My ONLY Response On NYHRA Teen Pregnancy PSAs

Many folks have asked me to writes something or respond to the NY Human Resources Association's latest ad campaign about teenage pregnancy.

Here's my thing: I'm personally and professionally not a fan of these posters, language, images, in the way they are presented and the messages they are sending to youth, especially young parents of Color.

What my concerns are and why I'm not going to comment much on this topic is the following:

1. I'm not, nor have I ever been, a young parent of Color. 
2. I'm clear my points of view are not ones that come from a space of being a young parent or a youth at all anymore. 
3. I do not know if youth were engaged in creating these images and messaging. 
4. I'm committed to doing the actual work directly with youth, helping youth strategize and build to create messages that represent them. 
5. I stand in solidarity with youth and not on top or over them.

I'm troubled that the NYHRA has created and implemented this program in this way when similar campaigns such as HIV Stops With Me have created amazing discussions around living positive with HIV. See for example the ads featuring AIDS educator and activists Kim and Jahlove (sidenote: I work with both Kim and Jahlove and I adore them both).

I wonder: what role youth had, if any, in this process. Perhaps they were included. What if youth were a part of creating these images and campagin? What say folks then? How may these responses be shaming those youth who participated? Is that our purpose at the end of the day?

See I'm more concerned with how youth are going to be treated in this back and forth. I'm concerned how folks may be isolating and targeting youth who participated and that is not useful. What are ways folks who are "organizing" around this campaign are already working with youth? Don't get it twisted there are TONS of folks who will come out of the "woodworks" and write about this who are 1. not youth, 2. not young parents, 3. not parents, 4. speak for/over youth who are parents.

And that's my main concern. I'm more interested in organizations led and run by youth responding to these. I'm interested in engaging youth first and foremost to respond to this because this is about them and targeting them. Being a mentor for almost 2 decades to the same young woman, I've learned a lot from her mentoring me as well. I've learned that we must support youth in many of their endeavors.  That we, adults, must be mindful of the space we take up in youth spaces. We must not speak over or for youth. We must instead make opportunities and build connections and relationships to actually have youth be at the center and at the table making decisions.

I know I'm here for helping youth. I see youth as important members of our society. They know what they want and they know what works for them. Are we, as adults, educators, providers, ready to listen to youth and let them lead? Or are we afraid of giving up that form of power too?

Discussing Justin Bieber (But Really Talking About How We Treat Young Mothers)

cross posted from my rh reality check blog

I wrote an article last week about Justin Bieber for a youth focused website, something I didn’t think I’d ever do. However, the piece was more about how we support and discuss young mothers in the US and how that is connected to what is going on regarding Justin Bieber and Mariah Yeater, whose attorney had asked Bieber to take a paternity test.

Many media outlets reported that the paternity test was withdrawn and one of the respondents on my last article asked if I would write a follow-up regarding the paternity test results. Here’s my response to this entire situation with Justin Bieber: I hope he takes notes from Raymond "Boots" Riley of The Coupon how to respond to a young woman who claims you were a part of creating a child with her, regardless of the situation.

The Coup are a hip-hop group from Oakland, California and Boots Riley and Pam the Funkstress, one of the few women DJs, are the main members. In their album Party Music (2001), the song Nowalaters was included. This song is Boots Riley’s open letter to a young woman who had stated he was the person who impregnated her when he was a teenager. I’ve included the song and lyrics below. I’ve bolded parts of the song lyrics that I think are extremely useful and telling when it comes to discussing teen motherhood and pregnancy and how we treat young mothers in the US.

I hope this quick post will be useful for those of you seeking to use this story in the media in your classrooms or groups with youth to discuss abstinence, pregnancy, consent, and assault. Please note there is some profanity in these lyrics, so listening at work may not be appropriate for all readers.

[Boots]

Well if you thrust, eventually you gonna gush

And I'm implyin' I ain't had no business cryin'

Cause we used the rubber twice

And we knew that shit was dyin' to bust

Well we was only seventeen

But you was older in between

And in my fresh Adidas fits

I used to come more clean than Jeru jerkin' off in a can of chlorine

Sophisticated with the game I was spittin' in

A nymphomaniac was with it, that's just a clip, more experience

V on my chest when I was put to the test

You said "Goddamn nigga, that ain't how ya get it in"

Dashboards for the leverage, tall cans for beverage

The weed can make you courageous, make a Honda Civic seem so

spacious Make

five minutes seem like ages, anyway

[Chorus]

