You Can't Play with My Yo Yo!

at dinner or something these past few days w/@dopegirlfresh we were talking about pussy carols (a "pussy carol" is a term we came up with on the beach of Far Rockaway last summer w/@dopegirlfresh which are odes to vulvas) and hip hop. well, she mentioned yo-yo’s first single w/ice cube in 1991. i had mentioned that at the time i didn’t consider it a pussy carol, but today she was def talking abt not having folks fuck w/her not just b/c she’s not having it but b/c her “yo yo” could def be her body, self-determination, pleasure, sexuality, and setting her own boundaries, etc.

now, it was 1991 so before you listen and project your 2013 ish onto this joint, keep in mind, what she’s talking about in hip hop is very specific and although i’m not 100% in love w/her calling folks “ho” and what can be read as her policing other Black women’s bodies, the reasons behind that particular stance are not 100% exactly the same to what folks discuss today. similarities yes, for sure! i def embrace her definition of “lady” and how she complicates and embraces/redefines that term for many Black women. This was the femme i was living in the early 90s!
i mean peep the video below the lyrics are after and i bolded the sex-pos parts i embrace and adore about this JAM!

[Yo-Yo]
Its me, the brand new intelligent black woman Y-O-Y-O
Which is Yo-Yo, but I’m not to be played
Like I was made by matell
But this Yo-Yo is made by woman and male
I rhyme about uprights upliftin the woman
For that are superior to handle by any male
Any time, any rhyme, any flow, and any show
And if you ask my producers that we fly and you know

[Chorus: Ice Cube]
You can’t play with my Yo-Yo
“Don’t try to play me out, don’t try to play me out”

[Verse 1]
My name is Yo-Yo, I’m not a ho
I like to flow so swift, its got to be a gift
So yo, let the beat lift, as I rip and rhyme
And rap and slap all the girls who came to dap
To the fact I get the 8-ball often
The earrings I wear are called dophins
Check the booty, yo its kinda soft and
If you touch, you livin in a coffin(word to mother)
I’m in the 90s, your still in the 80s right
I rock the mic, they say I’m not lady like
But I’ma lady, who will pull a stunt though
I kill suckas, and even hit the block
So what you wanna do?
Ya must play it wrong
Cause to me, you simply can’t get none
You wetter, then a hotter ho in snow
Tell em Ice Cube,
(Ice Cube)
No, you can’t play with my Yo-Yo
Suckas

[Ice Cube]
Whats yo name baby?

[Verse 2]
Thats right, my name is Yo-Yo, but know I’m not a dunkin
As I rap, chilly chill bringin the funk and
I steal yo man, as if he is a hawk and
He’ll call me baby, yo, or even pumpkin
I may be buttercup, or even Ms.Yo
We had dinner, and know we drinkin Cisco
Hit the slow jams, its gettin cosy
Your home alone, so now you gettin nosy
Your kinda young, so of course you had to call rhw place
Hang up in my face, its a sad case
So who ya man dippin the dollars, what
Yup, for puttin lipstick on his collar
At home, hes gotta listen to ya holla
But he’ll slap ya, and sock ya, so why bother?
But if you come knockin at my do’(ay yo)
I’ll smoke you, tell em Ice
(Ice Cube)
You can’t play wit my Yo-Yo, sucka

[Chorus: x2]

[Ice Cube]
Fool, 1990 and stand sucka free, yeah
Tell em whats up

[Yo-Yo Rhyming Over Females Voice As She Did Earlier In The Song]
Yo, I hope you realize one day
That ya week is Monday threw Sunday
So listen to my Y-O, heres my bio
And next to me, ha, your not fly yo
Ya lack skills to be a woman thats black
Fake hair in the back, plus green contacts
Yo-Yo, is just tryna to stop ya
Because the world ain’t a big soap opera
It only takes one punch to drop ya
And then the I.B.W.C.* will come mob ya
But no, I’m not livin like that first
Although I pack, a real small gat in my purse(right, right)
But no, its not to cause corruptions
Just to fight back on the structions
Just thought you wanna know about the Y-O-Y-O
Yo, should I tell em Ice
(Ice Cube)
They know what time it is

