Making Media To Expose Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Messages

cross posted from my RH Reality Check blog

Many readers may know that I write a column on Media Justice at the Amplify Your Voice site, which is supported/led by Advocates For Youth. The site is focused on youth-led writing around sexuality, sexual health, and reproductive justice. The handful of older adults who publish there, like myself, do so on topics affecting youth and providing spaces to have their opinions and ideas shared.

This week on Amplify, staff presented a new series of media-making that I adore. Using actual lesson plans, scripts, expected outcomes and goals of abstinence-only-until-marriage curriculums and programs taught in the United States, staff are creating animated videos. The animated videos are created through a (somewhat) free service called XtraNormal. Check out the first video they have created called “Drink The Spit” below:

As someone who values art in various forms and when community members and providers begin to create their own media, I find this new project exciting. I see this as one way to use the Internet and popular media outlets (YouTube, XtraNormal) to reach out to youth who may not already be connected to the Amplify site. When I first was introduced to the XtraNormal site it was through created animated conversations about instant messages some of my friends were having. They encouraged me to do my own video, which is one of the ways I found out the site is somewhat free, and attempted to create a similar video.

This approach is one I think can be useful for many of us working with youth and with technology. The site XtraNormal allows users to choose from various settings and characters (I picked robots for my trial video), and also provides options for dressing the characters, altering their voices, and choosing their location. These features can be useful tools for also discussing gender identity, roles, and expectations.

When producing and creating our own media, how do we express gender with the options we are provided in the program? In what ways do we choose to represent gender and why are those our motivations? What types of messages do we construct and what is our goal in doing so? These are questions I can see being useful in guiding such an activity as they are also centered in media literacy.

Watching the video above again, I asked myself what were some of the stereotypes I had listening to the animated cartoon bears speaking (that sentence makes me laugh). I assumed the three people that were characters (a daughter, a mother, and the teacher) were all women. The only character I can say I understand to be a woman is the teacher as the pronoun used is “she” and “her.” However, I assumed the student in the scenario was a young woman because of the voice and what looked to me as hair ribbons near the ears. The other character I now realize could be a friend or family member. The clothing sends a gender-neutral vibe and I thought about why I assumed all characters to be women.

There are many reasons I can think of for why I made such assumptions. I think it’s important to share with others that even educators and those of us who practice the skills we wish to teach youth, in this example media literacy, that sometimes we too get “caught up.” The way we have been socialized is still a process to be mindful of, especially when trying to create change.

The way I was socialized led me to the assumption that women speak openly and with one another in such scenarios about sexuality and health. That a parent would be the one who would be surprised/disgusted/frustrated at hearing such a story from a student or young person in their life. However, I know that young people talk with one another often and about the same topics. My first viewing of this video was from the perspective that I bring as an older adult working with youth and I had to remind myself that my perspective is just one, and that others exist and are just as correct and valuable as my own.

I’m hoping there will be at least one new video a week, but for now this is the first one. Check back at Amplify Your Voice to see when new videos are posted.

Teaching Abstinence

Cross posted from my Media Justice column

It’s not often that I have conversations about abstinence that are completely in-depth and devoted just to that topic. Often, the conversation is introduced in a larger conversation about choices, healing, sexual assault, contraception, and communication. As I prepare to teach a sexuality course at the private Catholic college I work at, I realize that I need to have a good selection of media (specifically songs) that discuss this reality.

Thus, I started to ask my friends about songs that discuss abstinence but that are also accessible and non-corny. When I do have conversations about abstinence I usually ask the youth I’m working with what type of sex they think people can have. I break down “sex” to include at the very least: vaginal penetration, anal penetration, and oral sex. We talk about how there are various body parts that people can do different things with by themselves or with a partner. I then share with them how some people think abstinence means maintaining their “virginity,” which is defined as a hymen. This means that some people may engage in oral or anal sex to remain a “virgin” and consider themselves abstinent. I share how it’s important for them to define how they want to define abstinence for themselves because potential partners may define it differently. It’s important to know what boundaries you have prior to someone asking to cross over them.

