Trust Women Week: Bianca's Story

cross posted from my Media Justice column

EDITOR'S NOTE: Trust Women Week overlaps with the 39th anniversary of Roe v. Wade and reasserts our firm commitment to reclaiming the future of reproductive decision-making in 2012. Throughout the week, Amplify will be honoring women's experiences and voices by featuring a different story from The 1 in 3 Campaign January 21-27.

No Easy Decision/16 & Loved: MTVs Airing of Teen Stories About Abortion

This post will be cross posted from my Media Justice column.

This week I’ve come back to DC to be with my family for the end of the year. It’s a tradition that I’ve done since moving back to NYC. One of the saving graces from the stress of holidays, family expectations (being in your 30s and not being partnered or have babies is kind of an issue as some of ya’ll can imagine), not having public transportation similar to NYC, and generally being back in the south (DC is below the Mason Dixon line, the sweet tea line, and it’s the south!), is cable television!

I haven’t had cable since leaving the area, so 5 years I’ve been sans cable, as well as still using rabbit ears for a TV that has survived the conversion of 2010. I’ve shared before that I live an analog life and it’s still true! The first thing I try to do when I get home is not get sucked into the Law & Order: SVU marathon that is a black hole, instead I peruse the music video channels and steadily stay watching Vh1 Soul. This morning (Thursday) they had a Prince block that gave me life!

All this to say, I was way behind in discovering that MTV is having a show “No Easy Decision.” l about teens who have chosen abortion when they have discovered they are pregnant. The show will air Tuesday December 28, 2010 at 11:30pm. This week I began to see a ton of tweets from my homies on Twitter about supporting the youth who share their stories of abortion on the television show. The hashtag being used is “16 & Loved” and I went to the MTV website and couldn’t find the show by that name.

I sent a tweet asking folks who are promoting the show to please see the class privilege in having access to cable. That’s when my homegirl Shelby Knox replied and sent me the links folks can show support if there is no cable access. MTV has partnered with Exhale and there is a website that folks can share their own stories of abortion and show support for the teens sharing their story at 16 & Loved. The website mission reads:

16 & Loved is a campaign to give our public support to the three young women who told their abortion story on the MTV special – “No Easy Decision” - created for the popular series “16 & Pregnant.” Markai and several other young women did their part to let others know: “you are not alone. I’ve been there too.” Now, it’s time to do our part. We need to make sure these brave young women feel our unconditional love and our support. 16 & Loved sends love and support to Markai and the others on the show, and, in the process, lets every young woman who has had an abortion know that she is not alone. She is loved.

I write this post because I won’t be home in DC after Monday and will miss the airing of the show as it’s back to rabbit ears TV for me. I’m loving the movement of youth and people that have come out to support young people and all of their decisions when facing an unplanned/expected pregnancy. It’s time we see that there are options and all young people must know what they are and that they are available. This is media making.

There’s also a ton of class privilege that I think can also be interrogated, and that we don’t usually see (but I’ve seen it vividly in Teen Mom especially with Tyler and Catelynn in Michigan). MTV is not the best at showing working-class White people like American Idol, but their story really is one that I find important to this narrative and testimony of youth and relationships.

Part of this class privilege is also having access to the Internet, which is completely connected to Net Neutrality (which is something we MUST get up on as a community of reproductive justice activists!) I’ll be honest with ya’ll, I “borrow” WiFi to write a majority of my Media Justice columns as well as other spaces where I do my online work. The Internet and access to it is a privilege. It’s a privilege that I don’t know how or when I may lose or have it and I for that reason I’m also thinking of the youth who may be in a similar situation and not be able to support and/or watch the show.

The hands of the many young clients I’ve held because they have accepted me as their abortion doula during their termination; hearing their stories; knowing some of their histories, I know they do not have cable. Their stories are theirs to tell and they won’t be told in this capacity. This is one of the reasons I see the importance of “speak outs” that happen at many feminist/gender-centered conferences.

I’m not a huge fan of the “speak outs” especially when connected to abortion, personally. Part of this stems from seeing people who are not prepared to hear those testimonios respond to them, youth thinking they are expected to share when they are not prepared or ready to do so, and the somewhat voyeuristic space that may be created. However, I have not ever spoken out against these spaces existing, or the importance and need they fill for many people. Any way for such healing and consciousness-raising to occur is essential. There is enough space for all of us to heal and build together.

I’m in support of this show, as well as the TV series 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom. Unlike others (mostly adults that I’ve spoken to) who have issue with the shows and the possible glorifying of the situation, I have a different perspective. I actually try to watch the shows when I can get access to the site and full episodes. I find the shows useful tools for discussion, activism, and education.

To be honest, I can’t wait for the show when a teen that chooses to carry a pregnancy to term also chooses to be in a birthing center, have a midwife and/or doula help them through their birth. Now that is a story that is not being told either: birthing options. Instead we’ve seen all the young people give birth in hospitals, with medications, and on their backs. There’s been no connection or education to the ways young parents/pregnant people are informed about the health care industrial complex, profit-driven advice by physicians, and learning how to navigate these spaces.

