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Facebook Share Text: “Young
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Twitter: “The
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It contains media how to’s, the press release, an FAQ on NYHAAD, and
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Final note: The website is up and running,
and Sulava already sent out a note for comments, but if there’s anything
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If you have any questions as it relates to
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Additionally, we encourage you to send any content or resources you
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The documentary film Let’s Talk About Sex , as many of you know, will have its cable television debut this Sunday at ten pm on TLC. I had the pleasure of watching a screening of the film on Tuesday evening in NYC and sit on a panel with director James Houston. Here’s what we discussed together and with the participants who watched the film with us (don’t worry - I won't give any spoilers for those of you who have not seen the film yet and are waiting for April 9).
About an hour in length, the film Let’s Talk About Sex examines US ideas on sex and sexuality, with a focus on comprehensive sexuality, youth and provides opportunities for parents to hear from young people what they need when it comes to such conversations.
The screening was hosted by Miss Kings County 2011, Carmen B. Mendoza, whose platform is de-stigmatizing getting tested for HIV. I met Carmen in December of 2010 after she won the title and we hit it off! Her platform is important and reaches communities that many don’t reach out to in such settings. She’s a media maker, so look out for an upcoming Media Maker’s Salon with her soon!
There was a full house for the free screening and it included folks of various ages from all over NYC. Many of the folks present were in their early 20s and really connected to the film, and had great call and response as we watched. There were lots of laughs, some for comedic reasons, others out of shock, and there were some gasps. After the film, director James Houston and I sat on a panel to discuss the film and topics that came up in further detail.
One of the first conversations was about the goals James had for creating the film. He shared his desires to examine how his socialization as an Australian man who has lived in different parts of the world, and now in NYC, was different from what he was discovering US teens experience. Many of those were represented in the film, and he’s an advocate for encouraging parents and youth to push for comprehensive sexuality education. Research shows a majority of US communities want comprehensive sex ed, but a loud minority are monopolizing those conversations.
Participants asked about how audiences have responded to the film and James has shared that many folks enjoy the film. I agree that the film is accessible and easy to incorporate into a 50-minute class. The graphics and images are represented in ways that many people can understand. He shared that folks have provided their own experiences with education and religion after screenings, that parents have thanked him for encouraging and sparking conversation with their youth, and that teachers find the film a resource to use with students and their parents.
We were asked about the impact of religion on approaches to decreasing teenage pregnancy, HIV infection, and STIs. Houston shared that the Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice have been supporters of the film, and that when he went to visit specific communities that are using faith-based communities to discuss sexual health and reproduction, he found that there is a lot of work to still do. I think many of us agree that communities of faith are essential in playing a role in helping support comprehensive sexuality education. Many communities have begun to have important discussions around HIV with their members and are at the forefront of helping provide education and support to folks who are living positive and those who want to stay HIV negative.
Another question asked if James considered including a young person who had chosen to abstain from sex and what their experiences were. James shared that he did go to a camp in the Midwest to document the curriculum and activities but there was “not a lot going on if you know what I mean.” He also talked about how the term “abstinence” is such a loaded term that is filled with morality and judgment. This is one of the challenges to talking about abstinence in the US.
I then shared how young people I’ve worked with who have survived abstinence education know that when I ask questions such as “what are some ways to make sure you remain HIV negative” the expected response is to abstain from sex and sexual activity/behaviors. They have been socialized to know this is the “right” answer. Yet when I ask them “what does abstinence mean,” I get several different responses at the same time. I have realized that young people define abstinence differently even when they have the same form of abstinence education. This creates a new challenge and a new dialogue that we must have with young (and older) people. We have to help them decide what abstinence means for them, versus giving them our own definitions. For some folks I have learned abstinence means waiting until marriage to have sex; others believe it means not having any vaginal penetration but anal and/or oral sex is abstaining. There is a range, and diverse perspectives. I’ve encouraged youth I work with to define what abstinence means for them and make sure they are clear with their partners and that their partners share and understand their definition.
Another question was on why there is such a delay/lag in the US towards comprehensive sexuality education. James shared that he believes there is so much fear around sex and sexuality that is not seen in other parts of the world. This fear impacts a lot of our daily lives from conversations from birth to conversations as adults. He gave specific examples from the film (which I won’t share because they could be spoilers) to support his perspective. I expanded on that and shared that there is a huge illusion of power and control many parents and adults think they have over the choices and bodies of young people. This is a perfect example of how we misuse power in this society and use power over people versus power with them.
One of the last questions from the audience was from a teacher who wanted to use this film with her students, but made the point that many parents from working class and working poor communities are not present or able to have such conversations with their youth. As part of James’ argument for comprehensive sexuality education, he encourages people to mobilize their communities toward supporting such forms of education. The challenges do exist and I shared how we have to be cautious of our power as educators, as people who are educated in specific ways (i.e. college and higher education) when working in communities of which we are not members. We need to make sure that what we are bringing to those communities in which we are outsiders, are what the community desires. If it is not what the community wants then it is really us forcing our agenda onto them and telling them what to do. I gave the example that sometimes when we assume a family doesn’t talk over a meal it may be because that family can’t afford food, and those are larger issues we need to recognize and work to eliminate before working on others. In addition, I shared how comprehensive sexuality education may not reach all youth, especially those in the foster care system where their guardian is the State or youth who are already living HIV positive.