I’ve just fallen in love all over again with some classic songs I’ve been reminded of recently. As I prepare to teach a new summer course on sociology and sexuality these are some jams I’m thinking of teaching.

Janet Jackson’s “Let’s Wait Awhile” which features Taimak for those of you who are old enough to remember the fantabulous film “The Last Dragon.” Her lines “Let’s wait awhile, before we go too far. I didn’t really know to let all my feelings who. To save some for later, so our love could be greater” are amazing teaching tools that help promote discussions about assertive and passive communication.



Jermaine Stewart’s song that was suggested by my homegirl Sofia Quintero, who I’ve mentioned before. Now, there are a lot of possible reasons why Stewart sang this song and as one of my homeboys on twitter stated “of course he didn’t want to take his clothes off. He was gay!” At the same time there is something to be said that this is one of the only songs sung by a man that I can think of or have my homies think of as well about abstinence. He sings in his song “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off”: “we don’t have to take our clothes off, to have a good time. We could dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine….so come on baby show some class. Why you want to move so fast?” This song offers amazing opportunities to discuss and deconstruct what the terms “dance” and “party” mean to youth today and how they think he was defining them. It also welcomes a conversation about the use of various substances (i.e. cherry wine) and the law, which I’ve encouraged people to be aware of their Constitutional rights. Finally, the line about “class” is always interesting to hear how that is defined and presented by young people today in comparison to how it is presented in the video.



Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam had (and Lisa Lisa still has) an amazing musical history in my opinion. Their song “Take You Home” brings up so many topics I’ve used when working with high school students. Aside from talking about what one wants to do with a partner, what will the post-activities result in? How will the relationship end? But even more importantly for some youth, what does it mean to have a home to take someone to? What is a safe home?



Ciara’s “Goodies” came out at a time when I was pretty critical of some messages. I thought her message in her song “Goodies” was contradicted in her performance of Black femininity through her costuming in her video. Today I think there is still room for such a critique, but I’m on a different tip with the critique today. For example, in what ways does this song help us get a good understanding of how powerful this message was during the time it was released? Ciara sings: “I bet you want the goodies.Bet you thought about it. Got you all hot and bothered. Mad cause I talk around it. Looking for the goodies. Keep on lookin' cuz they stay in the jar.” I remember hearing young girls of Color I worked with at a public charter school in Washington, DC singing this hook in the hallways of the school. How was this song an important coping mechanism for remaining abstinent, for affirming their choices at a time when they were getting conflicting messages in other ways?



For those of you who are reggaetonfans, you already know who Ivy Queen, one of, if not THE, first lady of reggaeton. I used this song in a class I co-taught back in 2005 with my homegirl Ryan because she’s talking about dancing and her motivations. The song is “Quiero Bailar” which translates into “I Want To Dance.” For non-Spanish speakers the loose translation of the hook is “I want to dance, you want to sweat, if I say yeas you can lead me that doesn’t mean that I’m going to bed with you.” Now I’d like to say this is an anthem for the dancefloor, but I really can’t confirm or deny that. I know that for my homegirls who I dance with it is an important song for us to cut a rug to. It’s like it’s the “ladies choice in dance partner” selection, where a majority of the women choose to dance on their own, a free dance if you will. Or maybe that’s my fantasy dancehall situation….



In a more classically “you haven’t earned my love” is En Vogue’s “Never Gonna Get It.” In addition to being an amazing all-woman band (that may of my homies and I are still nostalgic for) this song is one of those songs that have also become a verb. My homegirls and I have said “it’s about to get so never gonna get it up in here” so many times and we knew exactly what the other meant! Although used at times as a “diss” I can see some important messaging in this song especially about agency and self-determination.



What abstinence-centric songs do you have to suggest? I’ll totally give you citation credit for putting me onto your suggestions!

Monday's Keynote Experience

I mentioned that this Monday I was the Keynote speaker at the Get The Facts NY Youth Leadership Conference. There were over 250 young people from all over New York state demanding comprehensive sexuality education in Albany. To say that this experience was amazing is an understatement.

