Man Down & Woman Up: Can We Claim Violence?

cross posted from my Media Justice column

***Trigger Warning for discussions of violence and rape***

I’m going to write something very controversial, something that many folks will not agree with and I’m aware of this and I’d like readers to be aware also. Here goes: I do not completely believe that non-violent societies/communities are the most safe all the time. I write this knowing that violence manifests in complicated and multiple ways. If your idea of violence is just physical pain and issues of safety, please think of violence as larger than that. When people talk about state violence they are often discussing systems of oppression that are institutionalized (not just the death penalty as some may think). Violence comes in many forms and I admit that there are some forms and types of violence that I completely understand and could perhaps see myself becoming a part of or performing if put in certain situations.

For some time I’ve been wondering why people are so shocked and disappointed when women (anybody who identifies as a woman in this world) claim some level of violence (whether it be carrying pepper spray, a weapon (and as Ani DiFranco says “’cause every tool is a weapon if you hold it right”), or learning self-defense and/or martial arts (to name a few). Yes there are folks who think it’s problematic that women and other folks who must protect themselves must do so in our society/world and they talk about what that means and how it can possibly change. I’m not arguing against change, I’m urging us to think about how what some may call “violence” others may call “survival” and even “love,” a form of love so deep and revolutionary that it stems from a desire to survive and be liberated.

This is a topic I’ve discussed often regarding specific topics and people. The conversations around Rihanna’s “Man Down” video and song have inspired part of this post/thought process/desire for larger conversation. If you haven’t seen the video it is below and lyrics to the song can be found here.

The chorus of this song and the interpretations of the lyrics are what have sparked much conversation and debate. Some lyrics include:

Oh mama mama mama

I just shot a man down

In central station

In front of a big ol crowd

Oh Why Oh Why

Oh mama mama mama

I just shot a man down

In central station

Viewers and listenters are encouraged to connect these lyrics and Rihanna’s actions to revenge for a rape that occurred that we see in the video. Part of me wants to remind folks that Rihanna is not singing anything new, even for her. Can we think back to her first album Music of the Sun and her song “There’s A Thug In My Life” where she sings:

There's a thug in my life, how'ma gonna tell my mama

She gonna say it ain't right, but he's so good to me

There's a thug in my life, and its gonna cause crazy drama

I'm gonna see him tonight, I'm gonna give him everything

Here she’s invoking talking/telling her mother, just like in the “Man Down” song. She focuses on disappointing her mother, talking about how she is making decisions based on what she feels and knows is best for her. This is something that we often don’t provide or allow youth to do, we, adults, think we know “better” what is good for a young person than that young person knows for themselves. This goes totally against my positive youth development philosophy as well as my support of harm reductionist approaches. I digress.

Lots of talk about the Rihanna video from some great places, that if you want to read more I would suggest the Crunk Feminist Collective post Man Down: On Rihanna, Rape, and Violence (read the comments too!), Code Red has a great discussion on Caribbean representations and Rihanna’s video between Bajan and Jamaican communities.

Yet, I want us to have large conversations about violence. I’ve discussed in the past women of Color claiming a certain level of violence, something a student of mine from years ago mentioned and has stayed with me all this time. I spoke about this specifically with the Ivy Queen song “La Abusadora” which you can listen to here (it’s in Spanish only).

What about non-consensual violence such as beating and hitting an attacker, self-defense, in some forms of discipline, for protection, to cope, and to end colonial legacies? I want to be clear here, there are violent interactions that are consensual and I’ll talk about those in a moment. These examples above I’m thinking about in larger ways, not just issues of safety in our communities, also in public health, spiritual growth, liberatory goals, nationalists agendas, and freedom in general.

You see I struggle with this often. I appreciate the exchange within my community and online about this topic. There are parts of me that know when someone is murdered or harmed in particular ways that has an impact on a community in very specific ways. At the same time I understand why being violent in certain ways (I’m thinking a rape victim/survivor hurting/killing their rapist) can also create a safe( r) space. Then I struggle again with how we can build communities with that person/rapist who has violated other people in such a way. I am not comfortable with this being so dichotomous: either you are anti-violence or pro-violence. I think it is more complicated.

