Self Love Sex Toy Giveaway!

The fabulous folks at Adam & Eve have donated several toys for our readers and followers! Our first round of giveaways will be with my homegirls at Hip Hop is for Lovers Uche & Leneé! Tune in TONIGHT to see how you can win!

There will be other ways to win coming up so make sure to keep an eye out for those opportunities! There are 3 toys you could win (you will get one of the 3 at random if you are a winner):

A&E Silicone Diamond G Vibrator 

Rotating G Spot Rabbit Vibrator

A&E Silicone G Luxe Vibe

What Is Appropriate For A Human Sexuality College Course?

cross posted from my RH Reality Check blog

What is considered appropriate when in a college classroom, especially one dedicated to human sexuality? I think about this often; this idea of “appropriateness” and how it is connected to power, especially my power as the professor. When my homegirl Jenny sent me a story about a Northwester psychology professor, J. Michael Bailey providing students with an optional after-class demonstration of a woman being sexually penetrated to orgasm by a sex toy, this question arose again for me.

My initial reaction was to ignore this story. I thought: “I don’t really care all that much what other professors do in their classrooms.” But then, I quickly caught myself and I realized that I do really care how what goes on in other classrooms because they may impact what I do in my own. I think of the young woman in my class this semester who was told by another professor she wasn’t allowed to come to class because she hadn’t paid her tuition bill in full, as a result the young woman missed all of her classes for a week. The professor was wrong to tell her this, we were told not to tell students they could not come, yet this professor did the opposite and as a result the student was not present in my class either a week before midterms were to begin.

It’s important what other professors do in their class. It is important to me what professors do in their classes, especially if their students enter my class, but also because I value education and there may be a lot of unlearning we may have to do together.

So, in reading the events that took place and the responses from the Northwestern community, faculty, and administration a few things stand out to me. First, this is a college that seems to have merged the importance of teaching with the importance of research. One description of the campus from the website reads:

Northwestern University combines innovative teaching and pioneering research in a highly collaborative environment that transcends traditional academic boundaries. It provides students and faculty exceptional opportunities for intellectual, personal and professional growth in a setting enhanced by the richness of Chicago.

After spending my undergraduate time and then a short time in a PhD program (which I did not finish but earned another master’s degree) at the University of Maryland, I realized very clearly this is a research university. I was able to tell the difference clearly only after my first master’s degree from NYU, a teaching college. The focus on teaching versus research at NYU, or rather the centering of training educators to be educators and then do research in my department, was clear to me. I felt more comfortable and in the right place. At a research institution, where research is centered and pushed first then education, I was quickly out of my element and lost.

I know there are people who excel in research centered higher ed, and then there are folks like me who are more comfortable in teaching centered spaces. As a result, I believe Professor Bailey had education and teaching at the center of his after-class demonstration.

Second, the topic of age and consent are important. I know very well that my introductory courses have students who are just turning 17 (yes they were born in 1994, talk about feeling old, I REMEMBER 1994 very clearly!), yet it is rare when the 200-and upper-level courses I teach (one the Sociology of Human Sexuality at the 300 level) has students under 18 years old. As a result, the students who chose to attend class were consenting adults. And don’t we, as sexual health professionals, educators, activist, focus on consent? Don’t we envision and hope for a world where people are given options and information to make the best decision for them and that is consent and we must respect it? I think so. I hope so. And I think just as much as exchanging a bodily fluid or a sexual encounter with someone requires consent, so does watching a sexual encounter, and that consent is just as important and in no way less valuable.

Educational value is another component that I think of. Many folks could sit in one of my classes and argue that my centering the (Dave) Chappelle Show season 2 to discuss issues in sociology is inappropriate and lacks educational value. They could definitely make this argument regarding language as I teach at a Catholic college. However, I argue that the value in incorporating such images and narratives is to help my students gradually build media literacy skills, to be critical of representations they often interact with (although the skits are now almost 7 years old!) and deconstruct them so they can make sense of the world based on their values and beliefs. I believe that it is our responsibility as professors to share information, challenge students to examine information and texts, and help them understand their dis/comfort with various topics. One of the items I write in my syllabus and share with my students at the beginning of and throughout the semester is that we will discuss topics that are going to be uncomfortable, controversial, and may make them experience a range of feelings and emotions and all of these are valid. Professor Bailey made asimilar statement in his syllabus.

Third, the educational value of having a live action demonstration is numerous. I think many students can learn about how human sexual response works, or doesn’t in some folks who are experiencing different challenges. There is also the value of understanding how some forms of adult toys can be used or misused. The focus on female sexual pleasure is one that I find extremely useful and one that is often mystified,pathologized, or simply ignored. I wonder how some of the negative responses may be connected to disapproving of female sexual pleasure, or the idea that a woman can experience pleasure on her own.