To be around so many young people dedicated to the field I am committed to, who want to create change, who are demanding their human rights be respected and upheld is a level of rejuvenation that is really difficult to explain/express. I didn't have a mentor of Color who could help me with some of the many challenges and hurtles I experienced entering the field, and it is something I am very dedicated to. We need MORE sexuality educators who are of a diverse background, experience, and location.

One of the highlights was meeting so many youth and fabulous people in the field. After I spoke there were several young people of Color, young Puerto Ricans, young women, young men of Color on their way to college that wanted to ask me questions and talk with me about my career and activism paths. Many of them said "it was so cool to hear you speak" because they identified with some part of who I am: daughter of immigrants, bilingual, LatiNegra, Puerto Rican, went to higher ed, a woman of Color, living in NYS, and the list goes on. Youth DO need to see people who affirm their identity in this work!

So far I've had 3 young people contact me after the conference. One called me and we spoke for an hour and I mentored him as he started a blog. When it's up I'll share the link. Two others have connected with me on social media. You can also see what folks tweeted about the conference using the hashtag: #gtfny10


Here's one of the first videos that was created. You'll see me all giddy, because it was really an amazing high to be in that space, and sounding all "valley girlish" as I like to say. You also hear from the youth and they share their experiences and what they learned from the conference. There was also additional footage from other media outlets that you can see here.



I'll post some of my comments from my keynote shortly!

Part 2: One Persons “diversity” is Another’s Klan Rally

Go read part one of my adventures in Arizona at the Sex Conference.

Friday had arrived and I was ready to attend the conference. I wore one of my favorite dresses for the warm weather. It is low with a v-neck but conceals my tattoos enough that I’m not stared at even more than I already am. It also allows me the opportunity to wear my favorite liquid silver necklace I got on my first trip to AZ in February.

In the package that I waited a long time for was information on the conference, my nametag and pronoun stickers.




There was a continental breakfast so that saved me money, which I appreciated. The first session I went to began at 8:30 am and focused on female survivors of cancer. The presenter focused on ways that clinicians and physicians can assist survivors in their body image challenges. I learned a lot in this one-hour presentation. The presenter had a UKish accent and was very interactive in her presentation. My only note of how it could have been improved according to the evaluation form was for the presenter to discuss keloids for women, especially women of Color at the site of their incision and surgery.

I chose to wait in line to speak with the presenter but decided against it when I realized there were several of us who wanted to speak with her. I moved onward to my next session in the sea of White bodies. I told myself: “I knew what to expect, I knew there would be limited faces like mine, and I knew to take deep breaths to cope with the space.”

This session was on sexological worldview and how sexologists come to create and utilize a world view. It was at this session that I saw the first men of Color at the conference. This session was very engaging. The presenter was a peer, about my age who had just earned his doctoral degree (EdD) and was sharing part of his finding from his qualitative analysis for his dissertation. The presenter Justin Sitron, is now full time faculty at Widener University, which is one of the only schools on the east coast that provides such higher education training in sexology. I have more to say on this as the facilitator of the session was his mentor and an important figure in the field of psychology and sexuality. Why do women of Color I know not have this same type of support by our women of Color faculty mentors?

He interviewed about 30 sexologists by asking those on the AASECT listserv to meet with him. It was a very colorfree sample with only 5 participants identified as “non-white” (which we know could mean anything). He provided the worldview as a process similar to the process I’ve heard when speaking about cultural competence. He was very receptive to feedback and inquires about his work. I asked him about his sample, reflexivity, how his gender identity and expression may have impacted his sample. I shared how race and class was not ever mentioned in the sample and information presented and how that may speak to where the sexological field in the US is currently. It was this session that I heard a White woman say that this was the “most diverse AASECT conference she has been to in 9 years.” This shocked me. After the session a woman from the SAR came up to me as we exited sharing that I had very good questions.