You smelled like Care-Free Curl and nowalaters baby

Said you liked high-top fades

And Jesse Johnson’s "Crazy"

Seventeen, all on you like chicken and some gravy

Learned a lot, thank you much today I’m still campaignin'

[Repeat 1]

[Boots]

The lake don't smell so bad now, do it

Don't trip off ya hair baby just re-glue it

The windows is fogged up, can't nobody view it

Put down the O-E and turn up the Howard Hewett

And some more, we had things to discuss

Like how we do it, we got amniotic fluid

And a baby floatin' though it

Hey, imagine if it look like us, it was me up in the vaginary

And I'ma love my kids whether real or imaginary

Quit school, work well depends at the mall next to Fashion Berry

Operation cash and carry

Manual labor from six to noon

Makin' six doubloons, got a baby that's fixin' to bloom

And he need 'fits to groom plus grips the spoon

So let me twist the ploom

And inhale and emit the fumes

[Chorus]

[Boots]

I was composed, I didn't even crack a frown

I was supposed to let my pants fall down

And show my ass when I found

That the baby was four months early and around ten pounds

I heard a lot of bad things about teenage mothers

From those who don't really give a fuck about life

They say "It ain't so much that they startin' out younger"

"It's just they supposed to be more like a wife"

Meanin' you ain't shit without a man to guide you

If ya mama tried to feed you that she lied too

Make ya grab any motherfucker that ride through

If jobs are applied to knots can get tied too

Plus I know that you must have been scared

It made it easy when the feelings were shared

Flashback to 20/20

I know you waitin' for the dollars cause you knew I had funny money

Yellin' all loud like I'ma tear the whole hood up

Don't tempt me cause the real daddy stood up

He said I was a mark for believin' in you

Now it's more that I'm seein' is true

There's a few things I'd like to say in this letter

Like I wish I would've seen him grow

And ask my wife I learned to fuck much better

And thank you for lettin' me go

Yeah, thank you for lettin' me go

For real, thank you for lettin' me go

What if Justin Bieber Has A Baby?

cross posted from my Media Justice column

If you are into popular culture in any way, or watch the news, you probably know who Justin Bieber is and that a young woman alleges 17 year old singer is the the progenitor* of her child. Reports claim that Bieber will take a paternity test, that 20 year old Mariah Yeater requests financial assistance for her child, and that young girls all over the world are pissed off at the young woman and are bullying her and making rationalizations to act out violently! Yeater claims she had sex with Bieber after a show he gave in Los Angeles, CA in a bathroom and that he stated specifically he did not want to use a condom because it was his first time and he wanted to “feel everything.”

I’m not on Team Bieber nor am I on Team Mariah Yeater. I’m not on any team besides Team Media Justice (yes that’s code for Team Bi). I created my team and I encourage readers to do the same. Figure out what all of the information is, and then think about how this information impacts our communities and work. That is what this post is about. What is going on regarding this child, the conversations around children of young parents, how are they supported, targeted, ignored, threatened, and what will we do to change that (if anything!?). An element of this hysteria among young people and Bieber is not that he’s no longer “available” (as he’s been openly dating Selena Gomez for the past several months). Rather, what do we lose if he is the progenitor of this child?

One of the things I do appreciate about Justin Bieber is that he not only demonstrates with his life how media can change one’s entire reality as he was “found” on YouTube (for the most part), but also that he’s been open about practicing abstinence and speaks on it freely and openly. I think it’s important for youth, especially young girls who identify right now as heterosexual, to have a image of a young person who is standing by the choice to be abstinent at this time. I think it’s useful to have this dialogue go on in popular culture that many pre-teens do consume especially at a time when comprehensive sexuality education is not offered for all youth in the U.S.

Something we do lose, I believe, is a huge pop culture icon that speaks and practices abstinence; a useful point of interest to begin discussions on the topic. Ignoring this is a huge problem for many of us working with and mentoring youth. Are we ready to discuss abstinence and how it may and may not work? I think it is safe to say he won’t lose too many fans or be shamed as Yeater and other young parents have been by our society, if the paternity test he takes demonstrates he did play a role in creating this child.

I’ve written about abstinence and talk about it often as I work because it is an option. This is one option many of us choose to practice at different times in our lives.