[Chorus: x2]

[Ice Cube]
Yo-Yo, the brand new intelligent black lady
Stompin to the 90s!
For all y’all suckas
Aye Jinx, I knew they couldn’t fade it
You Can’t play wit my Yo-Yo

[Verse 3]*
The simple to a metaphor, make someone to yell on
To keep it at a latest while they’re yellin, “more, more!”
I am very versatile, changin my ways to different styles
Knowledge is the key, expense is for my background
Label me as a woman, and sometimes I feel imperial
Follow me on the hands of time, makes no man superior
Should we jam and take the stand, and dis back all the
Men who know no more the slang, slang
And thinks wit his ding-a-ling?
I think its time that we defeat
And stand on our on two feet
If we wanna live wit justice and harmony
How many more rounds must I go
In order to let my people know
Times were hard, things have changed
“Don’t try to play me out”


lyrics from here (and i had to edit b/c they were off! http://www.lyricsmania.com/you_cant_play_with_my_yo-yo_lyrics_yo_yo.html

*IBWC stands for “Intelligent Black Women’s Coalition” whatchu’all know about THAT?!
Also, Ice Cube wrote (most of) this song. So yeah, let that marinate.

Meet A Black Sexologist: Tracie Gilbert

I'm happy to introduce and feature some amazing Black Sexologists for Black History Month (and always because it's always BHM here and atThe LatiNegr@s Project!) This month I will be featuring amazing Black women in the sexuality and sexology field. Each woman featured is also a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN), an amazing space that has given us a connection to one another and ways to network.

Each woman featured is not only an amazing provider, educator, therapist, and/or activist, but they are also a part of the WOCSHN Fundraising effort to raise funds to attend AASECT conference this year where we will present our original research and findings. Please consider donating if you can and spreading the word so we can meet our goal!

Please meet Tracie Gilbert

Why are you in the field? What brought you to this field?

GREAT question…I came to this field after being interested in African American adolescent identity development, and finding all this research about their negative sexual outcomes. I originally thought about how this may affect the notion of blackness (read: black as lascivious, immoral, savage), but began to shift my notions a bit to think about Black sexuality as a whole—specifically the question of “What does it mean to be Black and sexual in the 21^st Century?” At this point, my main interest is in helping answer this question, and make sure that answer is as life-affirming as possible.

What work do you do, what do you hope to shift/change/work on?

Currently I’m a full-time doctoral student in human sexuality, and work as a health resource center coordinator in Southwest Philadelphia, with high school students. What I’d like to do ultimately is a number of different things: working at an HBCU as an academic faculty member is top on my list, followed by doing work in the community as an independent workshop leader/consultant/counselor, etc. I am specifically interested in advancing the field of Black sexology, really helping bring new light to current ways of viewing sexuality, and—again—that notion of what it really means to be sexual. African-centered epistemologies and philosophies around sexuality do not get real voice in the sexology discipline; the great news about that though is the flexibility we have in introducing new ideas and frameworks to examine the problems and experiences people have, which I think is KEY for developing new ways to help people live and, by extension, have better sex lives.

  Ideas for future work for Black Women in this field:

 Create more networks, get more credentialing that is specifically in Sexology/Human Sexuality, INTRODUCE MORE SEXOLOGY THEORY…and recruit more sexologists, especially Black men, and ESPECIALLY those [Black men] who identify as heterosexual!!!

 Any additional items to share?

  I am truly thankful the Universe brought me to this field. It’s not something I would’ve ever thought about growing up, but I know that’s only because I knew nothing about it. So much in the way of research and practice (both education and clinical work) happens ABOUT Black and other communities of color in this field; very LITTLE, however, includes or even considers our voices, history, or epistemologies in the theoretical framework. THIS is a problem that must be addressed if we are ever to truly move forward in making sexuality a consistently GREAT thing to do/be in our communities.