You see, I don’t think all forms of violence are forms of abuse. My homegirl Marie shared with me on twitter when I asked about violence always being a form of abuse her experience in her Krav class (a form of hand-to-hand combat/martial arts). That “I'm learning how to defend myself in class. Violence in a controlled environment is necessary in order to learn.” Controlling violence is something that is new for me as well to think about in this particular way. For example, when we discussed violence in my class last semester and then I asked students to write about it on their final exam, many of the men in the class wrote about boxing and a way to end boxing to have less violence communities. I was surprised that they thought this way, and realized we didn’t talk about “controlled violence” which is what boxing as a sport is in our society.

So, why don’t we believe youth and women and other folks who claim a certain level of violence to control that violence? To only use that violence when it is really needed (whenever that may be) but when they feel unsafe, need to protect themselves, or liberating their land, family, home, country? I think a lot of this idea lies in the “what if” fear. What if someone else was hurt? What if a melee occurs? What if people misuse that form of violence?

I think those questions are valid. I think they are also connected to ideas of power and who can claim power and when. I really appreciate Sofia Quintero’s (aka Black Artemis) list of “revenge films” to watch and discuss, which was also inspired by the Rihanna “Man Down” video. If you have not seen her last suggestion, the Descent, I’d like to hear about your impressions and thoughts about Rosario Dawson’s characters decision and actions. More importantly I’d like to hear folks talk more about pushing this conversation forward versus debunking it quickly.

Chris Brown & Our Responses To Violence

cross posted from my Media Justice column

It would be an injustice to let this week go by without addressing the various forms of media that come into play surrounding Chris Brown. I’m not one who wants to write about him, and this is because there are so many layers to violence, abuse, healing, representations, narratives, and community responses that are at play with him that they can easily get ignored and others may read that as erasure.

For those of you who are not aware of what current event I’m referencing, visit the ABC website, watch the interview, and read what happened after Brown’s performance this week.

I’ve learned that sometimes the questions are more important than the answers. That is not to say that answers are not important, but asking questions and thinking them over and creating a response centered in healing that results in action is important and critical. Plus, we do a lot, A LOT, of hard work quietly. That’s what thinking and building may look like for some of us. Often answers stem from questions that are posed. So instead of trying to find answers, I’d like to ask some questions and have us think about a few things that are still at play surrounding Chris Brown.

Here are the main areas I’d like for us to question:

1. What timeline or deadline do folks have for healing? Is it different for celebrities or the wealthy (read folks who have access to care in specific ways)?
2. What does it say about our community(ies) when violence is so public?
3. Where are the voices, opinions, questions, and answers of young people?
4. What spaces and communities of healing and support do we create and are a part of establishing?
5. What type of power is connected to violence? How does that power shift?

For many folks, especially those of us who are healing, I think the first question is that there is no deadline or timeline to our healing. We may put it off for decades, yet that does not make the healing any less valid or significant. So I wonder why we think that healing is different for celebrities or the wealthy? I understand how the idea may be connected to class status and access. Yes, it may be easier for someone with more money and access to go to a Caribbean treatment facility versus doing work in their bathroom that is shared by more than two people, or to a basement of a building of worship. Sure, that trip and location sounds a lot more relaxing. However, the work that it takes to heal is no less different based on space and location.

Do we have stereotypes of celebrities and the wealthy that they can heal more quickly than those of us who do not have that status? Why is that? How may these stereotypes be connected to our own healing we do? Perhaps we need these stereotypes to help us heal and cope with our situation and experiences. Yet, what does it do to us when we allow for such us vs. them binaries to exist? How does it isolate us? See our healing as different from theirs?

When violence is public and represented in a particular way, what does that say about our communities? Are we normalizing certain types of violence? Is there complacency that some may become frustrated with? I’d argue that, from experience, sometimes that complacency is a part of the healing process. Sometimes it hurts too much to care. And in these situations it is important to find and have people/places to go to find comfort and to be reminded that our action, even lack of action, does have consequences and specific outcomes we must be aware of. This is when it is important to acknowledge there are various forms of healing and not to prioritize one over the other, as each of us is different.

Trying to find the voices, ideas, and answers of young people in such conversations on violence and media representations is not as much a challenge as it used to be. There are several youth who are creating their own media and posting videos on YouTube or using social media to share their perspectives. I also recognize that in me writing this article, I am also taking up space that could be occupied by youth perspectives. How does my work limit such inclusivity that I argue to want to create? There are times when I tell myself that writing one column a week versus monopolizing an entire virtual space is one thing. That providing an opportunity for folks to share their ideas in comments is part of this space that connect to a larger discussion.

