cross posted from my Media Justice column
I didn’t want to write this post. Who wants to write a “goodbye” or
“last post” piece? What I really didn’t want to do was realize this part
of my life was wrapping itself up. I was afraid of what that would
mean. Then, I put my trust in the universe and my community and I
realize this is one way of telling me it’s time. Time for new voices,
new opportunities, new growth. All the while I was avoiding writing this
and I’m now experiencing a really amazing sense of accomplishment. As
someone who was pushed out of a PhD program for not writing well enough
almost over 5 years ago by the same folks who heavily recruited me, and
finding opportunities to write that nurture my spirit and life, grounds
me. Reminds me my words, thoughts, and actions are important in this
world.
Three years ago when this column premiered
I had lots of ideas. I still do about what is possible when writing and
living media justice. Reading over the posts of the past 3 years,
almost 125 of them in total, I’ve seen myself evolve, transform, and
become a person, educator, sexologist, and radical femme of Color that
makes me proud.
Reflecting on various topics in the media, our communities, interviewing
amazing media makers, and publicly thinking about what’s next or
solutions to communal healing was what I needed. What an amazing gift to
be given and to be able to share and heal worldwide.
I’ve learned a lot about myself, the media, and about justice and
freedom. Here are a few things I’ve learned over the past 3 years:
We are all media makers. Every single one of us. We may not enjoy the
media that others may create, we may challenge and critique it, we may
not consider what others do “media” because of our rigid or unclear
ideas about what media is defined as; but it’s still media and it’s
still powerful and that is something to value right now. It’s also
something to fight for, especially as people of Color, with
disabilities, who are immigrants, working class, trans*, queer, and who
remain oppressed.
Sometimes it hurts too much to care and it’s okay to admit this; it’s
part of the healing process. There were times when my spirit, body, and
commitment to taking intellectual risks were not strong and in pain.
Putting my ish on paper as Gloria Anzaldúa has written really was an
incredible part of my own healing. Knowing I could not “care” about a
topic because it would impact me in a way I was not ready for was a
reminder that I center self-care. It was also a reminder that I know
myself better than I thought I did, my triggers, the space I occupy and
can offer for others to occupy, and how valuable my time is. I’ve also
learned that caring for me comes when I am able to fully witness and
experience what is occurring.
We do a lot of important work quietly. I’ve become more introverted as
I’ve aged, more selective, thoughtful and mindful in a way that is
comforting because I know I’m doing hard work within myself. It’s
exciting to see and interact with youth who are having the exact same
experience I am but at a different time in their lives. So much about
this world and our societies have shifted and changed. I’m learning so
much from youth right now and absorbing those new skills and creating
that new knowledge is joyous! Sometimes I just have to sit with that joy
and put my hand to my heart and savor it, thankful for it’s presence in
my life.
Community can be and is online and saves lives. There’s always been
resistance to when folks who experience oppression and/or
marginalization find ways to survive. I’ve witnessed and benefited from
having this online space to dialogue and build with others. I’ve also
been a part of and seen it heal and work to protect, support, and
embrace our communities. Folks question the validity of online spaces
and I’ve got to say that there are many examples of how these spaces are
crucial for many of us.
I’m not sure what else to share, but you can still find me online
writing and posting at my blog LatinoSexuality.blogspot.com where I’ll
continue to do this work and writing at RH Reality Check on topics specific to communities of Color, sexuality, and reproductive justice.
As I tell my students each semester: You each deserve to be anywhere and
everywhere you want to be! You have power and don’t ever forget that
even when some may try to take it from you, scare you from using it,
your power is your own. Thanks for witnessing and being a part of this
journey.
Give yourself a gift and go see Beasts Of The Southern Wild and ask yourself “what does it mean to be free?” And then go get free!
“The whole universe depends on everything fitting together just right.
If one piece busts, even the smallest piece, the entire universe will
get busted.”
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