Review: Healthy Hoohoo

I grew up in a time when douching was losing some appeal. My parents were hippies, but my mom's socialization as a woman with a vulva stayed with her. The ideas that our bodies are not attractive if they look or smell a particular way lead her to douching, but not for long.

Never was I raised with the impression that I need to douche. I was always told that warm water and fragrance-free soap would get any odor or discomfort I felt about my vulva taken care of quickly and comfortably.

Today is a new day. I've grown more into my own body and am understanding sometimes why folks choose douching as an option. I've not been attractive enough to that choice, especially after the cancerous cells on my cervix in 2012 and 2013 treatment, but I understand how our bodies change and how some options are more appeal and accessible than others.

Enter Healthy Hoohoo. I was not fully sure about this product, for myself or others. So this review is just about my experience. I want to make that clear because each body and vulva is different. Folks may have similar or very different experiences. Those could be better or less than exceptional from my own experience. Just keep this in mind when considering trying this product.

I found Healthy Hoohoo very useful for beach weather and my long days with a fun evening end. After Hurricane Sandy, many of NYC beaches are coming back to life, however not all have the same facilities we may be used to such as bathrooms that are well lit, access to clean water to shower, and ways to get sand off your body and out of your body when you are leaving.

I love the beach, it is my spiritual safe place. What better way to drown (literally and figuratively) the woos and concerns that bring me down than to head to a place that reminds me with every grain of sand and the epic vastness of the ocean that I am just a small speck of life on a brilliant universe. It really is calming. But the sand in all the sweet spots is not calming!

My Healthy Hoohoo wipes came in handy in those situations. I don't want to sit in a wet swimsuit as I ride the train back home, which could be over an hour depending on where we go! I always pack a change of bottoms with me and a pantyliner. The Healthy Hoohoo wipes helped with cleanup and any fears I may have had about having sand and seaweed in or around my vulva. I used the Feminine wipes and took those with me to the beach.

The feminine wipes come in a small blue packaging that has an adhesive opening and closure to keep the wipes clean and moist. They also have a foam and body wash available as well. The foam comes in a pump and expels as a foam (think how some hand soap dispensers work). Healthy Hoohoo is scent free, pH balanced, free of any parabens, alcohol free, and tested on folks with vulvas and not animals.

The wipes also come in handy when I want to freshen up for a date I may have even if I'm out most of the day. I'm the type that produces a lot of vaginal fluid and lubrication. This is common for my body. Other vulvas do not produce as much fluid as I do and others may produce more. Those of us who produce similar or more know the challenge of keeping panties from getting stained, so wearing pantyliners daily is a thing for me. No going commando for me!

I share that to let folks know that if you are uncomfortable about the fluid you produce and the amount, you are not alone and it is not uncommon! Throughout the day I can produce various amounts of fluid. If I see an attractive person on and talk with them, I could produce fluid, if I think about what I may be doing later that night, more fluid; I get an email from my partners, more fluid; I giggle or laugh or sneeze and I may dispel a little bit of urine (do some Kegel exercises to limit this) all of these are common experiences for me and Healthy Hoohoo helps with these experiences.

If you are looking to purchase and try Healthy Hoohoo consider their product finder by zip code. As this is a new product it may not be available in all locations you usually purchase feminine products. Consider also ordering online. The feminine wipes I used have 10 wipes in them for under $5. Foam and feminine wash are a bit under $15. If you try this product share what your experiences and thoughts were in the comments!

Demystifying Latina Sexualities

cross posted from my RH Reality Check blog.

As an undergrad and graduate student at the University of Maryland (UM) there were often talks about creating a Latino Studies program. It was not until I left UM in 2006 that such conversations were leading to action. Today there is an undergraduate Latino Studies program at UM thanks to the activism of key faculty and students. Last year graduate students working in Latino Studies created Semana de la Latina (Week of the Latina or Latina Week) at the end of March. This year, I was asked to be a part of Semana de la Latina and return to my alma mater and present on Latina sexualities.

I was incredibly honored, excited and anxious to accept such an invitation. It has been a very long time since I was back on campus and my leaving wasn’t under the greatest circumstances. However, knowing that students were leading and creating the events for the week and they reached out to me made me all the more sure I had to do it and do it well!

