When I went to Arizona the first time this year in February to see my homegirl Elena, we went to the Heard Museum's exhibit of Cathy "The Crafty Chica" Murillo's installation. It was one of the highlights of my trip. While we were at the Heard Museum we went to the gift shop and both purchased a Love Shrine.
It's taken me all this time to kinda finish my Love Shrine. I think I've included a lot of the things I want to represent, but I don't feel as if it is complete just yet. I'm not sure what else is missing, but I know something is. So, here's what the steps were and the somewhat final project:
Here's what the box looks like! You can purchase your own online.
This is what comes in the box. I added some ribbon and extra fun things that I had in my apartment to play around.
Here's what my Love Shrine currently looks like.
Here's some detail I'm especially excited and proud of, a Lion carrying a flag of Amor.
Here's the center which has a 3-D burning heart and the mermaid at the corner.
Here's the inside of the right hand corner with a mermaid holding a sign that says "you've got love."
This entry is part of a contest to win a new computer by LatISM. I don’t plan to keep the computer for myself but give it to someone in need whom I mention below. The contest is based on number of views, comments (so please leave one!), retweeting, and content.
I wouldn’t be here if it were not for social media. By “here” I mean writing in this space at this moment sharing this story. I remember a world where there were no computers, video games, cell phones, or answering machines. I remember a world where what we said we would do we actually did and that was our follow-through. The world wasn’t so lonely back then. Today, it’s a different story.
Today that follow-through has shifted. Someone shows his/her ability to be efficient and competent by simply sending an email. People get jobs without ever meeting their colleagues. Art is created, ideas are shared, love is transmitted, rituals are made, and change is created. Yet, that’s only if you have a computer, access to one, know how to use it, have someone show you how to use it, or the ability to read and write.
For all the things we love about social media, we as Latinos, LatiNegros, Caribeños cannot forget that we still need to do work that reaches all of us. I struggle with this often. Do I continue to write on this blog? Do I work to create something new in social media? Do I give into “big brother” aka facebook? How do I negotiate the space I occupy within this social median so that I can reach the most people possible?
Many of you know I’m a sexologist. What some of you don’t know is that social media saved my life! I’ve written about what I wanted for this year and without social media I would not have achieved what I did thus far.
First, I began to write. I began to write in this space that is my own and that I share with the world. I’ve received comments and visitors from all over the world. I am honored and continue to be each day.
I’ve reconnected with Erika Lopez, who I met over 5 years ago and we only kept in touch via email. But on facebook, twitter, cell phones, and google chat/voice we’ve created amazing frameworks for some of the most valuable, on the vanguard, art that this world has ever seen! Laughing, fighting, and debating with Erika has lifted me in ways I cannot put into words.
I’ve connected with Maegan La Mamita Mala Ortiz, whose poetry and writings speak to the center of my desire/action/efforts for libertad. Meeting her for the first time on a hot sunny day at the gates of the Catholic college I taught a women’s studies class at this semester is one of the highlights of my summer. Watching her perform parts of her poetry for my students and I was stunning! She reminds me everyday that I am a fierce media maker.
When George Urban Jibaro Torres put me on his Top 25 Latinos To Follow On Twitter I literally blew up! Overnight, no joke! He then had me on Radio Capicu! to discuss sexuality and relationships and people are still talking about that show today! George has been an amazing mentor for me in figuring out how to navigate all of the social media and helping me make decisions about where and how to best help Latinos learn, understand, and enjoy their sexuality.
When my homeboy Nezua started to follow me I got goose skin. I wish I knew who told him to add me on his twitter list, but I’m glad they did! Nezua has spent hours writing and talking with me about media, art, latinidad, sexuality, parenting, relationships, and things that make us both nostalgic. He facilitates this relationship that I’m struggling to have with technology and reminds me it’s all about the light!
Sofia Quintero got on twitter and it was ova! We’ve talked nonstop about media, popular culture, sex, hip hop, relationships, and shamelessly plugging one another left and right!
I’ve found authors and poets like Charlie Vasquez and bfp. I’ve found the woman that made me say “I want that kind of power when I walk into a room” Vanessa del Rio. I connected with Kathy CraftyChica Cano-Murillo! And no story is complete without the mention of my TwitterPutas. You know who you are! We have on another’s back, we love when we are loved, we support, inspire, encourage one another in all things sexy! What better space for a debacle?
