UK, where the law is to recycle all electronics, and vibrators fall under that law. To make this service more discrete, Love Honey launched their Rabbit Amnesty program in 2007. They want folks to bring their sex toy to the store for recycling, in exchange they will donate £1 to the World Land Trust, and they also offer 50% off a new rabbit vibrator. They have made an ad which is below and read more about what is actually done when they recycle your toy.
1. Sex Toy Recycling.com provides this service. Not only do they recycle the toy for free, you also get a $5 voucher towards another sex toy at a store or at their upcoming online store for each toy you mail. I sent an email to see if they accept toys from outside the continental US, including US territories, as well as if the vouchers or upcoming online store will services those outside the US and haven’t gotten a response yet. I’m sure they will let me know when they can and I’ll update their response here. Read carefully their “How It Works” page, they ask you to wash your toy and mail it in a specific type of mailer. This means you will have to pay for shipping.
2. Recycle Your Sex Toy.com is a program by sex toy seller Dreamscapes. They offer a $10 gift card to their store and those of their affiliates (Vibrator Shopping.com) for every package you mail them. They will not think you are slick if you send 5 packages with 5 different toys to recycle. It kind of defeats the purpose, so instead, make sure you pay one amount and ship as many toys as you can at one time.
3. LoveHoney’s Rabbit Amnesty program is in the UK, where the law is to recycle all electronics, and vibrators fall under that law. To make this service more discrete, Love Honey launched their Rabbit Amnesty program in 2007. They want folks to bring their sex toy to the store for recycling, in exchange they will donate £1 to the World Land Trust, and they also offer 50% off a new rabbit vibrator. They have made an ad which is below and read more about what is actually done when they recycle your toy.
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