This of course is connected to an attempt to normalize masturbation. I would hope that promoting masturbation, one of the safest sexual experiences we can promote with one of the most important sexual partner we will have, would be supported. Then there is the idea that nudity can be comfortable. In a society where people are being bombarded with drastic weight loss commercials, plastic surgery for genitals, and a general focus on standards of attraction and beauty, nudity seems to be promoted as acceptable only for a select few. What if our society had more young people and adults who found pride in their nude bodies versus flaws? Imagine how this could have a positive impact in self-esteem, mental health, and reduce various forms of stress.

Let us not forget that such demonstrations are not rare. They were often how early sexuality research and training were provided decades ago. Plus,Annie Sprinkle centered her work on providing demonstrations to audiences using her own body as a model for understanding the vulva, vagina and cervix.

Finally, I believe the educational value of this after-class demonstration helps to make clear that sex work is work. If the sex work being seen is from the perspective of a adult toy creator/developer or someone who may be a performer/educator/sex surrogate (I don’t know the background of the woman providing the demonstration), all of these, to me, fall under the category of sex work.

At the end of the day, for me, the issue is that this being at an institution for higher education is a privilege and one that comes with various forms of experiences and responsibilities. The idea of deciding as a professor what is appropriate comes with responsibility. I believe that Professor Bailey made an appropriate demonstration available to students in a class that focused on the subject of sexuality at a university that welcomes various opportunities for their students. He has provided an educational opportunity that speaks to the campus goal of “transcend traditional academic boundaries.” I don’t know if I had the same opportunity if I would make a similar decision, but then again I don’t have full professor status, tenure, or desire that specific status.

I’d like to hear what others think about this topic. I’m sure, as usually happens, with more time other topics make come up that will impact my perspective. Yet, as of now, I feel confident in the three areas I’ve mentioned, but would like to hear others share.

Review: The Kama Sutra Weekender Kit

The first time I owned a Kama Sutra item was a large bottle of Sweet Almond Massage Oil that I won at a training for sexual health professionals. This was about 2 years ago. I remember the smell being so wonderful that I didn’t care what the oil was for; I knew I had to own it and take it home with me. It remains here because it is amazing oil and lasts a long time, as just a bit is all you need!

When I was offered the opportunity to review additional products from The Adult Toy Shoppe, and I saw The Kama Sutra Weekender Kit it was one of my first choices! It’s rare when I find a kit like that that I know will have quality products of which I will enjoy all of them. I reviewed The Original Weekender Kit and when the package arrived I was surprised by the size.

The Kit is not much larger than a deck of cards. It is about an inch thicker, but the length is a definitely pocketsize. This was surprising for me, as I didn’t realize it would be so compact and I wondered if there would be enough of each item for me to do a good review. When I thought of travel size I assumed the size of items you would get at a drug store to put your shampoo in, or the size of items a hotel may give you. These are about half that size. Inside the Kit was the following:

• Original Oil of Love (clear bottle container with green fluid)
• Spearmint Stimulating Pleasure Balm (circular container with green gel)
• Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust (circular container with golden powder)
• Feather Applicator
• Sweet Almond Massage Oil (clear bottle container with yellow fluid)
• Love Liquid Sensual Lubricant (mauve colored bottle container)

The Kit was sealed in plastic and the box that it came in was sturdy and thick. It opens as a book would in the center and small travel size containers of each item are included. Each individual item comes either sealed in their own plastic (i.e. Oil of Love, Pleasure Balm, Honey Dust) while the massage oil and lubricant were not sealed in plastic they had a sturdy covering that held the liquid in place that the screw on cap held down so nothing would pour out. The feather applicator was not sealed and sat on top of the items.

There is a white card that covers the items and that shares with you what is inside. The card also offers suggestions for how to use each item for the best result. I found this a nice touch to the Kit, but the font is extremely small on this card, so if you have a hard time reading small print, keep this in mind. I had to wear my glasses and had the card pretty close to my face to read it properly.

I’ll admit that I was very excited to test out each of these items, and only one left me a bit weary: the spearmint stimulating pleasure balm. I’ve tried and reviewed similar items and although they are supposed to offer not only a taste of spearmint, but they are also expected to stimulate certain sensitive parts of the body (i.e. nipples). The latter has rarely ever worked for me, yet for some reason when I apply it to my lips there is a tingling sensation that I imagine is what is to occur if you were to put them on your nipples.

So, when I first opened the Spearmint Stimulating Pleasure Balm, I smelled it and a strong spearmint scent accompanies the thick yet light gel. The container is the size of a US $1 dollar coin, a bit larger than a quarter, so there is not too much product, but enough for you to get a few uses out of. I put the product on my lips by dabbing a bit at the bottom of my lip and pressing my lips together. Almost instantly I felt a tingling sensation that I expected and it lasted a good amount of time, at least 15 minutes.