That was only a half hour of discussion and we covered a lot! If you are interested in hosting a screening of the film, or obtaining a copy for yourself, check out the film website, join theFacebook Page or order your copy online.
The data does not mention if transgender or gender non-conforming people were included. As a result, I am assuming they were not and any discussion based on gender is not inclusive of all communities and thus may not give a complete picture for all youth in this age group.
Some of the findings include an increase in youth waiting to have a first sexual encounter. This increase comes from comparing data obtained in 2002. The report states that in 2002 22% of young men and women ages 15-24 had never had any sexual contact where as in 2006-2008 those numbers increased for the age group to 27% for men and 29% for women. Specifically looking at youth ages 15-17, 53% of young men and 58% of young women reported never having any form of sexual activity. This is a seven to ten percent increase since 2002.
As respondents age their choice to engage in consensual sexual activity increases, as has been the case for decades. However, the percentage of youth who have only had oral sex and not any other form of penetrative intercourse remain low, yet as penetrative intercourse becomes a part of their sexual health history these numbers decrease. However, the reality remains that focusing on STI prevention for younger youth must still be a priority. As the report argues, some youth are putting “themselves at risk for STI and HIV before thy are ever at risk for pregnancy.”
USA Today reporter Sharon Jayson interviews several professionals in the field of reproductive and sexual health of young people and many of them make strong important arguments about our ideas about youth. Jennifer Manlove from Child Trends is quoted as saying that youth “may be more in control of their behaviors than we think.” I appreciate this quote because I think it speaks to many of use working with, raising, educating, and/or mentoring youth. There are ideas that their peers, media, and lack of supportive and affirming messages from various support networks youth are a part of influence them negatively. Yet, we rarely talk about how youth have agency, can provide consent, and are important contributing members of society.
A majority of the articles focusing on this research are interested specifically in the “virginity boom.” The Week provided an interesting list of 5 reasons why there is an “teen virginity boom.” Included in the list are: virginity is trendy, sex education is working, youth don’t have time for sex, youth desire quality, not quantity, and maybe respondents were not being honest.
I believe this is more complicated and there may not be just one answer. If we are to want our choices and experiences to be respected and to be seen as complicated individuals we must offer that to youth as well. Let us first acknowledge that the 15 year olds that were interviewed at this time may now be adults today, and their experiences may have changed. So, a majority of the respondents in this research are possibly currently sexually active to some degree.
What if we acknowledged that media images, even if not the most positive or inclusive, had an impact on youth, especially when connected to strong messages from parents and adults in their lives coupled with comprehensive sexuality education. Are we ready to give shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom some credit in providing examples and conversations for youth to witness and absorb?
Are we ready to acknowledge that some youth do value activism and education in ways we may not have imagined before? That their work is just as important, if not more, than our own as they are “insiders” to communities we have aged out of. Will any of us do anything different with this new data? And if so, will any of that include transgender youth?
I really adore youth who create media to send messages that are important to them. Rarely do I comment or write about such those that are poorly constructed or have unclear goals. This will be a first. The creators of the video below seem to really be invested and serious about their proposed project. What I'm wondering is: how can I see and find the value in this form of media versus just debunking it and finding the "wrong?"
This video was introduced to me when a friend shared it on her social networking site. It had several comments shortly after posting and I knew I had to check the video out. We have both worked at GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) and are familiar with the goals and work of the organization. Needless to say, when I watched this video I was just as surprised and confused as many of her colleagues.
This video was sent to GLAADs attention via their twitter account when Jacob Sempler, Copywriter at the Miami Art School, sent it to them. Sempler is an art student who created this with two other classmates, Matilda Kahl the art director who is at Miami Art School and Emil Tilsmann the art director who is at the New School of Design/Parsons, for a class project. I want to be clear this is not an official video by GLAAD, it is a student project submitted to GLAAD.
The video is called "Balls of Pride" and seems to be focusing on heterosexual men (I'm including trans men who identify as heterosexual because the focus is on "gay men," and I recognize that the creators may not considered trans men or their sexual orientations in creating this video) and how they can show their "pro-gay" support/ideas/etc. through their girlfriends. The description by the creators reads:
“Straight men avoid publicly stating that they’re pro-gay for various reasons. Our idea is to have their girlfriends do it for them. That makes them pro-gay and unquestionably straight at the same time.”
The creators state in the video that "research" they found (which was by interviewing 2 men on the street who the creators may have known) is what led them to understand that many heterosexual men are "pro gay" but don't know how to talk or speak about it. Their goal is to do this through their girlfriends, have them announce their "pro-gay" ideologies while also affirming their heterosexuality so there is no confusion if they are gay or not.