We had two hours to discuss Latina sexualities, and although that may not sound like a lot of time, I like to think we got a lot covered! I’ve included my powerpoint presentation below for folks to check out as I won’t be providing a slide by slide discussion of what I presented; instead I’ll touch upon key themes and conversations we had during the presentation.

The first slide I provided gave a definition of sexuality to introduce my presentation. I shared what many of us sexuality educator’s use and were trained to understand the complexity of sexuality: the circles of sexuality. I shared what each component means as many of us in the field understand them: sensuality, intimacy, identity, health and reproduction, and sexualization. I then shared with the 20+ people present that as I was learning these things about sexuality education, I wondered where race, class, ethnicity, ability, and citizenship status fit in. I asked those present where they would put each of these identities in these circles of sexuality. My decision a decade ago was that each of these identities fit into each of the circles of sexuality, so why don’t we ever talk about them when creating curriculums for youth and adults? Are we really doing “comprehensive” sexuality education when we omit these parts of our identities?

And that is where I began my presentation.

The main topics/themes I focused on included discussing and deconstructing the virgin/whore dichotomy; Latinas, abortion and contraceptive access; the Welfare Queen; criminalization of Latina sexualities; Trans Latinas how they are erased and/or attempts at inclusion; and media making and mentorship. For each of these topics I included artwork, films, data, and historical analysis for many of the topics presented in attempts to make this a multi-media, engaging, and interdisciplinary conversation.

The conversations we had about the virgin/whore dichotomy are not too far from what I have shared before about deconstructing ideas ofMarianismo. An additional component to ideas of sex-positivity connected to Latinas in the US was how these ideologies come from an assimilationist space/framework. Recognizing that sex-positivity may exist in multiple experiences is important and often I’ve found that when discussing sex-positivity among Latinas and women of Color, folks argue that the more assimilated we become to US society the more sex-positive we become as well. I find this troubling (and plan to write more in depth about it soon) for multiple reasons, mainly because it ignores how ethnocentric and elitist such ideas are while ignoring lived experiences of people abroad. It creates a “us versus them” space where the “us” is the US and thus better and more liberating. “Them” continues to be seen as “other” and ideas of being “traditional” (which is code for so many things) becomes undesirable and a sign of oppression when it comes to sexuality.

Using the artwork of two unknown artists and Isis Rodriguez, I explored the idea of the Virgin and the Whore from Latina artists. The first two images are of La Vigen, one called “The Liberation of Mary” where she is showing her vulva to the viewer and the other an image of a fat Virgin Mary. I spoke about how body shape and size is important to deconstruct in these images, that often we imagine and see images of a slender Virgin Mary whereas she was a pregnant woman but we don’t see her in such a way. Also, why do we think the body parts of the woman who some believed to have birth a prophet off limits to discuss? What does this do to our ideas of our bodies?

A film I used to discuss our ideas of young Latinas (and some older ones) connected to the virgin/whore dichotomy was Raising Victor Vargas (yes I do use this film often when I can because there is so much to connect to various topics). You may find the clip to this film on YouTube. We discussed how Judy is present in the film and her decision to remain a virgin is one that challenges our ideas of what young women are expected to do/act/say upon making that choice. One participate noted that Judy is not naïve as is assumed of young women or women who are virgins, that instead she is astute, smart, remains desirable, and negotiates her own safety without giving up any power.

To finish the conversation on virgin/whore dichotomy I presented Isis Rodriguez’s artwork No More!, which I’ve connected to in many ways, and Dr. Juana María Rodríguez’s ideas of “cyber-slut.” This led into the second them of Latinas, abortion and contraception. I shared my own experiences of attempting to obtain an IUD, responses to my sharing of choosing to use the withdrawal method, and sharing my perspective on the birth control pill’s 50^th anniversary (and responses to it). Then I included a discussion of sterilization, the history of it in the US among Latinas and differently able people, and how it remains one of the main contraceptive options for many Latinas in the US. I referenced Dr. Iris Ofelia Lopez’s longitudinal study she shared in her text Matters of Choice, which followed three generations of Puerto Rican women who have been sterilized (the first generation being ones who were forcibly sterilized and how that history impacted the choices of the women in their family: daughters and granddaughters). Dr. López’s idea of “agency within constraints” is one that is very useful to discussing and working with Latina populations.