There are also some very clear messages going on about condoms here. Whether we want to admit it or not, youth hear things about condoms not feeling “good” or “real, even if they have never used them before. This is one reason why i’m in favor of youth having access to condoms, opening them, putting them on things (either themselves or even playfully/educationally on other things) to practice how to properly use condoms. I think it is important for youth to also see how easy it is to put a condom on incorrectly and how important lubrication is to their proper usage. These are all parts of being prepared. This is something not only young people can learn from, but all people. Let’s keep in mind that properly putting on a condom is not only for the person with the penis! Plus, there are also condoms that go into the vagina as well. Both of these require practice and a level of comfort to use them properly.

Yeater claims she asked Bieber to put a condom on for protection and he said no. This to me sounds like a sexual assault, yet folks are targeting her as the abuser for statutory rape as Bieber was 16 at the time and she 19. Don’t get it twisted, she asked to have a consensual sexual act occur with a barrier method to avoid pregnancy and potential STI and HIV transmission (not all STIs require one to have sex, see HPV, and not all people who are living positive with HIV had sex, there are many young people who are living positive and were born positive). Bieber’s alleged “no” in response to using a condom, his fame and power all may have played a role in the fear and discomfort Yeater may have experienced in telling him she no longer wanted to continue to have sex. Being afraid to say “no” during sex is a form of coercion. Please understand and recognize this. These allegations of Yeater being tried for statutory rape could result in up to one year in jail if chargers are pressed and Yeater found guilty. (And that’s just what we need, a young mother in jail away from her child).

The bullying, harassment, and namecalling Yeater is experiencing isn’t just from young fans. The media is also playing along and calling her “crazy”and diagnosing her mental health, judging her as a liar and shaming her as a young parent. This public harassment is ridiculous, and I hope those folks who are engaging in this behavior realize that there are responsibilities that come with using technology and the internet! Ya’ll know that any tweets you send are kept by the Library of Congress right?

“Experts” are even jumping onto this story and encouraging the isolation and harassment of Yeater. Family law specialist Debra Opri tells ABC News that she would not encourage her client to have a paternity test (she’s not Bieber’s attorney just a “expert” they looked to for comment) and states: “I wouldn’t make it easy for her whatsoever,” she said. “I would make her life miserable.” Riiiight. Because that’s EXACTLY what young mothers need: their life to be even more difficult. Good job Opri and all others who think the way she does. I hope that if you ever find yourself in a space similar to Yeater you are supported more than what is offered to her at this time.

Now, when it comes to supporting young mothers, I have to ask: do we really do what we can to support them? At the end of October I saw this image come across the internet with a ton of judgement, shaming, and name calling of young mothers of Color:



I don’t know who posted the image so foto credit is not given, but it is clear that these young pregnant people are proud of their experiences with their pregnancies. The person and people who have things to say about this image are in the thousands! I mean the title of the link alone and the commentary by the person who claims to have posted it states “dis a damnnnn shame.” Why is this shameful? Oh, because young women and pregnant people are taking pride in their experiences.

Perhaps I’m being extra sensitive to young pregnant people, many of which I work with and have supported in various ways. But also because my immediate family is expecting a child as well. Yes! I’m going to be a tia/auntie so there will be a post on children’s books for babies and kids of Color with same gender parents soon! I’m also aware that teen pregnancies and everything that goes with that from parenting, adoption, and termination are topics we must discuss equally. It’s also about being pro-choice. If we claim we are pro-choice then we must support decisions of parenting and pregnancy at all stages. This means supporting young mothers who choose to carry to term and parent.

What is wrong with young moms being proud and supporting one another? What is wrong with finding communities of practice based on our lived realities? What is wrong with sharing that pride? It’s too easy to prove the racism (internalized and otherwise) associated with racially Black women sharing such pride. It’s also too easy to show how our sexist society judges them as women. Would an image of several young fathers holding their infant children and posing in the mirror to take a foto of themselves in the bathroom have resulted in the same response?

As Loretta Ross of Sister Song has said “you can’t save Black babies by attacking Black women.” We also can’t save Justin Bieber (and I’m not interested in saving him or a lot of other people to be honest), but we can be mindful of how Yeater is treated and how post-paternity test she will be treated. What support are we able to offer Yeater, a young mom, and other young moms in our communities?

*I’m choosing to use this term because I don’t want to use the phrases “baby’s father,” “sperm donor,” or other phrases. This is because “father” is an identity not many may claim. I wish to avoid using it in the same way that anti-choicers claim and describe pregnant people are “moms” even if that term is not one they embrace. It is a tactic to shame and make the pregnant person assume an identity that they do not desire or embrace.