I'm not sure how long this video will remain up, so apologies in advance for that! I’m also going to let you choose if this is appropriate to watch at work, there are no inappropriate terms or language used. However, I will share that the images and conversations around the “Balls of Pride” does center on wordplay for testicles. There is even a “wall of balls” they believe they can create that will demonstrate an increase in support via facebook.
See what I mean? There’s so much good here, but there is also so much wrong here as well. It’s so layered. I completely appreciate their attempts and their vision. I also really appreciate that they believed so much in their project that they were shameless in promoting it via social media and networking. It is that kind of drive that I adore in many young people.
At the same time I see how this form of media is a misplaced attempt to create a community of people who openly support the human rights of all people. There is still a fear of people thinking others may believe they are gay and this is what the main problem being a member of that community? This is at the heart of the issues. There’s so much more here to unpack, from using a partner to do this, focusing on genitals without recognition of the social construction of sex, and finding/using our voices to promote social justice without recognizing the ways we perpetuate certain types of oppression.
It's important to me to also address how some may react with laughter and see this as comical. I'm not a fan of continuing to laugh at this piece of media, I admit it did make me laugh a few times and the wordplay was juvenile in a way that reminds me why I love to teach sex ed. However, having a sense of humor and using it appropriately to create media that can result in some form of social or community change is a skill that not everyone has. Often such humor can be effective, but when done poorly or in bad taste it can lead to all sorts of challenges, ridicule of the target population, and even physical pain for some who may be harmed.
I share this in hopes that it may promote some form of discussion either here or in the spaces we are occupying. This may be a useful tool to begin conversations about media, media literacy and media justice with many youth, but also among ourselves.
I’m really excited to read so many young people writing about their responses to the MTV show “No Easy Decision” about young people and abortion. Although I had to wait until after it was aired to catch it online, I deliberately chose not to read any of the commentary by adults regarding the show. After all, I don’t think this show had older adults as a target audience, and wanted to hear more of what youth had to say. So thank you for all of you who wrote in a diary or blog post this week!
Avoiding adult commentary was difficult as the following day after the show airing there was a ton of articles written. However, I knew that when I saw the show I too would want to leave some commentary. Here are some of my thoughts about the show after taking a week to let it all sink in and to read lots of youth prespectives.
When I first realized Dr. Drew would be hosting the show I felt a bit of doom. I’m not a fan of Dr. Drew for numerous reasons, but this mainly stems from following his career on TV, especially MTV, over several decades. One thing I noticed very quickly was that Dr. Drew was very comfortable diagnosing everyone he came into contact with as having some kind of sexual abuse in their history, which lead to their “acting out” or behaviors considered “deviant.” Now, I have issues with mental health professionals doing this for all kinds of reasons that I can share but they will take me on tangents. Let’s just say that I think we are all more complicated than our experiences with sex and violence.
With that said, I have also not appreciated how Dr. Drew speaks to many of the young people who participate in the “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” series. At times I find him condescending and arrogant. I see him interacting with youth in the unfortunate and standard “I’m the adult I know more” approach but adds a hint of classism to the hierarchy he works in with the “I’m also a doctor so I know more than you.” It really makes my skin crawl, more so knowing that he’s not the only doctor who works with youth who has this same “bedside manner.”
So, it is needed for me to say that I was incredibly impressed with Dr. Drew’s hosting of the show. He allowed the young people to speak, interjected when they finished a sentence to share data that is factual and important for everyone to hear, not just folks who know what they would do with an unplanned pregnancy. I was pleasantly surprised and found myself thinking Dr. Drew is the perfect example, and reminder, that adults can learn to communicate more effectively at any age. This is not just a skill we acquire as we age; sometimes youth have to teach us how to do this as well.
I was also impressed with Markia, the young woman who spoke first and longest about her abortion decision and experience. As one of the young people featured on season 2 of 16 and Pregnant, I remember recently watching her episode with her partner and family about pregnancy. While watching her episode of “16 and Pregnant” I remember being overwhelmed or her. Watching her as she continued her pregnancy and her partner James, remained homeless stressed me out, so I can only imagine what it may have been like for her and her family. There were also times when I thought their lack of communication, distractions from friends and schoolmates, and riffs in their relationship were so real and so on point that I felt comfort in knowing that some of my time experiencing those similar stressors were behind me. It’s amazing how media can trigger such emotions, reminders, and relief. It was also uncomfortable for me to realize this for a while until I had to remind myself that part of being honest and open is being unashamed of some of the emotions I have and to share them so I can learn more or heal better.
Watching Markai and James on “No Easy Decision” really demonstrated their growth as parents, a couple, and as individuals. Each supported the other, listened well, communicated what they meant and felt to the best of their abilities, respected and trusted their experiences, and demonstrated some of the hardest parts of loving another person: appreciating and honoring the entire person by allowing them to bring their entire self into the partnership. They did not fight selfishly, learned the importance of eye contact, and showed affection in ways that give us all good examples of what a healthy relationship can look like.