A conversation about Latinas choosing abortion and what the rates are, as well as a focus on Rosie Jimenez was provided. It’s not often that I get choked up during presentations, but this time I teared up and my voice cracked as I talked about Rosie Jimenez, what her death represents still today, what her daughter has lost, and what we do when we easily for get the legacy she has given us. Discussing Rosie Jimenez’s inability to obtain and afford a legal abortion was a good transition to discussions of the Welfare Queen.

Prior to discussing ideas about the Welfare Queen as it is applied to Latinas, I shared a common belief that the people in the US who are seen to be socially acceptable recipients of Medicaid are veterans and people with visible disabilities. A good friend of mine, KB, shared this research with me, especially how it applied to veterans of Color. We explored how ideas of “invisible disabilities” especially mental illness have been applied to Latinas. For example, I’ve heard many people say to me and around me that Latinas are “crazy,” “unpredictable” and these are usually connected to ideas of mental illness, yet in such situations Latinas are seen as desirable, fetishized because of their “unpredicatablity” connected to disability. Thus, how are Latinas with different abilities seen as asexual while others are fetishized and what connections can we make to Isis Rodriguez’s artwork No More!?

As part of our conversation around the Welfare Queen, I shared artist, author and media maker Erika Lopez’s ideas of the Welfare Queen. She’s created a one-woman show discussing her experiences attempting to get books published, obtain Medicare and find health care. Part of her presentation is that when she was at the “welfare line” she did not see people with several children from multiple men, nor did she see people who did not take pride in their appearance. Instead, she saw beautiful and strong people who were experiencing hard times. They took pride in themselves and remained sexual people without shame or fear even if they found themselves in a space where their privacy was eliminated. Her two images of the Welfare Queen represent these ideas. The color image was her first and original image and the black and white one was a more recent representation that has aged the Welfare Queen, because older people also experience hard times.

The criminalization of Latina sexuality is one that I’ve thought about for several years. I’ve had the great fortune to examine this theme in multiple ways and the topics included were sex work, immigration and detention, violence, and gender identity and expression. Again, I used images from Isis Rodriguez and her series “My Life As A Comic Stripper” to highlight and discuss sex work in the US. As a group we discussed what we saw in her images and what messages she may be providing and sharing with viewers.

Conversations about violence I connected to reggeaton artist Ivy Queen, one of the only, if not THE only, woman in the male-dominated genre (who has been around for over two decades). One of her songs I used to discuss violence is “La Abusadora.” The song is in Spanish and I asked folks who do not understand or speak Spanish to listen to the production of the song, what they heard besides lyrics. The Spanish-speaking folks in the audience shared some of the terms they heard her mention in her lyrics. We had an important conversation around what it means when a Latina claims a certain level of violence. How is power connected to that violence, and what does it mean when that is the only form of power and agency some Latinas feel they possess?

I tied into this conversation to Lorena Gallo (formally Lorena Bobbitt), an Ecuadorian who still lives in Virginia (and for those of you familiar with the MD/VA/DC area you know how close those three areas are to one another. Gallo made national headlines when she cut part of her partner’s penis off after years of experiencing spousal rape (which he was not found guilty of but remains with a history of violence). Gallo was found not guilty by reason of insanity and committed to a mental health facility. Again the idea of mental illness and connections to Latina sexualities, disability, and violence intersect. I completed this section by discussing the Texas rape case and how the virgin/whore dichotomy becomes something we don’t discuss in such situations. Who are we to call a 11 year-old girl whose experiences of rape and abuse mean she is a “whore”? How is virginity and promiscuity connected to choice?

As part of the conversation around gender expression and identity and the connections to criminalization, I discussed the ways Latinas who represent/embrace/identify/perform masculinity are targeted. Again, the ideas of assimilation were present in that Latinas whose gender expression may be what some may consider masculine, this is seen as an outcome of living in the US, something either celebrated as liberating or seen as problematic because they are foreign. I have to thank Dr. Ziegler for pushing me towards including this topic in more depth for this presentation.