Many of the pieces on Chris Brown in the past 24 hours have not been by youth. Why not?

I’m personally discovering that there are many folks who I have in my network who are defending Chris Brown. I didn’t think this would irritate me as much as it has. I mainly find irritation in their defending of Chris Brown because they identify as heterosexual women of Color, are physically and sexually attracted to Brown, and are raising children. I do realize this is specific to my community. There may be several similarities among many folks who find themselves in support of Brown as well, perhaps they are not teenage girls, perhaps they are adult men.

I’d like to be clear that a major part of my discomfort with the folks in my community sharing their support for him is how they are responsible for other people: their children. I’m also concerned because, like me, we are women of Color and a part of the same community of practice and healing. I realize that part of this discomfort and frustration is in my understanding and expectation of parents. There remain questions for me about how a parent can support a violent act of any sort upon another person’s child. Just as I do not want someone dictating if I should/not have a child I do not think I can dictate to a parent how to raise their child. I can provide my opinion if asked, support, resources, and tips to approaching such conversations. Yet, I realize that I am not going to misuse any power I have to tell that parent what they are doing wrong/right per my standards.

So then, how do some people, especially women of Color who may find themselves attracted to Brown, use their attraction and adoration to ignore and erase his history? Mind you, these are people who may not ever meet or speak with Brown. Yet they are still very much on #TeamBreezy. How may some folks be allowing their imagined physical/sexual connection with a celebrity to guide their stance on issues that affect our community every day? How may this impact the work we can do collectively? Are some folks choosing to remain in a position of oppression and violence?

As a result, I ask questions: What does it mean that we have parents who are supporting violence, abuse, assault, rape, and harming of others, of our communities? Can we really allow ourselves to be surprised to know that parents will support their children, even if theyallegedly raped a 11 year old girl and it was caught on video? Are we as educators prepared to work with the children and parents who share these ideas? How could we begin to prepare?

Also, can we please stop talking about “anger management” as the only solution? As my homegirl Sofia Quintero has said over and over again: anger management is not what is at issue among folks who are abusers. Such folks know how to manage their anger, they don’t act out at work often, nor in public, many times they wait until they are home or with someone in their family or who they have an intimate relationship/friendship with. So, Brown knows how to manage his anger, he did not act out on stage or with Robin Roberts who interviewed him. He waited until he was in a particular place to act out violently. He made a choice.

How are our choices in violence connected to power? I remember teaching an upper level women’s studies course and listening to a reggeaton song by Ivy Queen. The song was “La Abusadora.” One of the students shared how she believes, that for many marginalized and historically oppressed women, claiming some level of violence was one of the few forms of power they had. This has stuck with me for almost ten years. It struck me because I thought about the ways I have claimed violence as a form of power. How I have power in other ways now and have not had to claim violence as a form of power. What does it mean that power may be connected to violence because it may be the only form of power someone may have? Do we forget that the power we do have is not always guaranteed based on where we live and who we are?

Which leads me to ask what spaces of healing and support are we working to create? This past weekend was International Anti-Street Harassment Day. I became familiar with several different outlets and community events occurring all over the world. One such event featured media maker Nuala Cabral who I interviewed last year. Her media focuses on anti-street harassment and useses various forms of media to begin such conversations. She collaborated with several other folks to provide a live performance of her film “Walking Home” as well as participated in community rallies and demonstrations. You can see her documentation of these events at her blog.

Often folks believe that the only “real” way to heal is by seeing and working with folks trained in Western ways of healing and counseling. I know this may work for some folks and I know it may not work for others. As a result I’ve found myself in support of non-traditional and complimentary forms of healing and care. This may be found in circles of support, art therapy, walking, traveling, and doing spiritual work and meditation. All this to say that there is not only one way to heal. There is not one right way to heal. Let’s limit essentializing healing for ourselves, others, and even for celebrities. As I’ve shared before, I believe there is room for all of us to heal in the best and most nurturing and comfortable ways.

Lots of questions, not many answers. But asking the questions and talking about them, thinking about solutions and approaches, are important work too.

My American Idol Rant (Part 1)

cross posted from my Media Justice Column

Last year I wrote about how American Idol represents working class White communities in ways that we often do not always see. I appreciated some of these representations yet recognized the complexities and layers of how such representations harm and help us all.