Many of my concerns and hopes were not addressed: how youth are counseled and mentored in navigating the health care industrial complex, youth choosing diverse birthing options, and some issues with class and all of their connections. Yet, I believe we have been given a great opportunity to support young people through movements like 16 & Loved, watch young people grow, and receive amazing examples of strength and dedication that is centered in selflessness. These are things I never imagined having seen or witnessed and am glad to have had the opportunity with many of you.
If you haven’t seen the show “No Easy Decision” check it out below:
This post will be cross posted from my Media Justice column.
This week I’ve come back to DC to be with my family for the end of the year. It’s a tradition that I’ve done since moving back to NYC. One of the saving graces from the stress of holidays, family expectations (being in your 30s and not being partnered or have babies is kind of an issue as some of ya’ll can imagine), not having public transportation similar to NYC, and generally being back in the south (DC is below the Mason Dixon line, the sweet tea line, and it’s the south!), is cable television!
I haven’t had cable since leaving the area, so 5 years I’ve been sans cable, as well as still using rabbit ears for a TV that has survived the conversion of 2010. I’ve shared before that I live an analog life and it’s still true! The first thing I try to do when I get home is not get sucked into the Law & Order: SVU marathon that is a black hole, instead I peruse the music video channels and steadily stay watching Vh1 Soul. This morning (Thursday) they had a Prince block that gave me life!
All this to say, I was way behind in discovering that MTV is having a show “No Easy Decision.” l about teens who have chosen abortion when they have discovered they are pregnant. The show will air Tuesday December 28, 2010 at 11:30pm. This week I began to see a ton of tweets from my homies on Twitter about supporting the youth who share their stories of abortion on the television show. The hashtag being used is “16 & Loved” and I went to the MTV website and couldn’t find the show by that name.
I sent a tweet asking folks who are promoting the show to please see the class privilege in having access to cable. That’s when my homegirl Shelby Knox replied and sent me the links folks can show support if there is no cable access. MTV has partnered with Exhale and there is a website that folks can share their own stories of abortion and show support for the teens sharing their story at 16 & Loved. The website mission reads:
16 & Loved is a campaign to give our public support to the three young women who told their abortion story on the MTV special – “No Easy Decision” - created for the popular series “16 & Pregnant.” Markai and several other young women did their part to let others know: “you are not alone. I’ve been there too.” Now, it’s time to do our part. We need to make sure these brave young women feel our unconditional love and our support. 16 & Loved sends love and support to Markai and the others on the show, and, in the process, lets every young woman who has had an abortion know that she is not alone. She is loved.
I write this post because I won’t be home in DC after Monday and will miss the airing of the show as it’s back to rabbit ears TV for me. I’m loving the movement of youth and people that have come out to support young people and all of their decisions when facing an unplanned/expected pregnancy. It’s time we see that there are options and all young people must know what they are and that they are available. This is media making.
There’s also a ton of class privilege that I think can also be interrogated, and that we don’t usually see (but I’ve seen it vividly in Teen Mom especially with Tyler and Catelynn in Michigan). MTV is not the best at showing working-class White people like American Idol,but their story really is one that I find important to this narrative and testimony of youth and relationships.
Part of this class privilege is also having access to the Internet, which is completely connected to Net Neutrality (which is something we MUST get up on as a community of reproductive justice activists!) I’ll be honest with ya’ll, I “borrow” WiFi to write a majority of my Media Justice columns as well as other spaces where I do my online work. The Internet and access to it is a privilege. It’s a privilege that I don’t know how or when I may lose or have it and I for that reason I’m also thinking of the youth who may be in a similar situation and not be able to support and/or watch the show.
The hands of the many young clients I’ve held because they have accepted me as their abortion doula during their termination; hearing their stories; knowing some of their histories, I know they do not have cable. Their stories are theirs to tell and they won’t be told in this capacity. This is one of the reasons I see the importance of “speak outs” that happen at many feminist/gender-centered conferences.
I’m not a huge fan of the “speak outs” especially when connected to abortion, personally. Part of this stems from seeing people who are not prepared to hear those testimonios respond to them, youth thinking they are expected to share when they are not prepared or ready to do so, and the somewhat voyeuristic space that may be created. However, I have not ever spoken out against these spaces existing, or the importance and need they fill for many people. Any way for such healing and consciousness-raising to occur is essential. There is enough space for all of us to heal and build together.
I’m in support of this show, as well as the TV series 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom. Unlike others (mostly adults that I’ve spoken to) who have issue with the shows and the possible glorifying of the situation, I have a different perspective. I actually try to watch the shows when I can get access to the site and full episodes. I find the shows useful tools for discussion, activism, and education.
To be honest, I can’t wait for the show when a teen that chooses to carry a pregnancy to term also chooses to be in a birthing center, have a midwife and/or doula help them through their birth. Now that is a story that is not being told either: birthing options. Instead we’ve seen all the young people give birth in hospitals, with medications, and on their backs. There’s been no connection or education to the ways young parents/pregnant people are informed about the health care industrial complex, profit-driven advice by physicians, and learning how to navigate these spaces.