After I put the spearmint on my lips, I started to open the other items. I carefully opened the Oil of Love, which has a plastic cover and a cork that holds the fluid in. Be cautious and careful opening the cork from the container as the fluid may fall out if you are not. The scent of the Oil of Love is light and pleasant; almost a musky scent, but not one that is overpowering or that stays for a long period of time. The way to use this Oil is to apply it to any part of your body and rub in. Then, you or a partner(s) can blow on that area and the area with the oil will warm up.

I tried this quickly on my hand and could not tell a big difference between the hand that I put it on and blew versus blowing on my other hand with no oil. I added a bit more and realized that the more oil you apply to a smaller area and rub in and then blow as your rub results in the best warming sensation. I was worried there would only be enough of the product for one experience with my partner.

I then opened the Sensual Lubricant and there was no odor whatsoever from this product, which I like. The oil is clear, light and at first touch seems to be a sturdy product that can last a long time. This is the only item that is made specifically for the genitals, all the other items can be used on your genitals, but were not made especially for those areas.

I didn’t open the massage oil until later because I knew what to expect, so instead I went for the Honeysuckle Dust with Feather Applicator. This is another container to be cautious about opening as the golden dust inside can fall out easily and get everywhere. Now, I don’t mind having shiny dust all over me if I’m in my “house gear” or naked, but getting this on some work wear or items that need to be dry cleaned is another story for some folks. The dust fell out a bit and onto my fingers, but this offered a good opportunity to rub it on my palms and see how long the scent lasts and if my skin felt soft as advertised or if there was a taste.

Impressed with how light the dust was, it did stay a long time keeping my palms dry and smooth. Even after about 10 minutes I licked my palms and there was a subtle and sweet flavor that was pretty yummy! The feather applicator works as an applicator for the dust, but also as a tickler on it’s own.

So, to start, I began with a product that my partner and I felt most comfortable exploring: the Lubricant. It is latex safe, water-based, and light. I had to be more goal oriented since there is only a little bit of lubricant in the Kit. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough of the lubricant for me to even give a good hand job. I’m not sure if it is because my hands began to sweat a bit, or if I had higher hopes for the lube, or if it just didn’t mesh well with us and what we needed, but I found myself having to add more and more lube because it did not last very long or stay very slick for too long either. This was disappointing and took up a lot of time that I don’t think was really necessary. I mean it wasn’t hard to be sneaky about adding more lube since the bottle is so small, but it was less than erotic to me to know I needed more. I was left thinking I could have done a better job on my own. A positive aspect was that it didn’t stain the sheets or our clothing and was washable.

The Spearmint Stimulating Pleasure Balm was not my favorite item, this and the Lubricant I could do without. However, that is just me, I know several people who do have good outcomes and experiences with such pleasure balms. However, I don’t see myself using this product again, in any flavor.

The Oil of Love is latex-safe, it is only called “oil” to describe the texture, but it is water-based and good to use with any of your other toys or prophylactics. One of the reasons the oil has a green tint is because it is made of chocolate, vanilla and cinnamon. We had a good time playing around with it and seeing how hot certain spots could get. We learned that it helps if you have not recently brushed your teeth, but rather have not had anything to eat or drink (although we didn’t try drinking something warm then blowing on the spot). Just as I had expected, there was not enough in the Kit to explore different spots, but it is definitely one of the items that I would want to get in a larger size to use again and again. This is hypoallergenic, dermatologist tested, and did not leave a sticky residue nor did it stain the sheets or our clothing. It comes in six other flavors and scents that you can purchase at The Adult Toy Shoppe for less than $35.

My absolute favorite item in this kit is the Sweet Honeysuckle Honey Dust. There is so much to do with this powder, and I like that it’s got some shimmer, so you can wear it before a date or throughout the day. The size is good and you can refill it and carry it with you wherever you need to go without it taking up too much space! In general, this item for me was the most fun, and applying it with the Feather Applicator was enjoyable as well. It is hypoallergenic; dermatologist tested and should only be used externally.

Do I have to tell you how much I also adore the Sweet Almond Massage Oil? I’ve owned it for over two years and having it in a smaller size in this Kit was a great addition. Now I can refill the smaller container whenever I need to and I can travel wherever I want with the individual container. You can purchase a larger 8-ounce bottle from The Adult Toy Shoppe for less than $20.

Refillable containers a plus, although very small, for some of the products it works really great. If you want to test out several items at once without paying full price, The Kama Sutra Weekender Kit is a great option.

I did not experience any skin irritations. However, I did not have a very easy time finding what ingredients are included in the kit. The items do not come with a list of ingredients for each item, as I would imagine they come with the larger items. They are not available on the website, so if you are someone who often has irritation to your skin when not knowing what a product is made of you may want to do more research, or skip this product all together.