Using singer, author, and model Rita Indiana as an example, we discussed how gender expression is tied into this conversation. Rita Indiana and Los Misterios released an album last year that was very well received in the US and abroad. Indiana identifies as a Dominican lesbian and in the interview shares how folks are embracing her and sharing that they are happy she is true to herself and not hiding. Other interviews with Indiana demonstrate how much her gender expression, which many may see as masculine, is a topic of conversation when she does interviews. She has spoken of her androgynous appearance and her height of over 6 foot 2 inches has been a focus for many Latino interviewers.

The next theme discussed was how trans people are included, excluded and erased in conversations about Latina sexualities. I shared data from the UK organization http://www.tgeu.org/ ">Transgender Europe, which shared data on the murders of Trans people all over the world. Transgender Europe released data in the summer of 2010 that showed Central and South America as one of the most unsafe places for a trans person to live. Reports of murders for the first 6 months of 2010 were already exceeding the number of reported murders from 2009, and those only include the reported murders. Making it clear to participants that these murders are INTRAcultural and INTRAracial was important for me because often we assume “other” people are murdering members of our communities instead of holding our own communities responsible.

I encouraged Latino activists present to not ignore the Transgender Day of Remembrance, to remember this data, and that if we do nothing and are complacent with our community being murdered we are supporting the murders and allowing for them to continue in our communities. Also included in this section was the erasure of Latinas who identify as trans, how we have a rich history and legacy of activism that we choose to ignore which is an injustice for us all.

The final part of the presentation with a shameless plug for mentoring and media making by highlighting Sofia Quintero’s HomeGirl.TV. This is a project that author, activist, and media maker Sofia Quintero created and implemented as a social network and space for people to provide guidance, support, and advice on various topics many of us encounter. The first webisode of the first season answers the question: Should I put my boyfriend of 3 months of my cell phone plan? Part of this being a shameless plug is that I am one of the HomeGirls Sofia reached out to and included in the webisodes. HomeGirl.TV launched March 31, and if you’d like to see all of the webisodes, new ones are uploaded every Thursday, please join HomeGirl.TV. It is not just for people who identify as women, it is for everyone. Sofia wishes to begin a dialogue and is looking for HomeGirls for season 2!

I ended the presentation with an advertisement that embodied many if not all of the themes and conversations we had that day: And Then There Was Salsa.

Many thanks to the Latino Studies program, Ana, Maria and Pamela did an amazing job, and coordinated two more events: an art exhibit and a film screening which received media attention. Thank you to the participants and to my two mentors who were present to support me: Dr. Ana Patricia Rodriguez and Anne Anderson-Sawyer.

(VIDEO) Is Representing Women of Color Really That Important?

Cross posted from my RH Reality Check Blog.

While searching for media that specifically represented young men of Color talking about how to properly put on and use a male and female condom for a previous post, I came across this video below which I linked to:




Excited that young college students from various racial classifications and ethnic backgrounds were represented and a part of the video, I shared the link via twitter. The next day I received a notification from someone called femidom_fan via twitter who said I should check out a video on a UKish site for a more “natural” model in a video. When I clicked on the video I noticed that 1. All the images that were drawn were colored in a peach color, what one might say is the color of the “flesh” crayon in a box and 2. The image of the person inserting the female condom matched these illustrations.

I responded to femidom_fan that the video and illustrations were of racially White or light skinned people and the videos I shared were more diverse and inclusive and so I would choose to use those over the one offered. The response was the following: “is it that important that WOC (women of Color) [are represented]? why?"

My immediate response was that femidom_fan’s question was problematic, then I found it interesting how exclusive femidom_fan’s thought process was. Why is it important to have women of Color represented and a part of conversations around reproductive health, reproductive justice, and sexual health? I couldn’t believe that was a question someone actually asked! It was as if my entire existence, my life’s work was seen as useless to this person. Good thing “I don’t really care what people say, I don’t really watch what them wan do, I got to stick to my girls like glue” as Sean Paul sings.

Then my homegirl, Aimee Thorne-Thomsen, executive director, Pro-Choice Public Education Project, a woman of Color in the reproductive justice movement, asked me: “where does one begin with schooling people about the importance of WOC, especially young WOC & QPOC (queer people of Color) in reproductive health/justice work...?” My response would probably be that I’d choose to educate other people of Color on why they are important versus educating racially White people on why our voices matter. I’m just in a space where I no longer want to prioritize or spend time educating racially White people who can educate themselves if they took time out to do their own research versus expecting us to teach and explain things to them. Talk about a sense of entitlement.

