Is the Brain the Most Sexual Part of Our Bodies?

cross posted from RH Reality Check Being trained to become a sex educator and sexologist in the early 1990s was an experience that I value each day. There are some things I remember very clearly, such as the color-free faculty and mentors available to me at the time, the topics that were not completely discussed or erased, the amazing connections I made, and the communities I’ve built over the past 15+ years. What I did gain was the understanding that I will continually be learning, evolving, and transforming to remain present in the field. Part of this learning and evolving is looking back to and re-examining the perspectives, ideas, research, and topics that I was trained to value. One of these ideas and phrases has come up for me again. I saw this image posted online from Ebony magazine. My immediate reaction was “the most sexual part of the body is the brain” at least that’s what we all agreed on when we were being trained. I remember in my second year of my undergraduate career taking an upper level women’s health course and meeting with the teaching assistant to discuss my grade on the multiple choice midterm exam. There was a group of us to meet for the same thing and we did so communally. We went over each question we got wrong and my question was “what is the most sexual part of a female’s body?” The options were: brain, clitoris, vagina, anus. I had selected the clitoris. It was marked as wrong. I asked why this was incorrect and was told, in a very "matter-of-fact" fashion, “It’s the brain. If your head isn’t into it nothing else will be.” And that was that. I was the only person in the group to get that question “wrong.” This phrase was, and still is, a very common argument about sexuality, pleasure, and the body. I wonder though, may this idea and phrase be ableist? Who is excluded from this type of belief? If I were to see this question on an exam today, or ask this question would I agree with this answer and that the clitoris is the wrong answer? As I learn to evolve within the field and become more committed to including a psychology of liberation and work in an anti-colonial framework within the field many of these questions come up for me. My maternal grandparents died of Alzheimer's and I witnessed their memory loss evolve, and now I’m learning to cope with similar experiences in my immediate family. These questions about how the brain functions, how that’s connected to sexual pleasure, sexual memory, and why this phrase “the most sexual part of the body is the brain” is relevant to me at this moment. I know we do not have a lot of information about the majority of the brain. This is one reason I find this phrase ironic. How can one of the most sexual parts of our body be one part that we know very little about? I know that if the brain is not functioning in the ways our society has deemed “correctly” this does not mean one cannot experience pleasure. What may it mean if one is losing a part of their brain functioning and how may this phrase isolate and ignore people living with certain disabilities? If we were to reexamine this phrase, what parts of our bodies would we deem most sexual? Would there ever be a right or wrong answer? I’m asking more questions than I have answers because I think sometimes the questions are more important than the answers. I am also clear that I don’t know what the right answer would be. I’m more interested in having a dialogue about this topic with folks who have heard the phrase, use it, and are interested in examining it further.

Charlie Sheen Inspired This Post!

cross posted from my Media Justice Column

This is not an article about Charlie Sheen. Instead this article uses the conversations and reporting around Sheen to bring to light ableist language that is being used. My hope is to have us all think about how language is alive, and how we can make good decisions to use language that is effective yet does not oppress or isolate others.

I’ve heard all sorts of terminology around what is going on with Charlie Sheen, most overly used being “crazy,” “nut,” “loony,” and “lost/losing his mind.” Folks are also using other terms, more profane, in addition to these. What strikes me is the obvious misuse of certain terms when it comes to mental illness and disability. I have been working on this myself, especially since my mother was recently diagnosed with dementia, and thinking about what that means for my future mental wellness. I am not without misusing these terms either, however, now that these terms impact me and my family and the community I’m a part of, I’ve learned. I’ve made the conscious choice to learn and do things differently and treat language as an important part of the work I do. It’s a struggle, it’s not always easy, but it’s something I’ve committed myself to doing and it’s a process.

Caring for an aging parent really puts disability in context, especially for someone like me who enjoyed almost 25 years of being able-bodied. When I was disabled and could not walk for extended periods of time I was very isolated and had lots of time to think. It was then that I realized that being able-bodied was temporary, that I will always now be someone with a disability and how that will impact my life. How to move through the pain that is very real and impacts my sense of self and gender expression; how to cope with my body changing because of lack of movement, were all things that came at me very quickly because I was never prepared to think about such things. This is because we live in an ableist society.

Our society, and many all over the world, privileges people who are able-bodied. Yes, we have the Americans with Disabilities Act, and yes some forms of limiting access are illegal, yet that does not eliminate the prejudice that can, and often does, follow. So, as Sheen’s actions are televised and shared virtually, so are the insults, name-calling, and isolation. The ableism spreads quickly without critique or mention.