You can purchase The Weekender Kit at The Adult Toy Shoppe for less than $30. All of their products are shipped in unmarked packages for discretion.

Verdict: 4.5 out of 5

UPDATED! Review: Hypnotic Dreams Audio Stories

UPDATE: One of the audio stories referenced below and linked to was incorrectly titled. I've changed the title and the links to represent the correct audio story that was reviewed and have indicated these changes in bold.

I’ll be doing reviews more often and posting them on this space. Last week I wrote about the AntiBacterial Foaming Toy Cleanser. Today I have a special treat for you, a review of Hypnotic Dreams: Erotic Hypnosis Audio Stories.

When I was approached to review the Hypnotic Dreams audio stories I knew it would require some time to listen and absorb the content long enough to write a strong and honest review. I’ve listened to four of the several audio stories they offer about three times each.

Unlike other items I review, this one was a challenge. It used my senses in a way other items have not required. I immediately saw how this provided another layer and source of pleasure for people with different abilities. Often many items are created for able-bodied people, rarely considering how people with different abilities may interact and enjoy the item. However, Hypnotic Dreams has created a product that can be utilized by people with various needs and seeking a somewhat “untraditional” experience.

I also saw this as having a value for folks who are in treatment or working with a health care provider for various topics that may come up in their sexual and reproductive health. Some of the audio stories I listened to may be useful for people who are attempting to overcome some level of trauma connected to their sexual health and/or experiencing pleasure. This feature is unique as not all “toys” or items for sexual pleasure can be utilized in such a way. Often such “toys” may be for people who are more advanced in their treatment and/or healing, whereas these recordings and exercises are for folks who are at various levels in their healing.

The creator of Hypnotic Dreams has an interesting background in engineering, storytelling, literature, and mythology. He has advanced degrees and is well known in the community of practice he currently works in as a professional. He is open about his reasons for maintaining anonymity; to have those people who reference and support his to not “discount the value of that work just because I also produce erotica.” This speaks volumes about where our society is with regards to respecting and seeing sexual science and the various forms of work within the field as valuable and important. It’s a struggle I understand very well, there is a level of risk you must take and assess in putting your name and image to sexuality and erotic centered work/media/production.

The use of hypnosis and audio stories of scenarios and narratives are not completely new. I recall obtaining a bag of demonstration items that included several cassette tapes that had scenarios of various encounters with different narrators. I’ll admit that when I found these items I got a chuckle, especially because the images that accompanied the cover of the cassette tapes were very decade-specific. However, Hypnotic Dreams are more modern and advanced. There is science and theoretical thought that supports and is utilized to create these audio stories and that may be why they are so effective.

When I was able to begin my review I was provided with access to the website in similar ways to how you would when you pay to download the tracks. If you are familiar with MP3 players or iPods of any form and have purchased music online the downloading process will be easy to navigate. If you are not, there are instructions on what to expect and look for, you will be downloading the audio stories to your hard drive and able to open them on the program of your choice (I have iTunes, so it opened there, but if you have Windows Media Player or something else it may work there too). I also do not use a PC, instead I have a Apple computer and did not have any challenges accessing the media onto my iPod.

If you are using iTunes the audio stories will download as “recently added.” From there you’ll want to make sure that you categorize your audio stories so that they either do not show up when you shuffle your music (similar to books on tape), and that they appear where you can easily find them. I didn’t do this when I first downloaded the tracks, so I speak from experience.

The four tracks I listened to and will discuss include:

Hypnotically Seduced (31:53 minutes)

The Pleasure Principle (25:00 minutes) UPDATED (this audio story was only partially referenced and listened to, the review focuses on the audio story Obedient Desires)

Obedient Desire (27:30 minutes) UPDATED

Enthralling Rhythms (23:00 minutes)

Introducing Erotic Hypnosis (25:52 minutes)

As I’ve indicated each audio story is over 20 minutes in length with Hypnotically Seduced being the longest of the four. I listened first to Introducing Erotic Hypnosis because I thought it would be a good introduction to this form of media and play. The audio story does exactly what the title says: provides an introduction to the listener of what erotic hypnosis can be and become. This was a good place for me to start so that I could gradually move through all four audio stories.

A soothing and masculine voice welcomes a new client (you) to the session and begins by sharing a few suggestions to relax. A focus on breathing is for the first several minutes. I really appreciated this guided meditation as sometimes it’s difficult for us to know what breathing and beginning to relax is all about. These are useful tools to use in various situations, not just in erotic experiences.

Hypnotically Seduced begins with helping you visualize how we are in tune with our bodies and “let our mind wander.” It begins with helping us imagine the last time we prepared for a special event, which allows us to suspend some level of consciousness, and focus that we can move through the scenario. This specific scenario is a date/engagement with a man who is a great storyteller with a fantastic voice. The recording then flows into a conversation with this gentleman.

