Thursday, November 26, 2015

Bi's 2015 year [Updated Daily]

A lot has happened in 2015. I accepted a full-time position that took me away from writing and sharing reviews for a while as I became acclimated to the work and position. But I never stopped writing, see below for the big book I've written and how you can get your hands on it!

I've had a lot of up and down this year, but when I feel down I look back at all I've accomplished this year. Here are the items I can recall and want to include in my legacy/archive. Hope you enjoy!


No more cancerous cells on my cervix!


  • Taught my first webinar: Demystifying LatiNegra Sexualities via ISEE
  • Spent the month in NOLA helping a friend recover from cancer
  • My interview on Cervivor TV discussing sex and sexuality after cancer was featured


  • Attended the Cleveland International Film Festival for work and welcomed the trans community to view the film
  • Met an online friend in Cleveland of several years for the first time, Justin
  • Completed teaching a 4 week online course on Using Media in the Social Justice Classroom with Bank Street College of Education.



  • The Academy of Adolescent Health awarded WOCSHN our first award and it's for social justice!



  • I turned 37 and it was the first birthday without speaking to my mother. She is dying of Alzheimer's. I celebrated in NOLA.
  • NPR interviewed me for a conversation on Sexuality Education featuring my homegirl Lena Solow, an amazing white sex educator who gets and practices racial and economic justice!
  • I built with some amazing WOC on a grant to make online violence targeted toward us end


  • I finished writing a book, a curriculum of 13 lesson plans called What's the REAL DEAL about Love and Solidarity? that centers young Black femmes. You can purchase it until the end of 2015 for $200 and it comes with 3 short films written by youth and directed by Hollywood directors that center the curriculum. It is rooted in social emotional learning, aligns with the common core state standard in ELA, and is a call to action for educators and youth: who do you want to be and what world do you want to live in?

  • WOCSHN won the Catalyst Award from Catalyst Con West for our work towards racial justice in the US sexuality field


  • I presented at the first ever Association of Black Sexologists and Clinicians conference in Philidelphia, PA representing my personal work on the LatiNegrxs Sex Survey, discussing the work we've accomplished at the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN), and representing my full-time job, which won an award for one of our short films centering a young Black trans student.
  • I was on a panel about Latinx activism at La Casa Azul bookstore in Harlem discussing my work with The LatiNegrxs Project and being a femme elder
  • I shared some narratives from The LatiNegrxs sex Survey at a AfrxLatinx reading event in Harlem at the Schomburg Center for Latinx Heritage Month
  • I created a list of Resources for Black trans people and communities 



Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Presenting at Rutgers November 12, 2015

At 8pm join me if you can! Free and open to the public. 604 Bartholomew Road.  

I'll be presenting new never seen before. Lips of the feature length documentary film BLACK PERVERT centering the stories of Black Latinx/LatiNegrxs


I'm thankful for my paraguard IUD (the non-hormonal option that lasts 9+ years) because growing up in a family of Puerto Rican women who remember the original birth control pill trials at home and how some women died, hormonal methods have scared me. I have an instantly effective long term non hormonal option that gives me power with my body not just over it. My IUD allows me to enjoy my body and sexual experiences with my partners because pleasure for women of color is essential.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Review & Giveaway: Minna Limon

Just in time for showing yourself some love this month here is our first review and giveaway for 2015! Minna Life, a tech organization with the belief that "technology should make the world less complicated," has generously offered one of their many luxury, high-tech products to a LatinoSexuality reader...for FREE! Details below after my review.

Now, the Limon looks just like it sounds (especially for our Latinx and Spanish speaking readers): a lemon. It fits in the palm of your hand, comes in 2 different colors (mine is pink), is rechargeable, waterproof, offers a variety of vibrations, and is programmable to the vibration and pulsation you set! This is really the future of sex toys and it is incredibly exciting to witness and experience.

One of the first things that made me instantly fall in love with Limon was that it came 100% charged out of the box! I know some folks may not understand how important this is, after all there are many great toys that you just have to plug in and enjoy, or add batteries and go for it. However, my experience with luxury sex toys has been they come completely under-charged; which means it could take hours (and in one of the last reviews up to 16 hours) for the initial charge. This is ridiculous, to be honest, I mean this is the future! Why do we have to wait 16 hours for a toy to charge?

In any event, that is not the case with Limon. I figured it wouldn't be so when I opened the cylinder box holding the toy (yes even the box is posh). Inside the Limon will greet you with the pointed part facing upward. Remove the toy and underneath is the charger, cord, instruction manual (in various languages), and a carrying pouch. The charging dock is easily plugged into an outlet or your USB on the computer or another charging plug. When the Limon is fully charged you will see a red light appear in a particular way, when it is needing to be charged you see the light reflect this as well.