While most of ya’ll were getting ready to have a dope weekend at Advocates For Youth’s Urban Retreat, I was listening to and trying to work through my ideas around the “movement” Now Wedding No Womb (NWNW). If you have not heard of NWNW (which you can follow conversations on Twitter using the hashtag #NWNW), the goal of this “movement” which is discussed under the tab “No Wedding No Womb FAQ” is to:
NWNW calls for both MEN and WOMEN to put the needs of children first, and advocates that couples abstain from having children until they are emotionally, physically and financially able to care for them. In my opinion, marriage is the ideal. However, if marriage is out of the question, NWNW parents are “wedded” to their commitment to their children, providing daily emotional and physical nurturing. I’m advocating for women to think more of their bodies and their future children BEFORE sperm meets egg. I’m advocating for men to STOP spraying their seeds all over The Creation.
Now, although the above statement it reads in a very race neutral way, however the focus is on Black men and women. NWNW is lead and organized by Christelyn D. Karazin who is a writer and journalist (you can read more about her on the NWNW website by clicking the tab “About Christelyn”) and has received a lot of attention from the media as she hoped. She envisions one way of reaching the goals mentioned above was to first ask several bloggers to write about the topic on September 22, 2010. In an interview with Michael Eric Dyson , Chriselyn stated she reached out to 200 bloggers and got 100 to agree to participate in the September 22 event. I think that’s a pretty good number.
Let me be clear (and biased), I’m not a supporter of NWNW. I’m not a supporter for all of the reasons my homegirls have shared over the past two weeks. Check out Sparkle’s very accessible list here, Dr. Goddess’s pieces on the topic/a> and one of my favorite online spots the activists at The Crunk Feminist Collective. There are two other reasons I’m not in support of this “movement” and they are the focus of this piece.
1. Blackness, as presented in this “movement,” does not include LatiNegr@s (i.e. me) or any other ethnic identity that intersects with a racial classification of Black. 2. There are no youth perspectives by youth.
I joked with my homegirl Sparkle and my homies on Twitter that I really am happy, for the first time EVER, that my Blackness was excluded in a conversation about sexuality and Blackness. Often I have a LOT to say about such omissions. I’ve been pretty vocal about my perspective about being a Black woman, a woman of Color, a LatiNegra, so none of this should come as a surprise. I do wonder why it is so easy to omit us. Then I wonder how that would kind of mess up the goal, focus, and argument of the “movement.” If there were an understanding and recognition of how ethnicity and race intersect and complicate who we are, then there would have to be a different conversation. A conversation about systemic oppressions that work to ensure that certain communities remain under-resourced and without access to basic daily needs (i.e. food, shelter, health care, protection NOT surveillance, etc.). And solutions to those challenges and struggles have been rooted in moving towards a more democratic form of capitalism (if there is one), or completely moving away from capitalism and other forms of hierarchy in general (in my opinion).
This idea that we must protect children (and youth) but not have any youth share their own experiences, ideas, and solutions is a pretty big deal for me. Of course one can argue that youth who are under a certain age would need permission from parents, or are not the target audience. I would argue that’s kind of my point with my problem around this “movement.” How are we talking about what happens to our young people but don’t talk to them? I mean those of you reading this already know this, because it still happens all the time. I’m probably one of the older bloggers here, but I vividly remember how condescending adults are to me (still are because they think I have a “baby face” so assume I’m younger than I am, so that ish keeps going into your 20s!). I’ve often found myself as the one (sometimes only) person who mentions the omission of a youth perspective, which is sad.
There are so many assumptions about age. That young people would not have anything to say about this topic. Young people are too busy doing too many things (possibly with technology) or too busy consuming media to care about X issue. That with age comes wisdom, thus youth do not have any good valuable ideas to share. The list goes on and I’m sure many of you are more than aware of what they include. What the real issue I find is: We don’t care what young people think because we are too busy patting ourselves on the back for thinking we can come up with solutions to their problems without having them be a part of those solutions.
What I’d love to know is what your thoughts are about this “movement.” Even if it’s one sentence, or several, or a link to a post or comment you wrote somewhere else. This is the perfect example about talking about youth but not talking with youth. This is also the perfect example of creating media so that y/our perspective is recognized; to let us adults remember we can’t work this way, claiming we have your “best interests in mind.” We get it wrong, and I’m sorry we get it wrong so often and don’t learn. I’m sorry this “movement” excluded you claiming to care for you. I’m sorry nobody has apologized for this until now.
Cross posted from my Media Justice Column (This is the original piece I submitted to my editor and because of my contract certain discussions re: pleasurable sex had to be omitted. This piece includes that discussion. I also plan to update this list with new conversations/links to analysis by people of Color regarding this video).
***Trigger Warning***
While visiting Trinity College this week I asked some female-identified students what their thoughts were regarding Kiely Williams’ new video “Spectacular.” I have yet to hear too many conversations among their/your community about this video. This question is similar to my question asking you all what you thought about Eryka Badu’s video that was getting so much attention a few weeks ago.