UPDATED (this description was incorrectly applied to an audio story called The Pleasure Principle. The correct audio story is Obedient Desire. The Pleasure Principle is a different audio story that centers on a less intense power play scenario. I only listened to a portion of The Pleasure Principle, and of that portion I would provide a trigger warning for people healing from certain types of trauma.)

Obedient Desire has a power play scenario. I think this may be the only audio story I listened to where I would offer a trigger warning. If you are new to power play scenarios, this one may trigger some experiences you may have with violence and/or domination/non-consensual encounters. As a result, you may want to avoid this if you are still healing or not wanting to be exposed to such scenarios.

The scenario in Obedient Desire is to train the listener to become more obedient and gain pleasure in pleasing her partner and doing what he asks of her. We follow a young woman for an extended period of time beginning in high school. We listen as she finds pleasure in becoming the most reliable person on a team and emerges into the most disciplined person, which brings her to the attention of a man she is attracted to. Her new interest is attracted to her discipline and they create a relationship that pleases them both through her ability to do as he says.

Enthralling Rhythms is the only audio story that I listened to that is narrated by a woman for a man-identified listener. The scenario is an experience with a lap dancer who helps her client (you) become hypnotized by the dancer and her desire to help you experience pleasure. This was an interesting audio story to listen to from a different perspective. I was able to imagine myself as the lap dancer speaking to a partner of my choice. It was in this audio story that I connected more with the narrator and was able to image a larger range of possibilities. This was an unexpected surprise.

There were times that it was a bit difficult or challenging for me to get “into” some of the scenarios because I was so focused on the diction, phrasing, and flow of some of the narration. The Hypnotic Dreams website says that these “[a]udio stories are told with sophisticated NLP language patterns that induce hypnotic trance. This brings the listener into the story, enabling you to see, hear and feel everything described as if it is happening to you.” There is a glossary and FAQ on their site and under glossary they define NLP as “Neurolinguistic programming. A collection of methods for constructing words and sentences to bypass conscious filters and influence subconscious thought processes.”

When I first listened, I could tell immediately when some words were being emphasized and also how there was a flow to many of the scenarios. But it is this flow, diction and tone that make the recordings useful and effective. This is how the hypnotic and trance-like experience associated with the erotic stories works. Many people will have different responses to these recordings, which I find interesting. I’d like to hear how some of my friends and partners would react differently to the audio stories; did we have a similar experience? What did we enjoy? Respond to more eagerly?

After listening a few more times, I did have a trance-like experience. For the second time I was aware of my wanting to fall asleep and I believe I did as I could not remember when the last audio story ended and the next one began. However, I think by the third time I listened I was able to suspend some of my original focus and allow myself to relax and be open to a new experience. Trying new things do sometimes make us nervous, and I’m sure there was probably some nervousness I experienced that was unconscious and that may have been why there was a bit of resistance. As the Hypnotic Dreams website suggests, if you want a more intense hypnotic or trans-like experience keep trying! I think my experience is a good example of how this is true.

I also think it's important to share that I am currently doing "energy work" with a good friend who is studying at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and through my energy work with her I believe I was more open more quickly to experiencing pleasure. As the BBSH website shares this work, "draws on scientific and metaphysical sources to bring together many aspects of human experience which describe and explain the healing process." In many ways, reviewing these audio stories was very timely for me.

Some areas I hope are in the “works” for Hypnotic Dreams are multi-language recordings. We all know not everyone speaks English as a first language (or at all), and offering recordings in Spanish, French and other (romance) languages seems like a natural next move to expand their market. Of course offering the recordings in languages that are outside a “romantic” categorization would be just as useful to expanding their catalog, we all know I just have a small bias towards Spanish. Sometimes things do just sound better in Spanish!

I’d also love to hear a multi-lingual recording. I believe that many of us think and live in more than one language, and including languages such as Spanglish and Patois or even some levels of slang would be another demographic to target. As of now, the audio stories are centered on English-speaking scenarios.

The recordings that I listened to were of a man speaking. I think it would be fabulous to maybe even switch this up, have a narrator who has an accent of some sort, or even women narrating scenarios centered on women (which I’m sure exist already, I just didn’t listen to them). These would be a bit more inclusive and challenge heterosexist ideas that women only want to hear a man, and that men would only want to hear women talk to them in these scenarios. And to be honest, I racialized the voice of the person on the recording as a racially White man, even though there were no images or reasons for me to do so. I interpreted and associated the voice as one connected to a White man. You may do the same thing or have a different connection. Either way, I’d have to say that it did impact my experience with the audio stories and my response to them may have been different if my imagination had racialized the voice as a person of Color.