Realizing that the Limon was ready to go so was I! It took me a moment to read over the manual, but not too long as there are many images and clear directions on how to care for the product and use it, especially the recording feature.

The vibrations and sequence of which you may choose among are a good variety. They gradually become more and more intense with various pulsating components. Honestly, I went straight for recording my favorite vibrations before trying what they all offered. At this point, I know what I dig and what is not strong enough for my tastes. If you are new to such luxury toys I would encourage you to take some time with each vibration and get focused on what you want the Limon to remember as your recorded vibration and pulsation.

The results were great! I really am impressed something that fits in the palm of my hand, that I can sneak into so many different spaces, but also not too loud (a huge thing for strong vibrations), and waterproof is so powerful, posh, easy to clean, and keep. I was concerned about traveling with the Limon, that if I packed it in a suitcase or carry on that even if I put it on the off setting it would be pressed and result in the vibrations occurring. However that did not happen. Also, I was able to see if the vibrations lasted a certain amount of time, and they last long enough, about 4 hours, before I needed to recharge.

The only challenges or downsides of the Limon is that if you want something that offers vibrations in a variety of body parts, this is smaller and won't be able to cover a ton of space. However, if you into certain parts of your body to focus upon, this is a great option. The other challenge is the price, for sale at $119, it's an investment. Now, sometimes we don't always have this kind of money to invest in our sexual pleasure or sex lives. In many ways this makes me angry and frustrated. Not just those with disposable income or wealth deserve sexual pleasure, we all do!

That is why I'm happy to share that the folks at Minna Life have offered a giveaway of the Limon to Latino Sexuality readers! Here's how it works to be considered for the prize:

1. Make sure you follow Latino Sexuality on twitter @LatinoSexuality
2. Make sure you follow Minna Life on twitter @Minna_Life
3. In less than 2 tweets of 140 characters or less, tell me why you want to try the Limon
4. This will be a challenge as you'll need to @ both of us in your tweet as your tweet is your entry
5. You may tweet to us as many reasons as you like to increase your chances of winning this free luxury high-tech toy!
6. I will select folks using a random number selector
7. You will need to send me a mailing address (no PO boxes) so that the Minna Life team can ship your item
8. If you wish, consider writing a review about your Limon experience and share on social media!

Send in your items by Friday at midnight EST. I'll select the winning (self) lover and announce February 14, 2015!

Looking forward to hearing all the ways you will advocate for your sexual pleasure and self care! Good luck!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Lesson 31: Lessons Learned as a LatiNegra Sexologist


Not everyone's ideas of freedom or liberation are the same.

Life Lesson:

I know it's devastating to realize, yet it's important that you do.  We all have different ideas of what is freedom and liberation. Not everyone will agree. What you'll have to do is decide how to move towards what you desire in a way that does not harm or oppress others. Your liberation and freedom cannot be granted at the hurt, murder, incarceration, medical abuse, lack of basic needs, removal of love, pleasure, or compassion of others.

Sometimes you won't always realize what this means. Sometimes you may be called out because your ideas of liberation and freedom are hurting others or don't take into account their lived realities. It is ok when your ideas of liberation and freedom change and shift. This is something that will happen as you transform, evolve, un/learn. Don't run from this, it is part of your growth.

Thanks to everyone who read, commented, shared, and supported this writing for Latinx Heritage Month. I was challenged and vulnerable as I shared many of these lessons and the things that brought me to understand them. I also wrote them as a journal entry to myself, how I speak to myself at times of learning, healing, pain, coping, discomfort, liberation. I'm considering creating these in a zine/book format to distribute (for a small fee) to help me raise some funds and support other projects I'm working on, specifically The LatiNegrxs Sexuality Survey (which if you haven't taken it there's still time to do so! I'm also open to critique/feedback/and changes as I know it's not perfect!). 

For inquiries or to hire bi visit her site or email 

Read Lessons 1-10, Lessons 11-20, Lesson 21, Lesson 22, Lesson 23, Lesson 24, Lesson 25, Lesson 26, Lesson 27, Lesson 28, Lesson 29, Lesson 30

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Giveaway & Review: Stronic Drei Pulsator by Fun Factory

I told ya'll more reviews and giveaways were coming our way! This time I'm all about offering luxury sex toys to folks who deserve them: and that's all of us! Sure, some of us may be able to afford them on our own, but others of us, could never dish out $200 for a sex toy. So, enter this sex toy giveaway of the Stronic Drei. Check out this video below and then read my review.

So, it's been about a month or more since I received my Stronic Drei to review. Let me say, it's been difficult to focus on writing this. I'm already best friends with my toy and I'm greedy and territorial about it too!