Meet a Black Sexologist: Nicole Clark

I'm happy to introduce and feature some amazing Black Sexologists for Black History Month (and always because it's always BHM here and at The LatiNegr@s Project!) This month I will be featuring amazing Black women in the sexuality and sexology field. Each woman featured is also a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN), an amazing space that has given us a connection to one another and ways to network.

Each woman featured is not only an amazing provider, educator, therapist, and/or activist, but they are also a part of the WOCSHN Fundraising effort to raise funds to attend AASECT conference this year where we will present our original research and findings. Please consider donating if you can and spreading the word so we can meet our goal!

 Please meet Nicole Clark

Why you are in the field, what brought you to the field?

I'm in the sexual and reproductive health field based on personal experience and the overall curiosity to know how a variety of factors (upbringing, physical environment, SES, race, gender, etc.) influence sexual decision making. My personal experiences stem from conversations (or lack of) that I had about sex, sexuality, and relationships with my mother. While it was easier for my mother to focus on having discussions on teen pregnancy, I realized as an adult that we never had an actual conversation about sex and sexuality. I, like many others, had to sit through inaccurate and often boring sex ed classes that were focused too much on abstaining for religious reasons and not on the human need to connect with others in an intimate way and to know how your body works. So, I set out to focus on young people getting the most accurate information on their sexual health as possible (and to help adults have those intimate conversations).

What work do you do, what do you hope to shift/change/work on?
 
My mission is to improve the health and loves of women and girls of color by infusing my passion and creativity through workshops, speaking engagements, social media, research, program evaluation, and writing. My hope is to empower women and girls of color to know what's happening with their sexual and reproductive health, know how to raise their voices against policies that seek to limit their power over their sexual and reproductive health, and to share this information with their peers.

Ideas of future work for Black women in the field (esp Black sexologists)?
 
An idea for future work for Black women in the sexuality field is to really focus on the power of storytelling, as a way to connect young women of color to the older generation. While times may have changed, there are many experiences that connect all of us. Together, we can develop empowering ways to change the conversation that can present us in a better light and will enable us to have a deeper understanding on our bodies and how we express our sexualities.

Follow Nicole's work on her personal website.

Meet A Black Sexologists: De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson

I'm happy to introduce and feature some amazing Black Sexologists for Black History Month (and always because it's always BHM here and at The LatiNegr@s Project!) This month I will be featuring amazing Black women in the sexuality and sexology field. Each woman featured is also a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN), an amazing space that has given us a connection to one another and ways to network.

Each woman featured is not only an amazing provider, educator, therapist, and/or activist, but they are also a part of the WOCSHN Fundraising effort to raise funds to attend AASECT conference this year where we will present our original research and findings. Please consider donating if you can and spreading the word so we can meet our goal!

Please meet De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson

Why you are in the field, what brought you to the field?

My mother always talked to my older sister and me about sex and sexuality. There wasn’t one big conversation where she talked about the birds and the bees, but whenever she sensed we had questions or concerns, she always made herself available and tried to help us understand and appreciate our own sexuality. As a psychology and later social work major at Saint Louis University, a good friend introduced the idea of sex therapy to me as I was sharing my plans to go into marriage and family therapy. Upon further investigation, I realized the field of sexuality needed new varied voices that could not only speak to our own cultural experiences, but bring that appreciation of diversity to a greater audience. And so after yet another talk with my mom, who was nothing but supportive, I decided to pursue a certification in sex therapy. As I told her, my goal is to help people have great sex and come to appreciate and accept themselves as whole persons.

What work do you do, what do you hope to shift/change/work on?

I currently provide individual and couples therapy to a variety of clients. Also, I conduct monthly workshops that focus on issues of sexuality within the context of Christianity. My goal is to provide education and assist in healing so that people can understand the amazing gift of sexuality instead of feeling restricted in its expression.