My next session was on disability. There were several images used that I found encouraging of people with disabilities loving and living. In addition, a conversation about feminist theory, disability theory, and transhuman and embodied theories which I had not been familiar with until I came to this session. I also learned: when people with disabilities adopt children with disabilities they proactively embrace discussions of sexuality, disability, and their children being sexual beings. I don't know many able-bodied parents who do this! In addition, I learned a few new things about Helen Keller: She was an anarchist and had many lovers. Why do they exclude that part of her history in stories about her?

Although lunch was catered I chose to have a quiet lunch in the hotel restaurant. They used real fresh sea salt on their french fries. I sat by myself and admired the older woman across from me who was doing the same thing. The men who were working at the restaurant were pleasant and helpful. It is the south after all, even if it is the southwest. After lunch I decided on my last two sessions, both the only sessions about race that day. The first was on teaching race, class and gender within the context of sexuality and history, the second was about how African American women use e-health to obtain information on sexual health.

I saw some women from the SAR waiting around to attend their next session, which was not the session I was going to. The session on teaching using intersectional frameworks and theories (terminology the presenter never mentioned) was a very 101 level for me. After all, I have taught these subjects for my entire teaching career (over 10 years) simultaneously versus in silos. This is the way I teach. The presenter was an older man who has been in the field for decades and just recently received AASECT certification. This I appreciated hearing him say as it is my situation. He was open to questions during his presentation and I took advantage of that.

Unfortunately, I was worried that his take on history started with exploration, conquest and colonization. When I asked him about this he said he only had 12 days to prepare for his class. The he went to a large corporate bookseller and purchased the first book he saw on sexuality and history (I can only imagine how colorfree the text is). I did not come back and share that I only had two days to put together a similar syllabus and was equally if not more successful in incorporating the themes in various forms. I asked him how/if students responded to him as a White man teaching about race, gender, class and sexuality as my students often say in course evaluations that “this is a class on sexuality not on race” or that in my class there was “too much focus on race.” I take these evaluations to be a compliment on the colorfree education they received and how my teaching challenges that comfort and expectation.

One thing I did appreciate about this session was that I met so many people. There were educators in the room that I met and know I will have in my circle of colleagues for a very long time. One person came to speak with me as her question was about Margaret Sanger and how her students are shocked to learn her role in the Eugenics Movement as this is rarely discussed. I shared with her that my students have the same reaction and we spend a week on the topic and read parts of Jennifer Nelson’s work on nationalist communities in the US working towards reproductive rights in the 1960s and 1970s. She uses the same text and we have the same student reaction. Interesting how one article can trigger such a response in students.

I also met women of Color who were instructors and had the same challenges I did with students claiming they spoke too much about race. We exchanged cards, sat next to one another and prepared for the second session on race, which was in the exact same room. Prior to that session starting I went to sign in and met Judith Steinhart. She came up to me and told me she had heard me at the Guttmacher Exchange and did not have a chance to talk with me after my questions. We swapped information and went to our seats. Judith was sitting in the same session as I was as well.

The final session about African American women was amazing! I thought it could have been two hours versus the one it was given. A presentation filled with examples of media images, how communities access information, how women of Color have multiple messages sent to them, and how we read into them. This was a session I could have been a part of for the entire day. This is where the most women of Color and people of Color were at during the conference and I was there too! I can’t begin to share how rejuvenated I felt. I originally felt hurt, ignored, invisible, exhausted, isolated, and in the wrong space. I left feeling the complete opposite after just 2 hours. If you don’t know of the website Our Health Our Lives you do now.

Having community makes a difference.

Part 3 of the Sex Conference will discuss what has changed, what work is being done and the activism that’s taking place as we speak for diversifying the field of sexology in the US.

What Happens At The Sex Conference Doesn't STAY At The Sex Conference

It’s been a few weeks since I came back from the “Sex Conference” I went to and wanted to share some of my experiences. I’ve broken it into pieces so this is easier to read. I’ll start with the flight, hotel, and SAR in this piece. The next pieces will be the conference experience and third introspective analysis.