While watching the new season of American Idol Wednesday night there was a trend that was rather disturbing to me: Steven Tyler hitting on young contestants. I want to be clear; I’m not as uncomfortable with him hitting on the young women who are over 18 years old, because at that point they are adults. What I am uncomfortable with is his comments to young women who are under 18, some as young as 15 and 16 years old.

Now, the comments are quite obvious, and if you watched like I did last night, you know what I am talking about. He made comments about the length of the skirt of one 16 year old young woman from the south who they chose to give a “golden ticket” so she could go to Hollywood. His comment to her was (and I’m paraphrasing) “wow, that skirt is covering just enough.” The young woman responds by saying she wanted to “appeal to the boys but still wanted to be a lady.” He made comments about the way almost all the young women looked, saying as he shared his decision that they were pretty, beautiful, cute prior to sharing what he thought about their voice and talent.

I want to be clear again: I know that in this “business” appearance does play a huge role. It is possible to mentor young entertainers to understand the difference between performance attire and when someone is using their power over you to make comments about your body and dress. I find Steven Tyler to be doing the latter.

What are most troubling are his co-judges: Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson. Neither of them have anything to say about his commentary, often inappropriate and borderline harassment. Dare I wonder if Paula were on she would perhaps pick up on these comments and speak out? Perhaps not, we’ll not really ever know, but right now I’m not impressed with the laughter JLo and Randy are offering to Tyler’s comments. I’m also not comfortable with them using their power over young people to perpetuate such comments on national television, a “family show” even. The one television show we know many youth watch simply from the numbers of votes.

I can’t help but see a connection to what Tyler is doing and what Regis Philbin did to Nicki Minaj when she was on the Regis & Kelly show a few months ago. Kelly did nothing while Regis groped Nicki. My homegirl Jaz wrote a great article dissecting all of the complexities and problems with this interaction.

Finally, it’s not so much only Tyler who is doing some inappropriate things. There are the young women, mostly who I read as over 18 years, who are attempting to appeal to Tyler as a rock star. They are assuming that because he is a rock star he will be attracted to them (and possibly have (unprotected) sex with them?) he will then agree to move them to the next level. The young women are not completely off target considering most of the young women who were moved forward were ones who Tyler found attractive in some way.

As we watch the rest of the episodes for this season, let’s hope I’m wrong and that this was just a first episode type of deal. If not, well, we are going to have a lot of material to start conversations on regarding sexual harassment, inappropriate comments, violence, sexualization, and power.

Media Justice Mash-Up: Rape, Violence, Poverty & Making Media

Cross posted from my Media Justice column

As the summer comes to a close and I prepare for teaching a new group of public intellectuals in my class, I’m reminded of the amazing work by the media makers I know and love. Here I’d like to share some of the musings, theorizing, and communities building that media makers in my network have been creating. I encourage you all to spend some time with each of the pieces that resonate with you and take some time to also read the comments section of each piece as they are wonderful additions to the conversations.

My homegirl Problem Chylde has begun to share her musings with us again. I’ve missed reading her writing on her own site (she has had guest blogging spots on feministe ). This past week she’s had two amazing pieces on her own blog, the first focuses on media, community and pop culture responses to the rape of the sister of Antoine Dodson. In her article titled “think twice” she writes:

think twice before you laugh at antoine dodson. i know everything is supposed to take a backseat to short-lived fame and exposure. but how would you feel if your sister was attacked by a rapist and people did nothing about it? officials laughed at you, police took their time coming to investigate, media crews didn’t arrive until you called them, and then your time on the news gets spoofed to entertain others instead of warn them. antoine’s taking his time in the spotlight in stride, and i think he’s doing it for kelly’s sake. i hope all the people laughing and singing “hide your kids, hide your wife” are writing all of the people in kelly’s community and state to do something about catching the rapist.

I pick this piece of hers first because I’ve seen this video of Antoine Dodson shared on Twitter and mostly on my Facebook among friends and other folks who found it hilarious. I admit that I was one of those people who first heard the story via this outlet and I did chuckle. At the same time I realized that this was a story of a community that was in distress. Will we laugh as we watch the images during this 5 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina? As Problem Chylde asks: “how loudly would you scream if you realized no one is truly safe?”