Hopefully those of you will join in watching the show, join other folks who will be live tweeting and show your support through the facebook group or the 16 & Loved website.

Goodbye To The Only Midwife on TV

cross posted from my blog at RH Reality Check

Spoiler Alert

I want to fully disclose that I cannot afford cable so I don’t have it and this post is about public television. I’m one of those people that still uses their rabbit ear antenna for their television. I have no shame in still living an analog life where my polariod camera gets more use than my digital one. So you can understand, I’ve only seen one midwife on television this year and that is Dell on ABCs Private Practice.

A spinoff of ABCs Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice piqued my interest with having a Black heterosexual couple who opened their own wellness center, called Oceanside, that has a holistic approach to health and well-being and cast a great group of actors to perform each character. This first season had me intrigued when the writers included storylines about relationships among older adults, gay and lesbian topics on fertility, and challenges in the child welfare system and storylines on intersex children. The third season has been interesting regarding the commentary on sexuality with people who have disabilities, teenage pregnancy, mental health topics and parenting, and a range of beliefs among the characters regarding abortion.

One of the many things I also appreciate about the show is that the physicians and people who work at Oceanside are interesting models of how to work with and among various patients and clients. I always find it interesting as a viewer to see how physicians talk to and engage their patients, especially youth. Dell Parker (performed by Chris Lowell), a young white man who has a child and a history of drug recovery, is also the only midwife on the television show.

We watched as Dell was trained under the care of various OBGYNs and other medical staff to help create and build on his own contributions to the center. His work in midwifery not only challenged some perceptions on masculinity when it comes to who can and is a midwife and what makes a good midwife (do “good” midwives have to have had a child? Need a uterus? Experienced menstruation?). His character also provides complementary care to Westernized thoughts regarding pregnancy and childbirth.

It saddened me to a level I can’t even really express to know that this last episode of Private Practice, "The End Of A Beautiful Friendship" the writers chose to kill Dell’s character off via a brain injury. I was shocked to say the least. This was one of the only representations I’ve seen on mainstream public television of midwifery. As an abortion doula with The Doula Project (we are currently accepting applications for doulas in NYC click here for more information) I found it extremely devastating to the storyline and will admit I think it is a poor choice.

Having midwives represented in mainstream media is important. Dell was one of the only representations I can think of in non-cable mainstream public television that may be accessible to a wider audience. There is now a void on representations of midwives, but there is also a larger void in how the care midwives give is just as vital to wellness centers and childbearing. Who remains to challenge the Westernized models of pregnancy and birthing options on the show as Dell did (I don’t think Pete will be as passionate or on point as Dell was)? Have you thought about how his character was an opportunity to establish and further conversations on midwifery and doulas? I know I’d mentioned his character in my teaching on human sexuality, and now I worry that none of my students will even know of his characters existence or was important.

Are there other non-cable mainstream television shows you’ve seen or known of (in any language or country) that feature midwives and doulas? I’d love to know of other resources that are accessible.

37th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade

Today is the 37th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade being passed in the US. There are a lot of writing on the internet and I want to highlight some and do a bit of self promotion.

I wrote over at VivirLatino about the series "What Choice Means To Me" and highlighted several of the Latina voices that are featured.

My article remembering Rosie Jimenez was included in that featured series and you can go directly to it here.

Here's my article about being an abortion doula, which I've written about here before.

What does choice and reproductive freedom and justice mean to you?

Doulas! Not Just For The Wealthy!

My homegirl Sparkle posted this video and I think it must be shared!

Taye Diggs on Jimmy Kimmel this week discussed how he and his wife chose to have a doula for the birth of their son. He also speaks about placenta encapsulation. As you may already know, I'm an abortion doula in NYC and Sparkle is a birth doula.

One of Sparkle's statements when she posted this was that doulas are not just for the wealthy! If you are planning to have a baby, or if you find yourself needing an abortion, look into the benefits of having a doula to assist you.

Support Your Doulas

Some of you know, some of you don't, but I'm an Abortion Doula. What that means is that when women have scheduled their abortion procedure* I am with them in the procedure room. I help them breath, relax, and move through the procedure quickly and safely. We not only help the patient and her family, we also help the physicians.

This is not a new profession, as abortions and births have been going on since the beginning of time! However, the Doula Project of NY is a new program and we are currently in only one public hospital in the state. We are in the process of achieving our non-profit 501(c)3 status and are having fundraisers to make sure we can afford all that we need to make this happen!

Currently the abortion doulas are all volunteer. That's right! I may work 4 jobs, but I am committed to this project and to serving women who are in need of support and comfort. I am not alone, all of the abortion doulas are committed as well. We are made up of birth doulas, adoption doulas, and abortion doulas. All of us provide valuable services that center the family.

Please support if you can and make a donation via our website, or come out to one of our events!




*not only because it is their CHOICE not to be a parent, but for many women, they have had miscarriages and they need to make sure the entire contents of the pregnancy are no longer inside them, others planned to have parent their child but the baby has multiple complications such as anencephaly or is stillborn.