Ideas of future work for Black women in the field (esp Black sexologists)

I am inspired daily by the work of those in the WOCSHN. Seeing them move forward in advocacy and education propels me to do better. However, we are still a very small minority within the field of sexuality. This may sound simple, but I think it’s important that we continue our work, support each other, and find new ways for our voices to be heard. The fact that so many people of color are presenting at this year’s AASECT conference excites me. This is, I believe, a step in the right direction. We have to keep pressing and, of course, lifting each other as we climb higher.

Anything else you want to add?

At the end of this month, I will be hosting a workshop titled, “Good Girls DON’T Do That! …Or Do They” with my good friend who introduced me to the idea of sex therapy. You can find more information here. Also, I blog at Sex For The Saints and you can find my personal profile at about.mehttp://about.me/d.blaylockjohnson.

Please support the work of Black sexologists and consider a donation or sharing information about WOCSHN fundraising efforts.

National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: Including LatiNegr@s, Mi Testimonio

Today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day and I'm proud to ensure that LatiNegr@s are included! It's important to know your HIV status and right now getting tested is the only way to know for sure. Below is a video with several Black women sharing why getting tested is important. After that video is my story of getting tested.




My last HIV test was at the Black Girl Project Sisterhood Summit (if you don't know about the Black Girl Project you are probably a new reader to this space as I've been a board member for several years! Go buy one of our fantastic t-shirts!) There were several folks providing testing to the young Black women present (and yes there were LatiNegr@s present!). It was an amazing day filled with so much knowledge, affirmation, laughter, and food!

I had the same partner for 3 years and knew my test would be the same outcome as the tests I'd had over the years: negative. At the same time, I was still scared. The anxiety that comes with getting tested, even if you are sure of the results as I was, is real. What if the test is not 100%, what if I get the test that is a "false positive," what if questions were present. I share this because this may be a common experience for many.

The fact that I was committed to getting tested, to having the young Black women see me get tested too, alongside them, was important to me. Yes, we have made different decisions, but we share a common goal in wanting to know our HIV status and get tested. In that moment, the young Black women and I were having a shared experience. We understood one another in a way that is often forgotten among intergenerational interactions. It was a moment that I was very deeply proud to have had.

I also knew I was surrounded by other Black women who love and adore me and would be present with me if I needed them in any capacity (that's right! if something happens to me I will be missed, just like you reading here!). We have one another's backs. After I answered some questions, completed the consent forms, and had my mucus membranes in my mouth swabbed I waited about 20 minutes for my results. I took a lot of deep cleansing breaths. I talked with the other young Black women waiting for their results. I was happy, and anxious.

When I received my test results they were negative. I was relieved. I was given the usual package of condoms and dental damns and lube and a form. That evening I shared with my partner that I had received an HIV test and shared the results. This was not our first conversation together about the topic, but I know it was their first conversation about HIV with a partner in their entire life!

::in my Arrested Development "Everyday People"voice:: The moral of the story is many people of Color don't know their status and are still not discussing HIV transmission with their partners. As someone in their mid-30s who is in the sexuality field, I talk about HIV often. It is rare that I meet a potential partner who is as comfortable as I am in discussing HIV transmission, testing, and protections. I'm often the one who has the "paperwork" to show I'm not making things up and I want to change that experience. I'd love it if the people I come into contact with know their status, have the paperwork, and pride to share that they too get tested on a regular basis.

You reading this, you are important. You are important and a contributing member of your communities. You matter and you are valued. LatiNegr@s that includes you too! For all of these reasons and more get tested to know your status. You are not alone, ever!

February Giveaway!

It's been a while since I offered a giveaway and I'd like to do it again (and again and again!). This year I'm proud to offer a FREE 2013 Sylvia Rivera Law Project Calendar! This calendar I have in my home as one of my best friends gave it to me as a gift for the end of the year. This friend is one of the greatest loves of my life and in their purchasing the calendar for me they accidentally purchased two so I received two calendars.