Folks, please be aware of the ableist language you use and how it harms us all. Using terms that oppress others who are living with mental illness is not trendy, funny, or appropriate. I believe that language is alive, it is important, and has power. I was writing to my homegirl Erika Lopez who has written extensively about Sheen and what he’s said and represents at her clog, but we both agree that language can do a lot of good and a lot of damage.

She share with me how some terms, that she had never heard of and are not slang, are difficult for her to understand and use properly. She shared that it challenged her, but not in a way that was affirming or that taught her anything, but in ways that made her feel inadequate. I told her I know exactly how she feels as I often find myself in that space too. I think a lot of language does this because that is the goal of some folks who use such language. I shared with her my experience in a PhD program and having to learn the language of theory, and all the big words “scholars” made up to share their ideas. They made these terms enormous as a way to only speak to the people who are members of their community. It excludes folks and that is the goal. In that exclusion it also has others doubt their own intellect, thus reinforcing an elitist space.

There are some similarities in code-switching, when folks move from one language to another (think moving from English to another language for folks who speak more than one, this includes sign language). When folks code-switch they may often do so because that is the language they are most comfortable speaking, a hybrid of more than one language. It is also a way that folks can keep outsiders out. I wrote a little about this and language in my post about Lady Gaga and her choice in using certain terms in her songs.

This is the same issue I find with the term “colorblind” when folks talk about racism and race neutrality. Affiliating people with a specific disability that impairs their vision with people who perpetuate discrimination based on race is wrong on numerous levels. Not only does it equate a disability (which can be an outcome of numerous situations from biology, age, injury, etc.) with a lack of knowledge, but it also reinforces stereotypes that people with disabilities are not intelligent, thus disposable, thus ignored.

Many of the anti-racist communities and activists use the term “colorblind” on a regular basis, even some folks who we may admire, and it is one of the reasons I have slowly removed myself from such spaces. It is not effective to think that the language we use does not isolate or impact others, especially if we do not understand how identities intersect and make us all complicated. Imagine what a person of Color with a disability or an anti-racist White person with a disability may experience when in their community of practice, their gender, race and ethnicity or culture is prioritized over their disability. None of us should ever have to be forced to choose one identity over the other. Ever.

One of the things that triggered this post for me was seeing this image come across my Tumblr dashboard. I think this image offers some great suggestions and examples of how we have such a vast amount of choices in the words we choose, why not accept this challenge of not using ableist language? The image at the time was posted at the site however at this time Tumblr does not seem to be showing that page. For now you can view it or reblog it here.

Call for Submissions!!! Women of Color & Sexuality

I've partnered with an amazing media maker and radical educator: SuperHussy to help her find, edit, and publish an anthology focusing on women of Color, sex and sexuality! Here's the Call for Submissions:

Alright ya’ll, it’s time to expand the reach of Super Hussy Media. You know there;s the blog, and the film projects in the works, but wait, here it comes…our first call for submissions for our annual publication, The Compendium.

Our first issue, The Talk, focuses on self-identified women of Color and how they learned about S-E-X. Here are the details:

The Talk: Women of Color On Sex is an exploration of how self-identified women across the Diaspora came to learn about sex and what it meant to have a sexual relationship. Did your mom, aunty or tia sit you down? Were your homegirls or hermanas responsible for giving you the blow by blow? Was Cinemax After Dark, Youtube or a telenovela your sex ed instructor?

Super Hussy Media seeks fresh and daring writers who can coax the reader into an intimate understanding of not only how they learned about sex, but how that knowledge impacted their sexual exploration. We want submissions that are funny, sad, enraging, and transformational.

The Talk is ultimately about our testimonies regarding how we were taught or chose to learn about our sexuality. How we are continuing to learn, lessons we wish we could share with other women of Color, introspective activities of reflection. This is all about us.

Submission Requirements

• Deadline: July 1, 2010

• No more than 2 previously unpublished short stories per submission

• Simultaneous submissions okay, but notify if your work is accepted elsewhere

• 4,000 words or less

• Double spaced

• Poetry and non-English submissions accepted as long as they are accompanied by an English translation

All contributors will receive a copy of the anthology.

Submissions

All submissions must be sent electronically using .doc or .pdf to submissions@superhussy.com.

Title of submission should be placed in the subject line. Please include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and short bio with your submission.

Superhussy Media publishes work that celebrates girls and women of color everywhere!

We look forward to reading your submissions.