Finally, although I did not share listening to these recordings with my partners, you may. That could add a new element of play and experience for both/all of you. Unlike other items I review (except for books), I kept this item to myself and had a different experience with myself and for that I’m very grateful.

Just in time for a Valentine’s Day, a gift for someone you love, or, more importantly yourself, I encourage you to check out the sample audio stories as each available story has a sample. Consider today taking a chance at a new form of pleasure. Audio stories may be purchased through the Hypnotic Dreams website using paypal or via Amazon.com.

Many thanks to the folks at Hypnotic Dreams for reaching out to me and offering me this new experience for myself and my partners.

Review: AntiBacterial Foaming Toy Cleaner

It’s been a while since I reviewed a toy and I’m excited at the opportunity to do so again! So, be on the lookout for reviews this year!

The first review of the year will be for something I think many of us using toys need: a toy cleaner. This is absolutely an essential item to have (Adult Toys has a good list of essential items as well). I’ve had several over the decades, and there are positives and negatives to each. I’ve learned what is good for me based on what I like and don’t like and how I choose to care for my toys. To be honest, if you invest in a toy you want to make sure it stays with you for as long as possible. If you enjoy your toy, you also want to make sure you care for it to extend its longevity.

The AntiBacterial Foaming Toy Cleaner is impressive. My first impression of the cleaner was that it was very light and accessible. What I mean by light is that the coloring of the cleaner was clear with no dyes, the packaging of the cleaner is not too busy, and the colors on the label were appealing and not too flashy. I have to admit that I enjoy cleaners that look professional like this, and yes I realize this is connected to my health/medical background, as this idea of “professional” appeal is a bit clinical.

Nonetheless, I was really impressed with the cleaner. I used it to clean various toys that have been sitting in storage and were a bit dusty to the toys I use on a regular basis and that are out in the open. The materials of the toys ranged from silicone, plastic to glass. It even worked on my Hitachi magic wand, which is crucial for me because that’s one of my favorite toys to date!

There are 5.5 fluid ounces and a cap that covers a push down button that emits the foam. This function is fabulous because you can leave it on a dresser or near a table and don’t even need to pick it up to get the toy cleaned. I enjoy one-button push items because sometimes your hands are sticky/dirty/etc. and why add to the mess when you just need to press the button? The fluid is unscented and dries fairly quickly once it’s on the toy and/or cloth used to clean.

As with all toy cleaners, even if using mild soap and water, remove the batteries of any toys that have them before cleaning. You can push the top button and make sure your cover the part of the item you wish to clean completely. It is recommended you put the cleaner directly onto the toy and not onto a towel or cloth first. You will wipe the cleaner off of the item with a moist/damp cloth. Depending on the level of cleanliness needed and how soiled the item is, you may have to repeat this a few times. I found that a washcloth was helpful for harder items to clean, such as those that may have attracted dust that solidified or that picked up a color of another item where the color had bled.

The ingredients may not work well for all folks with extremely sensitive skin, or those who have various forms of skin conditions. I have sensitive skin, but it is not extreme and I rarely have breakouts or rashes in general. Using this product for one month on a regular basis I did not see any difference in my skin, but that’s just me. I encourage you to check out all of the ingredients (listed below) and make the best decision for you regarding them. I appreciate the website Skin Deep to search such scientific terms and have linked to their ranking of these ingredients below for your review. I want to make it clear all of these ingredients have a low or moderate ranking via this website and they can all be found in various forms of cosmetics and lotions.

Ingredients:

Water (Aqua), Ammonium Lauryl Slufate, Cocomidopropyl Betaine, Cocamide DEA, Sodium Carboxymethyl Lauryl Glucoside, Sodium PCA, Propylparaben, Methylparaben, Diazolidinyl Urea, Citric Acid

Well worth the cost of (only!) $7.99, you may purchase the AntiBacterial Foaming Toy Cleaner at the Their Toys Cleaner section.

Thanks to the folks at Adult Toys for providing this item for review.

Recycle Your Sex Toys on Earth Day & Everyday (Reposted)

I'm re-posting this Earth Day post from 2009 that I wrote on this blog because it is still relevant and the links still work!

Today is Earth Day. It’s raining in NYC, which seems fitting. I’ve read lots, and lots and lots of posts about green sex toys that are currently available. Many of these toys are created by recycled material, have vegan ingredients, or are made of soy products. But, what about if your toy breaks, if you get a new one after ending a relationship, or if you just want to replace one that you are kind of tired of, what do you do with them? There are now options available for sex toy recycling! Below are some options:

1. Sex Toy Recycling.com provides this service. Not only do they recycle the toy for free, you also get a $5 voucher towards another sex toy at a store or at their upcoming online store for each toy you mail. I sent an email to see if they accept toys from outside the continental US, including US territories, as well as if the vouchers or upcoming online store will services those outside the US and haven’t gotten a response yet. I’m sure they will let me know when they can and I’ll update their response here. Read carefully their “How It Works” page, they ask you to wash your toy and mail it in a specific type of mailer. This means you will have to pay for shipping.