My homegirl Aimee and I are on the same page because then she wrote me this: “I think it's hard to begin those conversations about YQPOC (young queer people of Color) & repro health/justice with people who want YOU to teach THEM” (emphasis my own). Notice how she too says “conversations about” not conversations with YQPOC.

I agree with my homegirl, poet, radical tutor, media maker and mamí Maegan La Mamita Mala Ortiz’s belief: “It’s not my job to engage White people.” I know this may sound harsh, and even exclusionary to some, and I hear that. At the same time these are our lives. This is our life, death, murder, eugenics, inequality, survival. If I’m working to center youth, queer youth, people of Color, working class people, people with disabilities, undocumented people I’m going to focus on us first. We are a priority, and in a world that does not prioritize our lives or our survival, there is a lot of work to do.

What are your thoughts about the importance of women of Color’s representations in materials and education focused on sexual and reproductive health?

Please Be Advised: Latina Sexuality

I realize that sometimes I go off on tangents in some posts. For this one here are the things I’d like to convey: there are Latino sexologists in the US, I believe Latina Magazine has reinforced virgin/whore dichotomy by hiring an adult film star as their resident sexual advice columnist, I support AnnMarie as a sex worker, Latina and professional; I think there may be areas in sexuality that may not be accurately or appropriately addressed in this column.

I have a free subscription to Latina Magazine. I was glad that my subscription included the two issues where LatiNegra’s were on the cover (Sessilee Lopez March 2009 y Zoe Saldana for the June/July 2009 covers). It’s not often we see ourselves in all our Blackness and Browness on the cover of magazines that also recognize our ethnicity. Yet, I’ll admit there are other magazines I’d rather dish out $6 a month on, and do happily, then Latina. There is a part of my identity that is not represented through their magazine. You see I identify as a Caribbean woman, a LatiNegra, an Afro-Puerto Rican, activist, educator, mentor, radical woman of Color, scholar, sexologist, fat, lover, and working class. These are parts of my identities that many forms of media, including Latina Magazine, have ignored.

As many magazines do, Latina has a column for advice called “Delores Dices.” There have been plenty of times when I disagreed with the advice given to women regarding relationships, sexuality, sexual health, pleasure, and intimacy. As a trained sexologist, I know that advice columns are good places to start, but they can’t answer all of our questions, or really get to the multiple factors that may come up in certain questions/situations. So, this is a concern I usually have in general with many advice columns, especially those targeted towards reaching people of Color.

Almost two weeks ago my friend and colleague Andrea Plaid sent a tweet that said something to the effect of (and I paraphrase) Latina Magazine hires porn star for new sexuality advice column called Between The Sheets. I clicked on the link and was directed to the story. A picture of a young light skinned slim Latina with brown straight hair greeted me in her pink lingerie. She looked familiar and I scrolled down to read the story. I realized that I recognize AnnMarie because she has been in adult films and I am not ashamed to say that I watch porn!

I “retweeted” the story Andrea sent with the statement “because there are no Latina sexologists.” As twitter is known to work, the story was retweeted from my end and Andrea’s end. My homegirls authors, poets, and media makers Sofia Quintero aka Black Artemis and Maegan La Mamita Mala Ortiz both responded to me. We had an interesting discussion about the choice Latina Magazine had made. They encouraged me to send Latina Magazine my credentials, to write to them, or seriously consider publishing a book!

I’ve thought about this for some time. I went back to the story and saw there were only four comments about the interview with AnnMarie and the new column. The positions were pretty dichotomous; either the idea was loved or hated. My first reaction was hurt.

Why is it that we women, women of Color hurt each other more than anybody else?

I was/am hurt because I know that there are multiple ways to send messages. That Latina Magazine has power in our community with many of our members. How could they not find sexologists in our community? Did they not find my website or the website of others in the field? I’ve shared that one of the things I long for is to be respected and acknowledged as the professional in the field that I am! It’s been a struggle; seasoned sexologists have dismissed me because of my age, ethnicity, or size (to name a few). To see Latina Magazine make a decision that ignored me, us, was the sting that led me to write this post. In writing this I had to move through that selfish space I was at and look at the situation from multiple/collective perspectives.