I'd like to offer the second to one of my amazing readers. Here's information about the calendar:

Designed to support the ongoing work of SRLP and to extend the reach of SRLP’s members who are incarcerated, artist Caroline Paquita has been hard at work over the past few months creating SRLP’s very first calendar!  This beautiful 12 month calendar showcases the artwork of trans, gender non conforming, intersex community members and allies who are locked away in New York state detention facilities.  It also includes trans history throughout, honoring those like Sylvia Rivera who never stopped fighting for us.

Practical. Radical. Informational. Historical.

 The calendar retails for $15 and will be shipped via media mail from NYC. If you don't know about the Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) here's part of their mission statement (and here's where you can purchase more of their merchandise!): 

The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine their gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination, or violence.

TO ENTER: leave a comment sharing a love story, no matter how brief or about anything you choose (i.e. love of your life, love of life, love of others, work, art, etc.). Make sure you leave an email address where I can contact you if you are the winner to get your snail mail address!

TIMELINE: Selection will be made on Friday February 15, 2013.

TO WIN: I'll select a random number (i.e. first person to leave a comment is person 1 and so forth).
Spread the word!

LatiNegr@s & The 40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

[originally published at The LatiNegr@s Project]


This week marked the 40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the supreme court decision that made abortion legal in the US. In much of the coverage around this anniversary there has been a lot of discussion regarding Latin@s and Black men and women*.  What is missing is the inclusion and narratives of LatiNegr@s. 


As readers know LatiNegr@s are both ethnically Latin@ and racially Black. Our experiences matter and must also be included. Our experiences may very well be similar to Latin@s of any racial group and racially Black people as well. However, we also have specific experiences because we are both. 

The National Latina Institute for Reproductive Health has data and a focus on abortion access.  They also have a new project Yo Te Apoyo with a video discussing how to support a friend who is terminating a pregnancy. Unfortunately, it seems there is only one LatiNegr@ featured. This is a great example of inclusion, and I expect to see more of us included on a regular basis and in more numbers. However, I’m not sure how NLIRH has included LatiNegr@s in their past research. It’s safe to say we are rarely (if ever) featured in a headline and often discussed as only Latin@.


This is a similar approach we see in spaces focusing on Black women as well. Rarely do we see a ethnic breakdown of the racially Black women featured. Earlier this week Dani McClain published an article at Ebony.com asking why Black women are not represented in conversations about abortion and why we don’t share our stories. McClain examined the videos folks published for the 1 in 3 campaign and wrote: “Out of the 31 moving, intimate videos posted online, four appear to feature Black women.” 

Although it “appears” to only feature 4 Black women, McClain has excluded the voices of LatiNegr@s. Perhaps the appearance of a Black woman McClain is seeking is very specific to certain characteristics such as skin color only because she did not include this LatiNegra’s story (yes that’s me, the author). McClain’s question of why Black women are not represented or sharing their stories of abortion is valid and important. I’d like to take her question a step further and ask why are the experiences and narratives of LatiNegr@s not represented (yet)?

The primary issue is that we are not included. Either we are discussed only as Latin@s or only as Black people and rarely as both. Ignoring this connection/complexity is a form of erasure and silencing. We will no longer be silent or ignored! We will hold folks accountable for excluding us and support them in ensuring their representations are inclusive. If you are interested in sharing your story as a LatiNegr@ with the NLIRH Yo Te Apolyo project learn how to do so here. 

If you know of research and projects that include us please share them!


*The terms wo/man are in reference to gender and not sex assigned at birth (SAAB). As a result, abortion is a topic that may impact people of all genders and not only folks whose SAAB is female or intersex. For these reasons the @ sign will be used to recognize gender and terms wo/man will both be used. For more information about how the @ sign is used read here.

Interested in training to be a sex educator? In NJ or NY?

Rutgers University’s ANSWER Program is now accepting applicants for its TISHE (Training Institute in Sexual Health Education). TISHE is a week-long, annual residential training that transforms participants into the most effective, powerful sexuality educators they can be. This year’s TISHE will take place on August 4-9. See their website here for more information.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Find out more about how you can work with youth in your community around these topics and check out this video created by youth about these topics.