One hundred percent of all the people present had no idea who or what I was talking about. So we went to the Internet and found the video. Upon seeing her face, several of the women identified Kiely from her Cheetah Girls days and we watched and listened to the video together. It was a very fascinating conversation. If you have yet to see the video check it out below (NSFW):
We then watched Kiely’s response to the public’s discussion on her video, which you can see below:
Many of my favorite homegirls are writing about the video. I first read the analysis from the Crunk Feminist Collective that my homegirl Maegan La Mamita Mala Ortiz had shared. Then my homegirl Janna wrote a piece about how this song seems to be an anthem for “drunken blackout sex” which teases out a few areas that are often overlooked. My homegirl AJ, who is the Sexual Correspondent for Racialicious.com has a recent piece up: Not So “Spectacular”: Kiely Williams, Black Erotics, and Sexual Responsibility which highlights several points regarding sexual assault, imagery, and HIV and STI rates among Black people living in the US. AJ then shared the writing of Carolyn Edgar who wrote Pimps Up, Hoes Up: Sexing Your Way To Your 15 Minutes of Fame which analyses this and a recent video created by a young woman of Color named Kat Stacks who identifies as having slept with numerous singers, rappers and/or celebrities.
In an effort to not redo what has already been done, and been done well, I want to focus on two specific topics: 1. Reaction by young people, 2. What is “spectacular” sex?
After watching the video with a group of students at Trinity College, one young woman admitted she was “confused” by the video. She did not know what to think, how to react, or how to properly consume the video and the lyrics of the film as well as Kiely’s response to the video. Others, as they watched, laughed and said “she’s a wreck [as an artist],” raised their eyebrows, and took deep breaths. We discussed this video alongside Eryka Badu’s video “Window Seat,” and the conversation was one I did not expect.
Many of the people present did not see anything overtly “wrong” with the video by Williams (or Badu for that matter). I thought it interesting that there was an interpretation of control and power in both videos. There are some ways that I can understand this perspective, after all media literacy skills do recognize that people have different perspectives and therefore different interpretations. I can see how Kiely’s decision to leave her partner’s apartment quickly when she awakened is a form of power for some viewers. That Kiely chose to be there and had the ability to leave when she chose to is important for many. I wonder if the confusion and the awkward discussions by artists are what makes such videos/songs/etc. easy to dismiss.
Then there are the amazing forms of media that is being made by young people, especially young people of Color and young women around the video. There are several videos that they have created that either capture their first consumption of the video and song or discussing their critique and/or praise of the video. One of the first that come up in a YouTube search is by PoeticallyChanged whose immediate response was “is she on the stroll” which is a term used to identify certain areas where sex workers find clients. PoeticallyChanged rolls her eyes, thinks the partner in the video is “ugly,” and sits quietly for most of the video. Later in her discussion she questions why Kiely gives the two Black men the finger but is smitten when the White man approaches her. Check out her video (and the comments) below:
MzDTH has also created a video discussing Kiely’s song and video and her decision is that the dancing was terrible, the budget was clearly low, and the partner was ugly. Her final message was that Kiely looks like a “ho” and that she was disappointed. Lillady2491 shares her perspective and also says she is disappointed. She asks “is that the real you” which is a very thoughtful question. If all of us do not have the same media literacy skills, how can we decipher between what is real and what is not?
Men are also discussing the video. For example, EducatedX has commentary, which also pulls on the Kiely looking like a sex worker, why is she wearing a fur coat to a club, and then spends a bit of time talking about why Kiely dissed Black men in the video. He shares that he does not “get it,” the “it” as in her goal for this song and video. Prince Ea begins his media watching the video as he acts as if he is masturbating while watching and says Kiely went “from Disney to Lewinski.” He also does a further analysis of Ke$ha and Rihanna and seeks to begin a dialogue on what is going on in society. He asks: “Are we depicting healthy images of beauty, self respect, self understanding?” Another video by a man I’d like to highlight is by Vandalyzm who shares how the young women of 3LW have all evolved (mentioning Naturi Naughton who played Lil Kim in the film Notorious.) One video I’d like to highlight (and because it does not have any profanity in it) is by pointthemout and he mentions “beer goggles”! Take a look:
So what is “spectacular sex”? I have my own list of what can make sex spectacular for me, and they are based on trial and error. I’ll share my bias: spectacular sex for me, includes no fear of contracting HIV or any sort of STI for any activity and no fear of unplanned pregnancy, when both my partner and I appreciate and accept one another’s bodies, when we both give consent, when our options are endless for various activities (yes this includes a mash-up of condoms available, toys, and good music!). Yet, how do you think others may define “spectacular sex”? More importantly, what is spectacular sex for YOU? Does your partner(s) agree?
I’ll admit that I don’t think it’s often that music videos are made to have viewers understand and acknowledge that human sexual response/arousal exists and is real. I write this because I have no idea if what Kiely thinks “spectacular” sex is may be a result of human sexual response, specifically orgasm, or what the bodies of some people may experience post-sex (think afterglow perhaps). I think some folks may also think that if after a night of sex with a partner if they have any visual signs or reminders of the interaction that this means it was “spectacular.” Kiely herself does her “walk of shame” with her left arm still dangling a handcuff. I think of how there were times when getting hickey’s really made me feel powerful because it was something other folks could see that let them know I was 1. desired and 2. Getting some action. I’m no longer a huge fan of such outward markings by certain lovers, but I do understand that desire and value.