Sexuality, Disability & Teaching

I'm teaching a class at the College of Mount Saint Vincent this summer called Women, Art & Culture. I'm super excited to teach this class again because I get to share and discuss topics I love. Also, I get to have my students interact with dynamic media, and phenomenal women. Guest speaker line up includes: Maegan "La Mamita Mala" Ortiz, Sofia Quintero aka "Black Artemis" and my homegirls from DC who focus on mestizaje identity and women in jazz music.

In researching videos to include in my syllabus, which is interdisciplinary and incorporates intersectional theories, I will be using the following videos throughout the class to highlight the connection of gender, race, age, ethnicity, national origin, disability, citizenship status, sexuality, sexual orientation, and other aspects of our identity. I think it is important to share resources. These three videos will be used in my class. They are created by The Empowered Fe Fes, a group of young women ages 13-24 who "all different kinds of disabilities and come from different racial and ethnic communities."

The first one is called Why The Got To Do Me Like That? Here's what the film is about from the website, Beyond Media, where you can purchase them:

(The Empowered Fe Fes Take On Bullying) was produced in a workshop with the junior group of the Empowered Fe Fes, a project of Access Living in Chicago. In this film, 13 young women with disabilities explore school-based bullying by interviewing people on why bullying happens and how they respond, then acting out common experiences with new solutions. The Empowered Fe Fes demand viewers to consider bullying as a serious issue of discrimination, letting us know that we can work together to both understand the stop the problem.

Why They Gotta Do Me Like That? from Beyondmedia Education on Vimeo.

The next video is called Beyond Disability and is about:

The Empowered Fe Fes (slang for female), a group of young women with disabilities, hit the streets of Chicago on a quest to discover the difference between how they see themselves and how others see them. Their revelations are humorous, thought provoking and surprising. As the young women grapple with issues as diverse as access, education, employment, sexuality and growing up with disabilities, they address their audience with a sense of urgency, as if to say, "I need to tell you so you'll see me differently."

Beyond Disability Trailer from Beyondmedia Education on Vimeo.

This last video is called Doin' It: Sex, Disability & Videotape

The Empowered Fe Fes, a peer group of young women aged 16 to 24 with different disabilities, strike again with their second video production, an insightful investigation into the truths about sex and disability. In the video, the Fe Fes educate themselves about sex from many angles by talking with activists and scholars. The viewer tags along on a date between a woman with a disability and her able-bodied boyfriend, exploring relationship issues of dating with a disability over a candle-lit dinner.

Doin' It: Sex, Disability and Videotape Trailer from Beyondmedia Education on Vimeo.

You may buy all these videos at Beyond Media.

I hope it goes without saying that having a "disability week" in a syllabus is condescending and inappropriate, just like a "lesbian week" or "Latino week" would be.

Here's My Plan:
Currently, I plan to introduce the topic of disability and how it intersects with our multiple identities on the first day of class. Students will complete a social identity profile/matrix and I have assigned a paper around this profile/matrix. My colleagues and disability activists have shared and suggested to me terminology, definitions, and statistics on people living with disabilities in the US especially among women, women of Color, working-class women, and youth. What I have discovered is that when disability is discussed with other aspects of our identity, able-bodied privilege is one of the most surprising privileges many able-bodied students rarely think about. It is often the only privilege that students openly talk about and admit to having (if they do) versus discussions of White privilege, privilege of citizenship, Anglophone privilege etc., which are usually met with more resistance and defense of such privileges.


I plan to use these videos throughout the class, on three different days, and showing them again (as they are all under 1 hour) at other times during the course when my students have learned media literacy skills (I think it's important for students to acquire the skills to then re-watch a film and actually see how their lenses have widened/shifted/become more informed). Usually, when discussing reproductive rights and health, I remind students that it was not just Puerto Rican, Haitian and poor women of Color who have been carelessly used as "guinea pigs" for birth control research in the US, but women with disabilities were included too and are still not protected or given the same rights/choices/agency.

When we discuss violence against women, where we watch NO! The Rape Documentary, I remind students of how women with disabilities are also survivors of assault and rape. When we discuss pornography and watch the Frontline documentary American Porn, we also read Helen Ryles' piece "Pornography" in the book Tales From The Clit: A Female Experience of Pornography, where she shares her experience as a blind and deaf woman reading erotica in Braille. Those are just a few examples of the media I use and how I facilitate a discussion that can utilize intersectional approaches with students.

I hope this post can begin conversations on what we as educators use in our classrooms and with one another. I want to challenge the ideas that we learn the best and most useful knowledge from a "book." Incorporating films, poetry, testimonios, sculpture, cartoons, photography, and TV (to name a few) are what I enjoy included in my classes. What are some other resources you use? Do you have thoughts on using these resources? Please share!