The Flight

I have a crush on Lenny the flight attendant. He’s probably 50 or older, he’s about 6’2, has a goatee, salt and pepper hair, nice frame, silver wire glasses, light brown skin, a NYC accent, and a wedding band. I want to be his luva. I’ll rub a few out for masturbation month to him. If only he knew! I need to make a series of cards called “cat daddy” cards that I’ll hand out to attractive older men. Kind of like a membership badge or something. Maybe Erika Lopez will be into this idea and help out! Lenny is what Erika would call a “meat dog” which she defines as “guys who reek of sex and just broadcast their "meat dogness.” It’s a compliment. They never apologize for their testosterone.” I also had a crush on the security broad who took my luggage to check. She opened it and was greeted by my bra, panties and silky draws. She then told me my tattoo was “interesting” we were scoping one another out. The airport is always a hard sell for me when flirting cause, I mean it’s hit or miss.


I didn’t have anybody sitting next to me on the plane, but then some buster got on the plane at the last minute and took the seat next to me. It was this famous broad Rev. Debra Haffner. She runs the Religious Institute on Sexual Morality, Healing, and Justice. She doesn’t know who I am but I know who she is as I first saw/met her in Cuba at the World Association of Sexual Health (formerly World Association of Sexology) conference (where I presented in Spanish I might add). Her hair was curly and I instantly liked her more as when I’ve seen her she straightens her hair. She was on the Cuba flight too and I remember her telling my homeboy Brad and I to “go to the AASECT conference because it’s 10x better than WAS.” I’ll share my comparison to that when I’m done sharing my experience. She left when Lenny suggested she move to another seat so that, as Lenny said “we all have more elbow room” which I think is code for the fact that I’m fat. Yet it was true because my elbow would have stabbed her in her left ear over and over for 5 hours straight. That would not have made me comfortable, not cause she’s a reverend, fellow sexologist, or older than me; but because not everybody’s curls are the same and I honor the “don’t touch my hair” stance.


Hot & Arid-Zona

My homegirl Elena picked me up from the airport and we went to Target and ate at a spot whose name I can’t remember but I know it’s not on the East Coast. I had to purchase some toiletries since the security in NYC made me toss stuff, plus I got some grub so I wouldn’t have to spend too much money during the conference. We headed to the hotel and Elena dropped me off. It was Tuesday and I wouldn’t see her again until after work on Friday. After I checked in the first thing I did was take my clothes off. It was HOT in AZ, I’m talking 100 degrees hot even with air conditioning. I called a high school friend to see when we could meet up, as I haven’t seen her since 1996! I then cooled off and went straight to the pool. It was all good for 2 hours until some frat boys came to do cannon balls in the shallow part of the pool. I slept well that night and the wine I drank with my high school homegirl sure helped!

Day 1 & 2: SAR

To get certification you are expected to attend a SAR, which stands for Sexual Attitudes Reassessment. It’s usually a 10-hour session with a group of people where you explore and discuss various topics on sexuality and sexual health. I couldn’t find anyone who was offering this in NYC and decided to do it in AZ. They are not cheap at $450, so I had to decide to use some emergency funds/health care money/birthday money to pay to attend this event. When I went to the registration desk, I was the first person to register and folks were excited I got the ball rolling. In order to get my packet they had to find my name on a list of folks who paid and they did, but they did not find a packet had been made for me. This frustrated me because I paid $650 total just for the SAR and conference not including hotel, travel and food. It’s a lot of money, shoot that’s rent! I had to come back to get a packet. Unfortunately, when I came back they still didn’t have one ready for me. They told me that I would have it before the SAR began that evening.

I can’t express how imperative it is that folks who spend so much money are treated with dignity and respect. The two White women who were attempting to help me could not have been more opposite. One was extremely helpful the other extremely dismissive.

I have to admit; this registration experience left me feeling invisible.

The first evening of the SAR there were about 50 people in the room not including the facilitator, Dr. Eli Coleman. I got there a bit late since the registration desk staff did not give me adequate directions to find the room. I took a seat in the back. There was a film playing of people dancing. I read the bodies of those dancing as racially White. I looked around the room and counted 5 other women of Color. This made me feel relief. There were no men of Color, and less than 10 men in total in the group. It was difficult to assess the age of members in the group, but I came to the understanding that I was part of the “younger” crowd of 30-somethings.