Problemchyle also wrote a piece on class, status, desire, and perception/stereotypes. Her piece called “poor people aren’t supposed to want nice things” is one I’m going to include on my class syllabus. She addresses several stereotypes about how we think about and work with working class and working poor communities, but also how we experience and our expectations of poverty. She shares:

However, if you take what little disposable income you have and buy sushi, you are doing wrong. Poor people do not want things like smartphones (you’re poor; who are you calling on a smartphone?), televisions (you’re poor; what do you need entertainment for?), nice cars (why wouldn’t you get a modest car to get around when you’re poor), or delicious food (do you know how much ramen you could have bought for the cost of that scone?). Poor people should not take any windfalls or nest eggs or scraped together pennies and expose themselves to luxuries. After all, isn’t that just a brutal reminder of how poor they are any other time? Why not just face the fact that poor is what you are, poor is what you shall be, and poor means that you cannot have nice things?

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have heard people say to me, friends, lovers, partners, and other poor people, that they hate seeing an expensive car sitting in the parking garage in a housing project. How ironic they find it that folks living in a housing project would have an entertainment system, delicious food to eat in their refrigerator, and clothing to wear that makes them proud of their body and who they are. I’ll admit when I hear folks say things such as this I have never spoken against it. I’ve asked “why” but never challenged them in the ways I knew I could. I see this piece as a call to action, as do many of the commenter who have echoed what she says and have shared some of their own testimonies about being poor.

My other homegirl, poet, activist, Cripchick who identifies as a “powerchair-roaring, young queer disabled woman of color,” sent me a tweet saying she wrote a piece just for me this week. Her piece “j.cole & hip hop as a form of youth media” discusses what J.Cole is doing while creating his form of media: Hip-Hop music. Cripchick writes:

having just signed to roc nation, j.cole is on the up and up. he is putting fayetteville on the map. the problem with cole going so hard for the ‘ville is that a lot of folks are up in arms about what it is that he is representing. (most of the voices being heard are white people. a few black community leaders are thrown in for validation.) my friends & i watch his video and we see youth of color taking over the city. claiming this place. recognizing ritual. understanding that j.cole had to leave fayetteville & the south but unlike everyone else, he came back. others see him emphasizing “blight” and fayetteville negatively.

A Fayetville resident, Cripchick has a perspective of her hometown that we as outsiders rarely get a chance to experience, consider, or hear. She shares how she understands and knows how some folks (outsiders to Hip-Hop culture and music also) may consume his media.

i went to two high school graduations this summer and j.cole got a shout out in both valedictorian speeches. if j. cole comes on anywhere (party, mall, festival, wherever), folks jump up. (young) people (of color), like me, are proud as hell of j. cole. i assume that anti-racist progressives i know will see the video in the same way — that cole did the right thing by shooting the video here in fayetteville and including cheerleaders and marching bands from the local HBCU & high school next to it — but they’re with the city: outraged and/or disgusted that this is what is being put out about fayetteville.

Cripchick shares three things she knows for sure, and this is just three reasons why I adore her. She says she believes “hip hop is a threat to dominant culture. it is one of the most powerful forms of media and people don’t want youth of color to have that power.” There is no way I can disagree with her about this, as someone who was born in the 70s, I still feel this, even if most of what I hear today is not what I would choose to purchase, but I see the power nonetheless. She also states “our idea around tone and appropriateness is rooted in white supremacy and class hierarchy.” Couldn’t say it better myself. And finally, one of my favorite things I have learned from having Cripchick in my life is the importance of this quote here “youth of color hardly have any (institutional) power. taking away our language is taking away one of the few things we have control over.” Embracing this ideology has added so much value to my life and to the work I do and how I examine media and language. This one sentence has so much truth.

On the truth tip, my other homegirl: bfp, who is an amazing activist, writer, and seeker of justice for all communities, wrote early on regarding the Rhianna and Eminem song “Love The Way You Lie.” She unapologetically is who she is which is why I adore her. The responses by many folks who do not often read her writing (for various reasons) were not all in support of her perspective on violence, relationships, sex and love. As a result she wrote three different pieces discussing her experiences and thoughts about how others were reading and responding to her words (I encourage you to visit her site as I want to honor her request of not sharing specific quotes). Her first untitled piece spoke about how exhausted she is, how she too is a survivor of violence, and how we continue to shape only small limited spaces for narratives of survivors of violence. What about all the other survivors? Her second untitled piece focused on how a larger readership and writership in the Internets were/are responding to her words and the video. She shares how feminism has hurt her and writes and as someone who has also been hurt, and continues to be hurt, by feminisms I know intimately what she writes about. Although some of our experiences are not the same, we share this similar pain and healing process. bfp then goes on to share her “non stressed out thoughts about eminem/rihana” where she asks “when is anybody going to talk about the intervention that rihanna/eminem just made as hip/hop/r&b type artists in a world that is notorious about supporting abuse against women?”