What message is Latina Magazine sending us when they hire a young Latina in the adult industry to lead a column on sex advice? What happens to the conversations about the sociological, psychological, anthropological, affects upon sexuality? What about when topics such as immigration, rape, incest, domestic violence, abortion, miscarriage (and the D&C that may follow), building relationships and having sex after such experiences come up? Is Latina Magazine setting AnnMarie up for failure? Sexuality is far beyond the act of sex, or of exchanging bodily. The exchange of power, energy, consent, accountability, responsibility, and history is what sexuality also includes (again to name a few).

We, as women of Color and/or Latinas, are placed in and struggle with this “virgin/whore dichotomy.” Latina Magazine, in my opinion, has approached the topic of sexuality and sexual health from within this paradigm. They are reinforcing this ideology as opposed to challenging it or moving beyond it to recreate something new. It’s kind of like using the word “machismo” which has erroneously been coined to affect our men exclusively when really this is a phenomenon in every ethnic community. Latinos don’t hold the copyright to machismo! Yet when we use such ideas and terms we reinforce the existence and misdirected importance. I believe this has happened here with the “virgin/whore dichotomy.” Is it possible to “work from the inside out” to create a change in a dichotomy that generations of people (not just Latinos) have been socialized to believe about us?

I also wonder: Why didn’t Latina Magazine go to the source of such imagery and ask Vanessa del Rio?

There is also a reinforcement of what is expected to be feminine, “sexy,” and labeled Latina. I believe there are more of us that fall outside their expectations than those that meet them. Is the idea that because AnnMarie fits a standard of beauty that is shared by White communities in the US, she will reach more people? Is there an idea that AnnMarie is a safe choice because of her background and profession without regard for her sustainability in the field?

As a result, I think that AnnMarie will not find the support and respect she has earned and deserved as a successful Latina in the sexuality field, and I know all too well how this feels and would not wish this situation on anyone. My fear of this occurring to AnnMarie has already begun. Her expertise is being questioned (which I believe is appropriate to an extent), her character is being disrespected because she is a sex worker (which is juvenile), and people are already dismissing her (which cancels out Latina Magazine’s efforts right?).

I’d like to make this very clear: I’m on AnnMarie’s side! I hope she gives Latina Magazine what they are looking for 100 times over! She’s Latina, a sex worker, and I’ve got her back! I’m not going to play into some hierarchy of “traditionally educated” Latina versus “sex worker” Latina (because many sex workers have degrees, are more than just their job, kinda like you, and are intelligent business people). I’ve worked in the different sectors of the sex work industry and know it’s hard work!

Plus, it’s kind of a tired space to occupy. It’s been done over and over and is still being done. I can’t tell you how many times a woman of Color, a Latina, has used her power over me to keep me below her because she thinks she’s better than me, all because I focus on sexuality. I’m not better than AnnMarie, I just have a different skill set and different approach to discussing our sexuality (I do think my hair is more fun than hers, but that’s another post for another time). Both of our approaches are needed, they work for different communities and together we reach more people who need support and guidance than if we were not doing this work at all.

AnnMarie can probably reach the community I cannot. I can probably get membership into certain groups that she can’t. We are not working against one another; we can very much work together!

I am a sex worker. I work in sex. My form of sex work is not better than or more important than AnnMarie’s. I think I’ve got a lot to learn from AnnMarie about business and I’m sure I can mentor her in some things as well. I’ve devoted over a decade (and the rest of my life) to the field of sexuality and sexual science. During this time, I’ve realized there are not enough people of Color in our field. Granted, it is not the highest paying field to be a part of, but it is one where people have been extremely dedicated and committed. I hope AnnMarie’s column in Latina Magazine helps other Latinos and communities of Color realize this is real work and there’s a lot of work to be done! We need more sexuality educators, counselors, therapists, and professionals trained in the field! We need more now! Learn how to become one.

If AnnMarie is reading this: Know that I hope you create the space and messages YOU want to create for our community without being told what is or is not acceptable. If you need guidance, support, mentorship, or a second opinion you can reach out to me, this work is needed.

You may also follow AnnMarie on twitter.