I don’t want to tease out the entire SAR, but I do want to mention a few things that stood out for me. First, this space allowed for a lot of group work and one-on-one work as well. You get to know almost everyone in the group over the 10 hours fairly quickly. Here’s what I experienced:

1. When I shared my age with two women over 50 in an activity, I was told: “you have a baby face” when I said part of the reason I eroticize getting older is because I believe I can find acceptance as a sexologist among my older peers.

2. When I shared that I received more messages about my body not because I was fat, but because I was brown, two of the three White women in my group said: “that’s fascinating.” Really? It’s called racism. It’s not that fascinating.

3. When talking about kink in a group of five people, all White, with one man who is active in the community, I mentioned how race play is rarely ever discussed within the community and that challenges the ideas that kink communities are so inclusive, they have their isms too. The man in the group started to look around the room and exhale loudly as I began to speak (not after, WHILE I was speaking).

4. When my group of 5 all White members agreed that I would be the “lead” on a condom demonstration, one of the White women completely ignored what I was saying by leaving the group, checking her telephone, and when she returned she was loudly saying what was wrong with her condoms over others who were speaking. When I mentioned the expired condoms she had in her box (over 1 year old) may not be nice to the touch if opened, she said: “Really, is that right?” and proceeded to open the package. Ten minutes later she had to go wash her hands cause they were so skuzzy.

5. I ate lunch alone.

It was a less than exceptional yet expensive experience. There was an attempt to include communities of Color in the images and media presented, but they were so few and far between (and very Black/White). There was absolutely no Asian, Southeast Asians, Native American Indians. There were a handful of people (read no more than 2) with disabilities, who were fat and who were Latinos. There was an abundance of parents, White people, White children, and specific videos/images of transgender people, LGBTQI people, older White adults, and men in wheelchairs. I wrote this as something to improve the SAR. I also suggesting updating the data provided, as there were citations from almost 20 years ago! I wonder if once you become someone who is so “popular” and well known in the movement if things like quoting old data is a pass you get. Perhaps it’s age, as I’ve heard many older White sexologists say their age allows them a pass to act like a fooligan and they use that pass all.the.time.

As someone who is working-class, an activist, a person of Color, a woman, a person with a disability, a fat person, someone committed to media and social justice, this experience was very “tip of the iceberg.” Think of cultural competence training but with a focus on sexuality. All of the discussions on “culture” were focused outside the US as if we don’t have enough culture to discuss here. Images of people in Thailand, Mexico, and from the Pacific Islands were presented. It was very “othering” of communities of Color by older White men or more specifically from a White gaze. Perhaps if I experienced this 10 years ago when I was just starting out in the field would this have had more of an impact, then again I had a tons of consciousness-raising experiences growing up and at home.

What I did appreciate about this space was that I had folks to say “hi” to during the conference the next day. They also fed us breakfast, lunch and snacks, which cut down on my expenses. I also realized that a SAR especially for people of Color and sexologists of Color is imperative. I also realized SARs do not have to be so expensive. There can be ways to make the SAR a collective and affordable experience. However, making connections with folks was difficult as many people already knew others there or had come with a group. I was among my peers but I was still alone. I ate dinner alone and went to my room and began to write.

My next post will focus on my experience at the actual conference. Boy did things take a 360 turn for the better!

Friday Juicy Goodness

This morning I woke up to so much good stuff in my inbox and on the television. The first good thing I came to was a story about a young 17 year-old woman of Color, Fallon Smith, who created a 11 minute documentary in her school in Upper Marlboro, MD on sexuality and unprotected sex. She then worked with the students interviewed, had them trained to be sexual health advocates, then worked with her school to host an event where her documentary was shown to students and conversations were led on sexuality. I'm begging someone, anyone to give her a scholarship! If I had some money or access to resources that could help her I would send them her way. She's an amazing example for young activists!