I have yet to read something where this occurs. If you know please share. I’d love to hear this conversation occur as a form of media making around sexual assault using this piece of media and music as a platform for social change around violence. If you do not already have bfp on your current reading list I highly suggest you include her on it immediately!

Finally, two pieces of media that have been created, and that I am a part of so they have a special place in my heart and thus receive a shameless plug: The Black Girl Project and HomegirlTV. The Black Girl Project was started by my homegirl, mami, activist, filmmaker, professor and all around dope person: Aiesha Turman. I have a interview with her coming up for the Media Makers Salon. Aiesha has started this project and now created a non-profit organization of which I am on the board. Our first premiere screening of her film is in Brooklyn this Friday. It is a documentary film that “portrays Black girls as the complex beings they are; not just the two sides of the coin we perpetuated in the media: victim or victimizer.” If you are interested in having the film screened in your community and/or area please get in touch with us via The Black Girl Project website! Below are two trailers for her film.

The Black Girl Project {teaser 2: electric boogaloo} from Aiesha Turman on Vimeo.

The Black Girl Project {teaser} from Aiesha Turman on Vimeo.

Finally, my homegirl, who I’ve mentioned before, Sofia Quintero, is creating one of her many amazing projects into an interactive communal form of media. She’s been thinking of HomegirlTV for a very long time and here is the trailer! (Yes, that’s me).

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sofia’s vision is one where she hopes people will send in questions and have the Homegirls share their suggestions on how to cope, work through, overcome an array of situations and issues. If you would like an invitation to join or to submit a query send an email to poderlatina@hotmail.com . This is a project I’m very honored and excited to be a part of as this is something that I wish I could have had when I was coming into my own identity. I hope those of you who work with youth or find yourselves needing some space to be affirmed join us!

Communal Responses To Violence: The Puerto Rican Day Parade Controversy

Cross posted from my RH Reality Check blog

I’ve been tweeting stories about the Puerto Rican Day Parade here in NYC for a few weeks now. The Parade is one of the largest events centered on Puerto Rican nationality and ethnic identity and pride in the city. People plan for the event all year, and some even travel across the country to attend. Although I have only intentionally attended one time, as I’ve become claustrophobic as I’ve aged, I can say that many community members find the event important to the transmission of our cultural practices and is considered a rite of passage for many.

The most recent story that has been at the center of discussing the Parade this year is the chosen “godfather,” actor, singer and model Osvaldo Rios. Huge controversy surrounds his presence at the Parade because of his history of violence against women. This controversy began back in May of this year when the announcement was made. In 2004 Rios spent 3 months in a Puerto Rican prison for abusing his partner at the time. Part of the controversy that has begun was when council member in Spanish Harlem Melissa Mark-Viverito stated:

"It's not a positive role model for my people, for my community and for our children. I personally will not march in the parade and I will ask other elected officials to consider doing the same thing.” Not everyone agreed with Mark-Viverito and believed that people “deserve second chances.”

Following Mark-Viverito’s statements, the Marshal for the Parade, Chicago Rep. Luis Gutierrez quit and Verizon pulled its sponsorship earlier this week, the first full week of June. This has resulted in Rios making a decision about his presence and participation at the Parade. Rios recently announced he has chosen to not attend the Parade. He is quoted in the NY Daily News as saying:

"After discussing this issue with my wife, my children and Congresswoman Nydia Velazquez, to whom I'm grateful for her wise words, my family and I have decided ... not to attend the parade and promote the unity and the consensus between the Puerto Rican people at such a great event."

I have to admit that I am one of the people who believe this is a good decision to not have Rios be the “godfather” at the Parade, this year or any year for that matter. I’m proud to have read that several representatives and sponsors recognize that women’s bodies, Latina bodies, Puerto Rican women’s bodies, Caribbean women’s bodies, LatiNegra bodies are important. That the abuses our bodies endure are not ones that can be easily rectified. That our bodies have endured so much already, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and that our lives matter too. I hope this will be an opportunity for community members to consider a communal response to ending violence within our communities. I know I will be using this story and other forms of media in my classroom this summer and next semester as I discuss rape, sexual assault, and violence.

UPDATE: It has recently been announced that singer Marc Anthony is the new "godfather" of the parade.