So you see, in many ways social media has saved my life. I know I am not alone. Yet, I know how lonely it can get had I not had these people in my life, at my fingertips, able to talk with me in “real time.” There is a TwitterPuta who is unplugged because her computer is all kinds of jacked up. Who I can only talk to after 9pm because that’s when both of our daytime minutes won’t be used, who is someone I know loves me and you in ways we have yet to imagine. If I win this contest, and I pray to all the orishas, goddesses, gods and spirits that I do, this computer goes directly to her so that she can stay “plugged in” and send us her love, support, guidance, wisdom, and Twitterputeando on a regular basis! This one is for Sparkle.
Mira gente, this week's Sunday Night Common Sense was just as much for me as it was for you! I'm struggling. My heart broke and I'm quickly putting the pieces back together and happy doing it this time around! In between talking with my homegirls Erika Lopez and dopegirlfresh and ME, I realized a thank you letter is what I will write to my last/past/ex/lover. As Erika said to me last night, I did dodge a bullet with this one!
Today I've got the courage up to work on the Crafty Chica Love Shrine I purchased on my trip to Arizona in February! Yes, the box has been looking at me for that long. It's time. So I'll work on my Love Shrine, when I'm done I'll post the pictures and share the process. Just so you know, I'm also reading this book to review for my editor which definitely speaks to the space I'm in right now!
In the meantime, here are some links that really helped me reflect and challenged me this week:
My man Marty Klein is at it again! His latest article Oprah: Anti-Vagina, Anti-Sex (which was published again this week) came off a bit harsh at first as someone who believes that acupuncture, massage, ritual, and other non-traditional medications and practices DO work for many people, he's on point (as usual) with O's discomfort on the topic. Check it out and tell me what you think!
My article on the Top Sexiest Songs (to get it on to) was published with audio! Which reminded me of how fierce the film Amores Perros is (and can't believe it's almost 10 years old!) and how this song is one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack!
Elena picked me up from the Sex Conference on Friday and we went straight to the Heard Museum to hear a panel on art, gender, and sexuality. I was just really excited to hear women of Color speak on these topics, especially from after the last session I attended at the conference. I was also super excited to hear the Crafty Chica. Some of you may not know this but there are some folks who are just famous to me, she is one of them, so when I saw her walk in I got all uber nervous and chickened out on talking to her! For those of you who have received my gifts of candles, it was her book that inspired such art!
There was the gorgeous DJ Brazillia spinning great music prior to the talk. I saw my favorite Mexicans who I had not seen in years! And we took our seats for the presentation. I rather not hash out the specific discussion of the panel, but I do want to add that Crafty Chica was the best on the panel (of only 2 women of Color out of the 5 women). I asked a question about how women can control the gaze and make choices to engage their sexuality through performing their gender expression in a particular way and two outspoken panelists were very condescending in ways that I wish I could forget from my days as a graduate student in a Women’s Studies program.
They argued that women can not control the gaze when working in particular spaces. I found this ironic for second wave feminists to state since choice and agency are at the heart of that time period. They tried to “school” me, but what they really did was misunderstand what my question was. When I didn’t back down, and told them that I’m asking about “next steps” from the “not controlling the gaze” to a space where women have choice and agency, then what? Can they speak more about that? Only the Crafty Chica did.
What does it mean that in a space devoted to this topic, a field of which I’ve been an active part of for over a decade, two panelists can so comfortably tell me I’m wrong and do not know what I speak of? What does it say about them, as women, as artists, that they cannot allow themselves to imagine a space where women do and can have such choice and agency?
After the session my hermanos y hermanas said they “understood my question” and that it was a “good” question. As if I were a magnet, two White women approached me and said they agreed with what I had to say, that they appreciated it, and wanted to engage me more. I shared what I wrote above. I also wondered to myself why they hadn’t said these things within the group versus with just me on the side. To be fair, one woman had spoken briefly about her courtship practices, but at the time I could not see the connection to my query.
This always seems to happen to me. Folks approach me after the conversation is over to tell me they agree with me. They appreciate my comment. They like my perspective. Yet that support, encouragement, community is not there the moment shit hits the fan and I get all the backlash. Does it matter that people approach me after the verbal lashing?
