Saturday, September 20, 2014

Lesson 6: Lessons Learned as a LatiNegra Sexologist


There are supportive and helpful and genuine racially white people in the field. You have the right to be cautious, but know they do exist. Choose carefully who to build among.

Life Lesson:

This seems to be a bigger issue and topic than I can give this brief discussion on. Yes, there are solid and supportive racially white folks in each field. In the sexology field, one that is overwhelmingly racially white, it will be exhausting trying to figure out who to trust. When you reach your point of needing a break from racially white folks in the field, during that break is when the solid ones will appear.

They will appear slowly, you would have heard of them (of course), but many of them are just "discovering" you and your work; this says more about them as sexologists than it says about you as one. But then there are folks who you were trained alongside, and some of those folks will be, from the beginning, as honest, transparent, respectful, and divesting in oppression as you can imagine. You will value their input, friendship, and insight for the rest of your life.

You do not need to teach them anything, they will come knowing they have work to do. They will come into your life not to take, but to help support you when you need it the most. They will give you the push you need, or the name of their publishing agent, or a workshop opportunity, or mentorship, or simply their undivided attention and respect. You will come to recognize the difference between the racially white folks who are just talking the talk and you will know who is really invested in doing the work and walking the walk along side you, not leading you, but walking next to you, side by side.

They will give you the space, time, resources they can for you to do what you need to do. They will bear witness and be open to the unlearning process. They may be few, but they are more than enough!

The racially white folks you have encountered and built with who you would recommend:

Cory Silverberg
Judith Steinhart
Jini Tanenhaus 
Bethany Stevens
Jenny Bornstein

For inquiries or to hire bi visit her site or email

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