The video is a great introduction and primer for your toy. There is very little language/words in the pamphlet and mostly instructions via images. This was a bit tricky for me to follow. I did a lot of trial and error before figuring out how it worked. I even had to look up other sites that reviewed the toy to understand how to get it to work! Yet, it's accessible and user friendly.

First, you'll notice the packaging, it's beautiful and Eco-friendly. My Stronic Drei is blue and just holding it in my hand was erotic. The lines and crafting, curves of the pulsator are brilliant. I often am worried that the controller of the toys are too heavy and will be a challenge to use by myself as they will tip out, you know gravity isn't always on our side.

The great thing about the Stronic Drei is that it does not require batteries, which often lead to the heavy base. Instead, it is the future of sex toys! It is rechargeable through an outlet or through the computer. It is also magnetic in that nothing plugs into the toy, so be careful you have both magnetic pieces touching the parts that it needs to touch. You'll see the red light as outlined in the pamphlet when it's properly connected.

Your first initial charging will take over 10 hours, 16 to be exact. This, for me, meant I had to plug it into an outlet because I take my laptop around with me. But the good thing was I plugged it in when I woke up and by the time I was ready to relax and get settled at the end of the day it was charged. This is just a one time charge to my knowledge. Also, what better way to really bring home the self-care rituals that help me relax and experience pleasure?!

Like many rechargeable toys, this one you can tell it needs recharging when the pulsating gets less intense. However, there are over 5 different pulsating effects, intensity, and sensations. The images in the pamphlet demonstrate the intensity and vibrations of each sensation. They are actually pretty on point too!

So the pulsating is really dynamic. I've experienced nothing like it with a crafted item. It really is worth the price tag! Do you feel like a cyborg if you are the one using it on a partner? Do you reach the right areas for which you are searching? You'll have to decide on your own. But what I can offer you is my honesty that comes with my realization that caring for myself, centering my pleasure, has always had positive consequences.

Make sure to clean your item as suggested in the pamphlet. Consider using a condom for easier clean up, and if you choose to share this toy with partner(s) as you may use it in an anus or vaginal canal. 

The best part of this toy: you have the opportunity to get your own, for FREE direct from the manufacturer! What better way to wrap up Latinx Heritage Month?!

You have a change to win your own Stronic Drei! Here's what you need to do:

1. Follow @LatinoSexuality on Twitter
2. Follow @FunFactoryUSA on Twitter
3. You must be following BOTH accounts to be considered for the giveaway. Do this by Friday October 17, 2014
4. Tweet/retweet about the giveaway*
5. Be open to writing your own review of your experience with the Stronic Drei
6. If you win, you'll need to provide your government name, address (no PO Boxes)
7. Enjoy!

*Winners will be randomly selected based on their retweets which include both twitter handles for @LatinoSexuality and @FunFactoryUSA. Winners announced Friday October 17, 2014 by 10pm EST.

Of course, you don't have to enter to win, instead you can purchase your own right now

Lesson 30: Lessons Learned as a LatiNegra Sexologist


There are consequences to standing on the side of justice.

Life Lesson:

Often these consequences are positive and affirming. Other times they may be negative. Sometimes there are no consequences. Either way, it's important to keep this in mind. When you stand on the side of justice, have convictions, beliefs, values, and goals rooted in love, compassion, and humanity, folks will not always agree with you or your approaches.

Hate and oppression are powerful. They may sometimes be very intimidating to go up against. But when you remind yourself of all the love surrounding you, of the power you embody, and approach each situation from compassion and love, you have already persevered.

You'll remind students of this when you encourage them to stay rooted in their convictions of what they belief is just.  For example, when we speak of misogyny you'll remind students that there are consequences to challenging that system and we have so many examples from the language we use on a daily basis or to hurt others, to murder, to how law enforcement engages with survivors of rape, domestic violence, and the like.

Then you will remind students that there are consequences for the people who identify as men or who embody and embrace some/any forms of masculinity and also work to end/challenge misogyny. The ways some target those individuals, how some make them feel unsafe, how folks question their sexual orientation, their goals, their ability to remain in group contact even when they are speaking to their community members from a place of love and compassion.

Folks do not always enjoy being challenged. Sometimes folks respond to that in various ways, they may feel attacked by a call out, but do not realize the gift that is being shared with them. Other folks may move into the compassion and choose to un/learn what they have been taught or hold onto that harms and oppresses others. The important thing, is that when that person, or you, choose to learn from the discomfort, then healing and change may emerge.

There are consequences, and that is not always a negative thing; it is just a reality. When you realize this and you still choose to stand on the side of justice, you have already decided where you belong.

For inquiries or to hire bi visit her site or email