This Week in Latino Sexuality

I'm exhausted! Working five jobs this summer means there will be some months that I just can't get to write a blog post. I'm working on it, trust me. I have 3 blog posts on 3 great topics just in the "saved" mode. They are works in progress. Stay with me. Also, my birthday is in a week, well more like 6 days. Today is when July Leo's get to REPRESENT! Happy Birthday to all the July Leo's.

In the meantime; what do ya'll think of the new Latina vampire on True Blood? She made her premiere this past Sunday!

I'm going to go to 3 films for the New York International Film Festival, will anybody else be there? What films are you thinking of going to see? Do you have thoughts like I do about the lack of female directors on the 100+ film lineup?

Marty Klein has a new post about the sexuality content and themes in books and the reactions/perceptions of these texts by librarians and parents. My favorite quote:

The thing I said that apparently moved the audience most?
The two most important questions to teens are: “Who am I? Am I normal?”
In a healthy person, investigating and answering these questions must involve sexuality. And that sometimes involves arousal. Life is titillating. Teens have their radar up for eroticism; we can’t possibly eliminate it.

If you haven't yet, check out my review of Maxwell's new album: BLACKsummers'night.

Recently published was the Muslim Women Power List that includes 25 leading Muslim women from the UK. (and for those of you wonder, there are Latino Muslims!)

I'm glad to see that my work at the Child Welfare League of America almost 10 years ago is moving along to some extent. A new article addresses how teen pregnancy rates can decrease among teens in foster care (I wonder if they will include teens who identify as lesbian and/or bisexual because they can become pregnant too!)

Sadly, there are reports that the number of deaths among Latinos at work are increasing.


Finally, here are a few clips I'm using in my class when talking of objectification, agency, power, control, and women controlling the gaze. This is one of my favorite films about youth of Color, relationships, sexuality, and dating: Raising Victor Vargas!



I'm also using this clip from Girlfight to discuss the same topics. This film is *SO* powerful on numerous levels. Director Karyn Kusama is coming out with a new film soon! It's been too long that female directors don't get the support and recognition they deserve (take not NYILFF!)

Thoughts on 16 & Pregnant?

So, if you watched MTVs 16 & Pregnant what did you think? For those of you who have no clue what this show is about, view the trailer below.

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

Here are some resources if you are thinking of talking to a young person in your life regarding this topic.

May: Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month

I gave you 3 other events that are celebrated in May, and Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month is another. It deserves its own post, and I think goes hand in hand with Masturbation Month. There is even a Latino Initiative with a list of resources.


The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy always has free items for organizations and communities who want to spread the word on the issue (like the banners I found for this site). Here are a few highlights from their website:

If you are a parent, mentor, adult in a young person's life, they also have a Quiz you can take together, or that the young person in your life can take on their own. They offer scenarios for each question and the young people get to choose which way they would respond.

Watch the documentary Too Young which follows young mothers of different races and ethnicity discuss their experiences being a young parent, conversations with their parents that did/not help, and challenges they encounter. You also hear from a young father and the struggles he has with providing for his child.



Look at the Numbers:

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy's DCR Report (Data, Charts, Research), states that:

More than two-thirds of all pregnancies to African American women are unplanned (69%).

More than half of all pregnancies to Latina women are unplanned (54%).

Four in ten pregnancies to non-Hispanic white women are unplanned (40%).

SIDEBAR: "Latina women" is a double positive, and therefore grammatically incorrect. If you are saying LatinA you are already saying woman, it's a gendered term. If you say "Latino women" well then it's ok, but why when you can say "Latina"? This is an error many organizations make, so if you are attempting to reach us and our young Latinas, get the terminology together first. Also, what's the deal with using "Latina women" and then "non-Hispanic" terminology? Consistency would be nice, but I'd prefer "non-Latino" to replace "non-Hispanic" personally.


The Guttmacher Institute, which I have mentioned before, reports on pregnancy rates, birth rates, and abortion rates:

In 2002 (when the most recent data is available) 84% of Latinas who became pregnant gave birth.

In Puerto Rico alone, 60% of teens gave birth.

Of pregnant Latinas, 28.5% terminated their pregnancy

Not in their data, but I did find a CDC round up that shows Native youth have a birth rate of 55% and among Asian American youth the birth rate is 17%. All rates are for youth living in the US.

This is important data, because there is a lot of stereotypes about Latinas and their ideas and practices surrounding the option of abortion. This data challenges those stereotypes and shows that we are more complicated than they thought we were!

If you are looking for more information on the reproductive health of Native youth keep a look out for Native Youth Sexual Health it's coming soon!