I’ll leave you with a video that I find very useful and that is a call to action for those of you who seek/need/want to be active around this video and it’s imagery and how you interpret what is presented by freedomreeves:
What do you think? What is spectacular sex? What are your responses/reactions to Kiely’s video? All this talk about obesity and dieting, is it time for what Elizabeth Thoman calls a “media diet”?
I've partnered with an amazing media maker and radical educator: SuperHussy to help her find, edit, and publish an anthology focusing on women of Color, sex and sexuality! Here's the Call for Submissions:
Alright ya’ll, it’s time to expand the reach of Super Hussy Media. You know there;s the blog, and the film projects in the works, but wait, here it comes…our first call for submissions for our annual publication, The Compendium.
Our first issue, The Talk, focuses on self-identified women of Color and how they learned about S-E-X. Here are the details:
The Talk: Women of Color On Sex is an exploration of how self-identified women across the Diaspora came to learn about sex and what it meant to have a sexual relationship. Did your mom, aunty or tia sit you down? Were your homegirls or hermanas responsible for giving you the blow by blow? Was Cinemax After Dark, Youtube or a telenovela your sex ed instructor?
Super Hussy Media seeks fresh and daring writers who can coax the reader into an intimate understanding of not only how they learned about sex, but how that knowledge impacted their sexual exploration. We want submissions that are funny, sad, enraging, and transformational.
The Talk is ultimately about our testimonies regarding how we were taught or chose to learn about our sexuality. How we are continuing to learn, lessons we wish we could share with other women of Color, introspective activities of reflection. This is all about us.
Submission Requirements
• Deadline: July 1, 2010
• No more than 2 previously unpublished short stories per submission
• Simultaneous submissions okay, but notify if your work is accepted elsewhere
• 4,000 words or less
• Double spaced
• Poetry and non-English submissions accepted as long as they are accompanied by an English translation
All contributors will receive a copy of the anthology.
Submissions
All submissions must be sent electronically using .doc or .pdf to submissions@superhussy.com.
Title of submission should be placed in the subject line. Please include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and short bio with your submission.
Superhussy Media publishes work that celebrates girls and women of color everywhere!
Growing up in the Washington, DC area, (Silver Spring, MD to be exact) and living in DC for a good part of my life, the Washington City Paper was one of the staples of my childhood. Now that I’ve lived in NYC, I have not spent as much time checking out the paper online as I used to, but when I came across a particular post on the paper’s site about how men in the DC area talk about birth control, my interest was piqued again.
A new part of the paper for me is a section called “The Sexist” which is written by Amanda Hess. Honestly, I chose not to spend much time looking past what was posted on the first page after I watched the video (included below) even if the tagline of the blog is "Sex and Gender in The District." This was mainly because I didn't see any writing/articles/themes that were written targeting me as a reader. The blog post I did read, Men Explaining Birth Control, contains interviews with men on the street and in their homes in the DC area being asked about various birth control and contraceptive methods: oral birth control pills, emergency contraception (aka morning after pill), the patch, and the ring. They share what they know about the method and how it works.
I will warn you, I didn’t find this funny; I found it rather scary.
If ever there were evidence of why “teen” pregnancy prevention programs do not work, this is it! Often pregnancy prevention programs, efforts and resources are focused on cisgender (young) women. There is this assumption that it is only women--but not the men with whom they are (hopefully) having consensual sex--who need the information on contraception and pregnancy prevention. It is not often that men (transgender or cisgender) are included in such conversations, or even envisioned to be a part of them.
With some sexuality education programs still separating classes by gender, limiting conversations about birth control and contraception (and the difference between the two), and with education focusing just on male condom use among men, are we really surprised that pregnancy prevention efforts are not working as well as they could? I’d be interested in knowing if the men interviewed could discuss how to properly use a male condom, demonstrate how to do that, and/or discuss the difference between the male condom and the female condom and how they are used.
Then there is the assumption that youth who identify as gay or lesbian do not need to know the same information regarding contraceptives and birth control. This cannot be further from the truth. Gay and lesbian youth may or may not want to have children, some may choose pregnancy to avoid coming out, and others may end up having sex with cisgender partners.
I wasn’t too surprised by the results of this video, but I also wasn’t entertained. Instead I found it extremely odd that in “Chocolate City,” with a huge international population, there were no men of color to speak with or interview. I’m not sure if there would be a difference in the knowledge men of various racial, ethnic, national origin, and/or documentation status would have in comparison to the very white presumed-U.S. participants in the video.
Other thoughts I’m having about this video: would younger men today know a little more? Will young men know more in another few years? The language used in the video was very telling, anti-choice, and specific. So much to unpack, does someone else want to do that? What can I do right now as a form of direct action to reach men of all ages and help them understand how birth control and contraceptives work? I’d love to hear what readers think and if you can suggest any websites that are dedicated to the sexual and reproductive health of (young) men.