Next, I got this email asking for urgent action to be taken by us to stand in support of President Obama's efforts to cut spending on abstinence-only education. Advocates for Youth have sent out this note and have helped generate letters so you can send to your congressional representatives.

In a more gender-equal-but-canceled-out-cause-of-gender-stereotyping news, Depends adult support has created new ads targeting both men and women. Historically I've only seen ads geared towards women and incontinence. Now they are including men as they have made Depends for men. Yet, these ads are a bit troubling in a gender stereotyping way. Take a look:

This one is with people of Color called "Driver"




This one is called "Rules the World"and has hints of heterosexism




FYI, to everyone with a vulva, if you are not yet at a place where you need Depends products, you can work on strengthening your PC muscles, which if they are weak, when we sneeze or cough, we may have a bit of urine that escapes from the urethra. You may have heard of Kegel exercises, but they do work and are helpful for childbirth and recovering from childbirth. You must do them right first! I learned this just a few years ago. When I do them right I feel pressure (and pleasure sometimes) near my clitoris and my tension extends all the way back to my bum, but that's how I know I'm doing them correctly!


Just like Depends, PC muscle exercises are not just for people with vulvas, people with penis can also work on their PC muscles to help with any "dribble" after ejaculation, help with pre-mature ejaculation (early ejaculation), and helping with your orgasms. You can do PC exercises without anyone knowing you are doing them!


Then, my homegirl Erika Lopez, announced she would share some of her works in progress live this weekend. So if you are in California, the Mission/San Francisco area, check her out at Make Out Room, 3225 22nd street, 7:30, San Francisco, CA. Also, follow her on twitter for other engagements & rants.

Sunday Night Common Sense

When I was not working I subscribed to get a ton of magazines for free. I had lots of big plans for art projects, I still do. But right now as I'm working the magazines are in my bathroom or taking up space in a corner. In the bathroom this week is May 2009 issue of Interview Magazine. The first full interview I read was with Yusuf Islam "the artist formally known as Cat Stevens" reads the first sentence in the headline.

Interview asked Islam:

"Why are spirituality and sexuality so often at odds with each other? It seems that most spiritual belief systems have a difficult time integrating those two energies."

Islam's response is this evening's Common Sense. He says:

"The sexual act--separating that from love itself--is centered solely in the body, whereas spirituality is connected to the whole self. Whether it's a female, a taste, or a sound, all these beautiful things affect our self. We are the perceivers of beauty, and that's why sex doesn't quite go far enough. You can go much further with the spiritual."

This is one of the best arguments for masturbation if I've ever heard one. I interpret this as an attempt to share with us how we separate the love from the act of sex. We can practice how to not seperate those two right now! You can merge the body, love, and the spirit and have an amazing orgasm. Get to work! May is Masturbation Month!

Lessons of Hate

Today I had a guest speaker from SIECUS, my homeboy Max, visit my class and students. He shared with us the work he does at SIECUS and showed this film to my class:


Lessons of Hate in the Bible Belt from Stuart Productions on Vimeo.


Have you heard of this issue? Debra Taylor has not been reinstated. One of the things you may notice from watching the video is that the students in the class are from diverse ethnic and racial backgrounds. Max shared with us that when he spoke with Debra Taylor, she shared that a majority of the youth at the school are Latino, Native, and Black with a sprinkle of White students. Some of the fears among the students in the class who heard the superintendent say he "hated queers" were Latino and some are not documented and do not feel comfortable talking out against someone of his authority and power. I definitely understand that! I can't recall being a very vocal young person to such people in power at my school either.

If our youth have teachers who want to teach respect for all people, but school authorities are pulling the cord on such efforts, if organizations like GLSEN exist, but schools enforce web monitors that filter out sites that have certain words such as "gay," "lesbian," and "bisexual" so students cannot access these spaces, I can't help but wonder if our schools are perpetuating the death of our youth. Many have argued that schools are breeding grounds for incarceration, they can also be breeding grounds for murder, and with abstinence-only programming, as former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, MD states, a breeding ground for child abuse.