2. Recycle Your Sex Toy.com is a program by sex toy seller Dreamscapes. They offer a $10 gift card to their store and those of their affiliates (Vibrator Shopping.com) for every package you mail them. They will not think you are slick if you send 5 packages with 5 different toys to recycle. It kind of defeats the purpose, so instead, make sure you pay one amount and ship as many toys as you can at one time.

3. LoveHoney’s Rabbit Amnesty program is in the UK, where the law is to recycle all electronics, and vibrators fall under that law. To make this service more discrete, Love Honey launched their Rabbit Amnesty program in 2007. They want folks to bring their sex toy to the store for recycling, in exchange they will donate £1 to the World Land Trust, and they also offer 50% off a new rabbit vibrator. They have made an ad which is below and read more about what is actually done when they recycle your toy.

Bianca’s List of Best Sex Toys & Books for 2009

I did this last year (there’s no link because my computer crashed and I lost all those old posts) and provided some of the top toys of various texture, material, and price and I’m here to do it again! These toys I’ve actually USED and have reviewed 98% of them and the reviews are posted with links. Now, many of these are NSFW along with the links they go to so please keep that in mind.

I’ve selected toys that are not only ranging from the very affordable ($1) to the splurge worthy ($80), but also toys that can be useful for people with disabilities, latex allergies, and all sorts of interests and sexual orientations. Let’s begin with the least expensive toy to the most expensive and I’ve also linked to some books that maybe of interest (and great gifts) as well.

Elbow Grease Lube $1.

My last long-term partner was very well endowed, and I’ve admitted that I’m a size queen. When he hinted that he wanted to have some anal play I called up my homeboy R and asked him what was a good lube for “big dick butt sex” as I called it then. He suggested Elbow Grease and I’ve never looked back! I tried a small sample like this one for just $1 and then purchased larger containers as I saw fit. The lube lasts long (which is GREAT) and comes in numerous variations including a silicone one. Try these out for $1 and see which one, if any, works for you!


Bondage Tape $6.50

Sometimes getting into some role-play or experiencing pleasure in various ways, which for some people includes experiencing pain and/or being humiliated, the items used can be intimidating. One of the ways I’ve realized I can introduce such play to my partners are through this bondage tape. This tape works well without having to pull your pelitos off (unless that’s your fancy), but it’s also not very intimidating. My experience has been that introducing someone to something new with an item they come into contact with on a regular basis means they are sometimes a little more open to experiencing more. I’ve found that with this tape. The tape also comes in various colors (red, purple, pink, white, and black).

Suction Cup Plug $7

Suction cup anything usually makes my day. You see it’s not often you find a good toy that has a suction cup that can be put in numerous places for some action. That’s what you’ll get with this toy. Not only can you use this by itself (it’s kind of short with a few ridges so keep that in mid) but it’s main use is to be used with your favorite penetrative toy. The catch is that you have to have a toy that can be inserted into the suction cup. Not many toys come with this feature, so make sure before purchasing this that you check out the stash you have to make sure you can use this with the toy you have in mind. I also appreciate this toy because it can be used with/for people with some disabilities.

Prostate Pleaser $17

I can’t recall if this was on my last list or not, but if it wasn’t boy was I wrong! Sometimes there are toys that I’ve reviewed that I gave a low score to. Then I spend some more time with the toy and I realize that I should have given myself more time with the toy. This is one of those toys. I originally wrote my review of this toy and only gave it 3 stars. Today it’s one of my “go to” toys for certain activities. I’m impressed with the flexible material that very easily moves, the poppers are great, and the material can pick up various sensations when I use other things with this one. Originally created for men, I’ll admit that I don’t use this for its intended purpose but still have a fabulous time!


Inflatable Position Master $30

I’ve always wanted a toy like this, but more dense. When I realized I had nowhere to put such a toy I was too happy when I got this toy to review. Not only does this toy work with people with various disabilities, but it also can be hidden out of site, and work for non-sexual activities, such as having your legs elevated to help relieve back pain. The toy is inflated by the user and you can also deflate whenever you like. One of the aspects of the toy I did not appreciate was the velvet fabric which does not do well with stains, which is inevitable with any form of sexual expression. It also has handle on the side for gripping of either person, yet the velvet feel does supply some level of resistance and neither partner experiences a slipping off of the item.

Climax Silicone Wavy Shaft $31

I really do adore toys that come with different parts that are removable and can be used with other toys. That is exactly what this one does. There are two parts and one is the main part that can be used for penetration. The second part is a baby bullet that can be removed. It comes with it’s own batteries and you can use it with anything else. The sound isn’t as loud as others and the toy is waterproof! You can read my full review of the toy here.

Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraints $45

I met the creator and owner at a SAR in Arizona at the AASECT conference. He said the interview he did with SexHerald, the publication I write for, was the most extensive and thoughtfully crafted he’s done with industry folks. I then gave his sheets a try. He focuses on “relationship products” to enhance the relationships people have with one another. I’m a fan of the under the bed restraints specifically, but there are several other products to choose from that do not necessarily attach to sheets. They are a bit pricey, but if this is an activity you enjoy than these will be well worth the cost. They are sturdy and machine washable. What I most enjoy is that this product has been thoughtfully designed. You can always tell what the thoughtfully crafted toys are especially by how they work when you use them.
Spare Parts Joque Harness $89

My homegirl Laura suggested I give this toy a try and review. It is the Bentley of harnesses. As many of you know: I’m not a small girl. Finding a harness that is going to fit all my juicy goodness and not result in chafing of my thighs or legs is extremely difficult. When I got the Joque Harness to review I was immediately impressed. Not only does it come in 2 different sizes (of which I received the larger), but it also comes in various different colors. It is extremely thoughtfully designed, does not have chafing when I put it on, is machine-washable, and does not need adjusting after you get it to fit you properly. The only downfall of this toy is it’s price. But the price is very much worth all of what you get in this harness. It fits various sizes of dildos has a compartment for extra toys, rides low, and is just an amazing investment!

BOOKS!!!!
Here are several books that if I didn't read to review I would loved to have received as gifts. I'm sure you ahve someone in your life that may be the same way and so I hope you consider looking these up and getting them!



Queer Ricans: Cultures and Sexualities In The Diaspora ($20) by Larry La Fountain-Stokes came out in 2009 to amazing reviews. Mine is forthcoming and I'll post it when it is available. This is a book that I would place in the same company of Chela Sandoval's Methodology of the Oppressed and Frantz Fanon's Black Skin, White Mask. Not only is it groundbreaking in migration and Puerto Rican studies, but it is also interdisciplinary and puts into conversation theorists and scholars with communal activists and artists.

Sweat Tea: Black Gay Men Of The South ($35) by E. Patrick Johnson is also a very revolutionary text that centers the narratives and testimonios of Black gay men living in the southern US. This is something that has rarely been done, and although there is some controversy over Johnson, who is a performance art scholar, performing some of the narratives he collects, this text is nonetheless an amazing addition to what we know of Black men who are gay and living in the south. Read my full review here.



Iridescence: Sensuous Shades of Lesbian Erotica $15 is an edited text focusing on lesbians of Color. It is rare that I find a text that is edited and focuses on people of Color that I actually enjoy. Often erotica is pretty predictable. What I enjoy about this text is that the authors are people of Color and they express and explain their characters and all the complex aspects of their identity that are unique to people and women of Color. You can read my full review here.

In Case You Missed It

One of my homegirls sent this link to An Illustrated History of Sex Toys that I found very entertaining and useful.

Recycle Your Sex Toys on Earth Day & Everyday

Today is Earth Day. It’s raining in NYC, which seems fitting. I’ve read lots, and lots and lots of posts about green sex toys that are currently available. Many of these toys are created by recycled material, have vegan ingredients, or are made of soy products. But, what about if your toy breaks, if you get a new one after ending a relationship, or if you just want to replace one that you are kind of tired of, what do you do with them? There are now options available for sex toy recycling! Below are some options:

1. Sex Toy Recycling.com provides this service. Not only do they recycle the toy for free, you also get a $5 voucher towards another sex toy at a store or at their upcoming online store for each toy you mail. I sent an email to see if they accept toys from outside the continental US, including US territories, as well as if the vouchers or upcoming online store will services those outside the US and haven’t gotten a response yet. I’m sure they will let me know when they can and I’ll update their response here. Read carefully their “How It Works” page, they ask you to wash your toy and mail it in a specific type of mailer. This means you will have to pay for shipping.

2. Recycle Your Sex Toy.com is a program by sex toy seller Dreamscapes. They offer a $10 gift card to their store and those of their affiliates (Vibrator Shopping.com) for every package you mail them. They will not think you are slick if you send 5 packages with 5 different toys to recycle. It kind of defeats the purpose, so instead, make sure you pay one amount and ship as many toys as you can at one time.

3. LoveHoney’s Rabbit Amnesty program is in the UK, where the law is to recycle all electronics, and vibrators fall under that law. To make this service more discrete, Love Honey launched their Rabbit Amnesty program in 2007. They want folks to bring their sex toy to the store for recycling, in exchange they will donate £1 to the World Land Trust, and they also offer 50% off a new rabbit vibrator. They have made an ad which is below and read more about what is actually done when they recycle your toy.