I was contacted by Gabriela Lazzaro, the Bilingual New Media Coordinator at Planned Parenthood about this exciting internship opportunity for Latino youth/college students in NYC!
Contact Gabriela directly at: mailto:ppnewmediaintern@gmail.com and apply online here.
Summer Latino Engagement Intern position (possibly paid, TBD) **Don't be shy! If you heard about this internship here tell Gabriela in your cover letter! You can mention me, Bianca, or say you read about it on Latino Sexuality!
***The commitment would be full time and this person would have to be fully bilingual in English and Spanish***
*This person will work closely with the Director of Latino Engagement on a number of projects related to Latino Outreach at a national level for Planned Parenthood. Since I will also be out on maternity leave this person will have the opportunity to handle several responsibilities with regards to Latino social media outreach as well as major projects with the Spanish language Planned Parenthood website.*
Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA) is the nation’s leading women’s health care provider, educator and advocate, serving women, men, teens and families. For more than 90 years, PPFA has done more than any other organization in the United States to improve women’s health and safety, prevent unintended pregnancies and advance the right and ability of individuals and families to make informed and responsible choices.
Join us in the meaningful work we do every day. Be part of the diverse and highly respected Planned Parenthood family. Work hand in hand with like-minded individuals in an environment built on collaboration, open communication, and mutual respect.
2010 INTERNSHIP PROGRAM (NY Office)
Join the organization that is at the forefront of the reproductive health and rights movement!
Planned Parenthood is looking for undergraduate and graduate college students who believe in our mission. During this ten week journey you will: • Gain hands-on experience by assisting with the day-to-day responsibilities of the department, attending meetings, and working on special projects o Departments: Development, international, public policy, communications, medical affairs, IT, finance, accounting, human resources, etc. • Participate in weekly luncheons with other students in the program • Participate in a field trip • Work on a group project, with other interns, which will be presented at the end of the internship.
QUALIFICATIONS All applicants must demonstrate the following characteristics: • Strong computer skills (Microsoft Office, internet research, email, etc.). • Proficiency in Microsoft Excel. • Excellent verbal and written communication skills. • Strong analytical skills.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America is an equal employment opportunity employer and is committed to maintaining a non-discriminatory work environment. Planned Parenthood of America does not discriminate against any employee or applicant for employment on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, marital status, sexual orientation, or any other characteristic protected by applicable law. Planned Parenthood Federation of America is committed to creating a dynamic work environment that values team work, collaboration, creativity, and building a diverse team.
I've been updating LatinoSexuality.com and reviewing a film so I've been a bit quiet. I've come across a story about "dirty lyrics" among songs produced and distributed in Jamaica that reminds me of some work I've done in the past.
This reminds me of the work I did with young people living in the Lower East Side of NYC regarding gang involvement and affiliation. As a part of a team, my co-worker/researcher spoke with law enforcement who claimed that there was no problem regarding gang activity in the community. When we spoke to youth and parents, they claimed that gang involvement, recruitment, and activity was a HUGE problem affecting them.
What does this disconnect, this miscommunication, this lack of listening to the community and not trusting the NYPD do? It's complicated is what we realized. But there is something to be said when NYPD believes there is no problem, yet adults of the community fear for the young people.
There's so much that has gone down this week that I was super busy!
I've thought a lot, and am still thinking about Caster Semenya. Today I read and tweeted that she is on suicide watch. I am sending all the positive energy I can to her and her family. Young people need to know they are important and they matter. I hope the people surrounding Caster help her feel this way.
I've also been introduced to the blog Bully Bloggers which features: Lisa Duggan, J. Jack Halberstam, Jose Esteban Munoz and Tavia Nyong'o. Here's what they say their collective blog is about:
The Bully Bloggers are a queer word art group. We write about everything queer, so, pretty much everything. Politics, culture, etiquette, vampires, cartoons, the news, philosophy, utopia and revolution. This blog is our Bully Pulpit; we preach to the converted, the unconverted and the indifferent. We are very serious, but in a silly sort of way. We will be posting on topics that change weekly (approximately).
This one is going on the blog roll!
I also came across this video about people with disabilities and sex (as in the act). The film is called (Sex)abled: Disability Uncensored and you can view it in full here.
Finally, I presented at the Advocates for Youth Urban Retreat where 120 youth from all over the US, Jamaica, Nigeria and Ethiopia who are a part of sexual health education and activism were being trained. During my session (which had well over the 15-20 people we thought it would!) I discussed blogging as a woman of Color, using the internet as a form of activism and what that means for me. I shared how I was extremely happy that when I was preparing for our session last week that I found that when doing a google search for "latino sexuality" and then clicking images this is what can be found:
90% of those images are from THIS blog! These images are VERY different from the porn I found 9 months ago! This is amazing social change that happened very quickly and makes me excited!
Three of the participants shared that they are media makers in various ways and announced a new YouTube channel: Late Nights With Dr. Stud. Check out their first video below:
