The Origin of the phrase "Women of Color"

The Origin of the phrase "Women of Color" by Loretta Ross of Sistersong

Transformative Representations of Love

Cross posted from my Media Justice column

Many of my friends were surprised when they received Valentine’s Day cards from me. They thought I wouldn’t have contributed to a “made up” holiday centered on having us consume more than we need to and spend money. Yet, I find the idea of offering love to others on a specific day (even when we do this throughout the year), to be very satisfying. This year is no different. Instead of sharing media that I love and adore, I wanted to share media with you all that centers love. Love for our community, our social justice agenda, our creative spirits, and ourselves.

Each year I’ve sent cards to folks I always quote the same phrase in the cards. The quote was made by Ernesto “Che” Guevara and reads:

At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality... We must strive every day so that this love of living humanity will be transformed into actual deeds, into acts that serve as examples, as a moving force.

Guevara was an icon in my home that I grew up with, and to this day many of the images that I’ve seen of him are of him smiling, happy and content. I found this idea of “revolutionary love” to be something that shook me to my core, but that also made me make an important choice in my life: to work for change. I also decided to use this idea in the graduate work I was perusing. That’s when I found Chela Sandoval’s Pedagogy of the Oppressed (this book is hard for me to read and I’ve read it three times! It’s “high theory” but it’s also amazing!). In the text Sandoval, a Chican@ feminist scholar and theorist, talks also about revolutionary love. It was like my life and the work I wanted to do made sense and had purpose! She concludes her book with “Love as a social movement is enacted by revolutionary, mobile, and global coalitions of citizen-activists who are allied through the apparatus of emancipation” (p. 184).

These ideas are central to the person I am and have guided me to the work I’m producing and am a part of today. This year I’ve decided to add a new phrasing to my snail mailing for next week. Instead I am quoting a classic film, The Matrix (I can’t believe it’s been over a decade since the film was released!). If you have not seen this film, I encourage you to do so as soon as possible. Consider this Media Justice homework! Watch them in order because there are three parts, yes, a trilogy.

This year I’m quoting The Oracle from The Matrix. Many of the snail mail I’m sending has this quote from her:

No one can to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through.

Check out Gloria Foster, who is The Oracle (that’s right! A capital “T” in The) talking to Neohere. Sadly, Foster died while filming The Matrix Reloaded in 2001, a decade ago.

The first video I’d like to share with you all was brought to my attention by one of my homeboys who posted this video on Tumblr. His comment accompanying the video read:

“Asian youth anti-bullying pink-shirt flash-mob in a Vancouver shopping mall (viaangryasianman).” When I went to the video, titled Anti-Bullying Flashmob January 2011, I read the description that was uploaded with it which reads:

In honour of International Anti-Bullying Day, two schools came together to create a message about Acceptance and challenge others to use social media as a positive tool. Choreographed by Jheric Hizon, Directed by Anita Perel-Panar - A Star Studio Productions

Here’s the video:

Shortly after seeing the video, it was live all over social media and ColorLines even added it to their Celebrate Love series. The youth who are participating really do an amazing job of representing all of the powerful things we can do with media. They are all media makers as are the folks who are watching. Take a look at all the people who are recording with their cell phones alone! All of the perspectives we see, from an aerial view, to audience reactions, to folks performing in the center of the mall; all of them represent the multiple people who are recording and consuming this media.

I’ve written about how I see dancing as a form of media making, and what I love especially about this video is the inter-generational inclusion. You see folks from all ages as participants and dancers, but also the folks who are watching and enjoying themselves. Media does not always have to be something we critique, it is something that can give our lives meaning and make us feel affirmed.

Along the same lines of anti-bullying is a new single by R&B performer Marsha Ambrosius who was one half of the R&B duo Floetry. Her video centers on highlighting same gender relationships within the Black community. I wrote a piece about this video earlier this year and how we can use it as a form of media to begin discussion. Check the video out below:

Another film that I came across was created by my homegirls Mia and Stacey. I’ve mentioned them often as they work to build a home together as queer disabled Corean women living in the US. Here we get an update from Mia and Stacey, learn about their experiences, and hear a bit more about what help they need to build the home they need to live sustainable lives together:

Asking for a Lift ...From the Bathroom TOSD from Mia Mingus on Vimeo.

One of my favorite parts about this video is their honesty and discussion of love. Stacey shares:

“The exciting thing is we’ve been having a lot of community support out here, and so different people have been coming everyday to help me do attendant work getting me out of the bed in the morning. And it’s really cool because it feels like for the first time access isn’t an individual thing I have to figure out by myself, but something that community is really committed to making happen, so I can be included.”

This speaks volumes to me about how important community is, especially community that is supportive and centers on inclusively. Stacey sharing how she has been able to experience access and not from an isolated and individual space, is testimony that love comes in various forms and can be collective. She also is hilarious when she says right before the video ends that “if we don’t look cute, we can’t post this.” I adore them! If you can help them please do, even if it means sharing this video with your communities!

This February, I’m going to trust my instinct and enjoy the love that surrounds me. I choose to imagine a world where we are loved and we are reminded of that each day. In case you have not been reminded yet: you are loved!

Share some of the media that is inspiring you or that is centered on love!

Support The Black Girl Project

I am on the board for an amazing organization: The Black Girl Project. I've written about the fabulous work and national screenings of this film and of the educational work we are doing as an organization. We are in need of funds and have started a virtual fundraising opportunity for folks to contribute and help us because more Black girls need to share their stories and we need more dialogue in our communities! And YES this includes ALL ethnic backgrounds!

Below is the trailer for the video as well as a formal letter we have drafted. If you would please send this letter to folks in your network, every little bit helps!

Formal Letter (Please send to the folks you think would be interested in supporting The Black Girl Project!)

Dear XXX,

I hope this message meets you in good spirits! I'm excited about an organization called The Black Girl Project, which is the educational outreach arm for the film of the same name. It's a wonderful organization dedicated to empowering young girls. You can check us out at www.BlackGirlProject.org.

The film has screened successfully at universities and organizations nationally, but there is a need for more materials in order to support their mission. The filmmaker, Aiesha Turman, has started a Kickstarter page to support the outreach portion of the film. In order to meet their funding goal of $8000 in March, 2011, they need your support. I am asking you to spread the message to friends and family to help us reach our goal. By making a pledge to The Black Girl Project, you'll be helping them do more vital work. Go to Kickstarter to learn more, there's less than 45 days to go!

Please pass along, every pledge counts! Many thanks for reading.

With warm regards,

XXX

Using Social Media To Find and Donate Breast Milk

cross posted from my RH Reality Check Blog

I talk a lot about breast milk, more than I ever thought I would, in the HIV work I do around NYC. Young people of all ages have a lot of questions about drinking and touching breast milk, and now with new technology in the US, women who are living HIV positive can give birth to negative babies, their questions continue. I remember my first NYC college class a student asked about accidentally drinking breast milk that was in the refrigerator and the risk of HIV transmission. There is still a lot of interest and curiosity around breast milk, and not just among pregnant and parenting people.

Often folks I meet and work with think of breast milk and associate it with pregnant and parenting women. When I read an NPR story last week by Nancy Shute, “Moms Who Can’t Nurse Find Milk Donors Online,” (audio and transcript available) I was really interested in a use of breast milk in a way I’ve never been before.

Before even reading I thought about class and access. I also thought about my pregnant sister-in-law and how I’ve been talking to her and my sister about birthing centers, mom and the “other mother” (as my sister says) journals, and baby showers. I had asked my sister if her wife had planned on breastfeeding and I remembered her response was “she wants to as long as it doesn’t hurt so much.”

The article by Shute is about women who have built a community of support in finding and sharing breast milk with one another, often for free, or in exchange for small donations or as mentioned in the article, bottles. One of the communities built, and that continues to flourish, is Eats on Feets GLOBAL (EOF) which is on Facebook. Many of the current members have found chapters or founded chapters via Facebook. I would think that Twitter is not far behind, especially for pregnant and parenting people who are wired. After all, there are so many of my friends who have had children who posted images via their cell phones hours after giving birth!

Eats on Feets GLOBAL shares in their About Us section:

Eats On Feets GLOBAL is a network that facilitates local woman-to-woman milk sharing via regional chapter pages on facebook. We assert that women are capable of making informed choices and of sharing human milk with one another in a safe and ethical manner. Eats On Feets GLOBAL does NOT sponsor the selling or corporatism of human breast milk.

Eats On Feets Global was created by a worldwide network of women coming together for a common cause; Feeding babies human breast milk. Spearheaded by activist Emma Kwasnica and inspired by the local action of Shell Walker LM, Eats On Feets is quickly becoming another example of the creative functions available through social networking.

Eats On Feets does NOT: diagnose, delineate, dictate, direct, determine, debate, debit, deal, deputy, deliver, deposit, or otherwise participate in the dogmatic control or outcomes of human breast milk sharing.

Eats On Feets DOES: Provide an online space where families who want human breast milk for their babies can find women who have breast milk to share. We encourage milk-sharers to utilize the principles of Informed Choice when establishing milk-sharing relationships.

I was fascinated and excited about this movement as it speaks to so many communities that are built all over the world. However, with such communities centered on sharing, building, and nurturing in a collective way, there are critiques. Many of the critiques are in the over 140 comments that accompany the article. There are concerns about safety, health, transmission of various diseases, and communication. As EOF shares above, and I completely understand these concerns and they are real and should not be ignored. At the same time I see connections to how the women and people (because not everyone who is pregnant identifies as a woman) who participate in these communities gain so much more than breast milk and nutrition for their child(ren).

Among those who critique EOF are the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). Shute’s article quotes Lori Feldman-Winter, spokeswoman for AAP as saying “We cannot recommend the sharing of breast milk over the Internet” and encourages people to use one of 11 breast-milk banks in the US. Eleven breast-milk banks in comparison to the 110 EOF local chapters available for people in need. Plus, EOF does not charge in the same way breast-milk banks do. Seems to me that there could be collaboration, but, to the surprise of no one, the resources does not allow for such merging, especially when financial profit is not attached to the union.

There are two events I’m thinking about that connect to this NPR story: Salma Hayek’s breastfeeding while in Sierra Leone in 2009, and programs supporting new parents to breastfeed, especially young parents. These two events have been on my mind for a while, and I think they are most definitely connected to this story and community building.

When Mexican-born actress, activist and media maker Hayek traveled to Sierra Leone in 2009 and breast-fed a baby, I remember how people in the media interpreted this story. Hayek was questioned as to why she gave a hungry baby her breast milk, as if breast milk should only be shared among a birth parent and their baby. Hayek is a breastfeeding activist and breast-fed the baby boy to help alleviate the stigma in the country around having sex with a woman who is still breastfeeding.

On an ABC news story by Kimberly Kaplan, they quote Hayek as sharing:

She told "Nightline" co-anchor Cynthia McFadden that she thought her daughter wouldn't mind sharing her milk. "Am I being disloyal to my child by giving her milk away?" Hayek said. "I actually think my baby would be very proud to share her milk. And when she grows up I'm going to make sure she continues to be a generous, caring person."

Hayek told McFadden that that the idea of helping a child in this way had a long tradition in her family. She related a story about her great-grandmother many years ago in Mexico saving the starving baby of a stranger by breastfeeding the child.

I remember some of my own community repulsed by Hayek’s actions and sharing these openly on social media outlets. The irony in all of this, that historically, this nation was built on breastfeeding other children’s babies and never once was that a concern. It was more an expectation that enslaved women who were lactating would provide for whomever needed feeding, most especially their master and mistress’ children. Wet nurses have often been attached to class status, and breastfeeding and access to breast milk remains an issue of access and class.

So maybe the concern is an issue because the sharing of breast milk is among “our” (read US-born) children and not those who are living outside the continental US. Many may assume that because a wealthy and well-known woman shared her breast milk that she is also free of communicable diseases, drug and smoke free, and all the other illnesses of concern. Or perhaps it’s that we just don’t really care as much what happens to that African baby? Either way it seems to me that this “modern society” of the US we like to think we find ourselves in, has found a way to ignore, debunk, vilify and, erase community building and sharing of resources that has occurred for centuries all over the world. This nation also does a great job of erasing the legacy of sharing breast milk that has sustained many families for generations.

My second thought was tied to encouraging young parents to breastfeed. I have shared before that I’m unapologetic about being one of those folks who watches 16 & Pregnant as well as Teen Mom. Rarely have I seen an episode where a young parent is encouraged to breastfeed. There was one young parent, whose name I can’t remember, who was encouraged and provided with nursing bras, yet the support did not go beyond that. I’ve also never seen an episode where the young parents are in a birthing center or seeking care through a midwife or doula, but that’s another issue for another time.

When I was working with young parents in the foster care system while at the Child Welfare League of America, I remember one of the main concerns for the parenting teens was their feelings of sexual arousal during breastfeeding. For those of you who are familiar with oxytocin and its connection to uterine contractions during delivery, milk release during breastfeeding, and uterine contractions during human sexual response, this is not new to you. However, for many young parents this experience, or acknowledgement that this may occur, was often one deterrent for them I heard often. I remain wondering why there are limited discussions with young parents about this, and even with older and seasoned breast feeders.

As my work has moved me in a different direction from where I was over a decade ago working with young parents, my conversations around breast milk have shifted. Nonetheless, breast milk has remained a topic of discussion for me, just in different contexts. Now, as I will be my niece or nephew’s only (read best and greatest) aunt by the end of the summer, breast milk and it’s access is becoming more important to me.

I always find it interesting when our life’s work and experiences leads us down paths and information we rarely thought we would go into. Often I’m cautious of using Facebook and (sometimes) Twitter to share some forms of content, but I have to admit that being in another state four hours away from my growing family, it has helped me stay connected to them. The pride I feel when I see sonogram posts of my sister and her wife’s baby on Facebook is indescribable. For that, I’m grateful for social media and yes, modernization to an extent.

Gaga Fans: Please Explain

cross posted from my Media Justice column

I’m pretty honest about not being into or know too much about certain types of media or issues and events that arise. Lady Gaga is one of those phenomenons I’m just not well versed on and have limited desire to be. With that said, I don’t follow her career, nor do I keep up on what she does or wears. This doesn’t mean I’m completely ignorant of what she produces and some of her songs; I have friends that are total stans!

Part of my lack of interest in her stems from recognizing some of the cultural appropriation she participates in. Most apparent to me was he use of costumes, which I’ve seen and grew up with by various performers, such as Celia Cruz and La Lupe (yeah she’s before Madonna, Cher, and Cyndi Lauper). It’s one thing to be inspired by an entertainer, it’s another thing to completely use and claim as one’s own aspects of their identity and performance art.

When I heard that Lady Gaga had leaked the lyrics to a new song “Born This Way” I wasn’t really giving it any thought. Then I read an article by Miguel Perez that discussed why some Latinos are turned off by some lyrics in this song and have connected them to racism. To be honest again, last time I really listened to or cared about something Lady Gaga did, it was when she did NOT cancel her concert in Arizona. I watched part of a video a fan uploaded about her commentary regarding SB1070 and wasn’t really impressed.

So, the history of Lady Gaga not having too many politically/socially conscious and happy Latino fans was nothing new to me. What was new to me was her use of some forms of language, so I read Perez’s article to see what was used. A full list of the lyrics to her songwas provided by the website Pop Eater where you can see all of them and some snippets of her performing a bit of the chorus.

When I read the lyrics Perez discusses in his article, I found more issues with some of her lyrics in the rest of the song, including the part discussed. Below are the lyrics in question, I didn’t add any emphasis nor do I know how or if she capitalized any of the terms (as I would have), so I wrote them as I saw them listed:

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you’re broke or evergreen
You’re black, white, beige, chola descent
You’re Lebanese, you’re orient
Whether life’s disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
‘Cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I’m on the right track baby
I was born to survive
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or oriental made
I’m on the right track baby
I was born to be brave

Now, I have three issues with three terms she has used in this song: “Chola [descent],” “Orient/al,” and “transgendered.” Perez’s article only discusses the (mis)use of the first term “Chola” which, over the past 2 generations in the US, has been associated primarily with Mexican, Mexican-American, Chican@ and Xican@ women. As with many Spanish language terms, they are gendered. The term “Chola” is referring to a woman as it ends with an “a;” if it were to end with an “o” it would be masculine.

As someone who is not of Mexican descent, I was not raised with a familiarity of this term, however, when I began to read Gloria Anzaldúa, specifically Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza, I was introduced to different languages. Among the various languages that have been derived from Spanish and English is Caló and Pachuco. From my understanding Pachuco was the language created by people of Mexican descent in the 30s and 40s (maybe even earlier as language is constantly evolving) and as Anzaldua writes in her fifth chapter “How To Tame A Wild Tongue”: “From kids and people my own age I picked up Pachuco.Pachuco (the language of the zoot suiters) is a language of rebellion, both against Standard Spanish and Standard English. It is a secret language. Adults of the culture and outsiders cannot understand it. It is made up of slang words from both English and Spanish” (p. 78).

Caló, many folks agree, emerged from the Pachuco language and is still used among youth and communities in attempts to have their own language that keeps outsiders out. It is through these languages that we have come to understand and recognize the term “Chola” which was embraced by many in social justice movements in the US (if you are unfamiliar with the Brown Berets I encourage you to read up on them and their contributions to the Civil Rights Movement). Today, it seems there is a different use and understanding of the term. As many folks may understand, the terms when used in-group as they were created by members of the community, they mean and represent something very different in comparison to what meaning outsiders using the term may associate.

As a result, we have some disagreement and even allegations of racism (which I think are more connected to White supremacy and Lady Gaga’s use of it in this song to her advantage than a hatred or dislike for a group of people), when outsiders, as Lady Gaga is, in using this term. I’m not surprised that Perez, who identifies as Mexican American, finds this use of the term inappropriate and oppressive. I’m also not surprised other commentators who identify as Latino do not share Perez’s perspective. After all not all Latinos are of Mexican descent. Nor are all Latinos speaking the same language.

Another aspect that was not addressed in Perez’s article that I believe to be important to this discussion is her misuse of the term “Orient” and “Oriental” as a proper noun. Now, call me old school, but I thought that these terms were only used when talking about rugs and noodles, never in talking about people. So why are so many folks choosing to focus just on the term “Chola” when this term is just as offensive and has a long history of vilifying people from various Asian backgrounds?

Finally, her use of the term “transgendered” and associated that with “life” is just wrong, grammatically and in general. We do not say “womened” or “maned” to describe someone’s gender identity, so why are we doing that for transgender? It’s wrong folks, please know this and spread the word! Now, when we attach a community to a word like “life” or “lifestyle” that’s a whole lot more ish to deconstruct. I’ll look to GLAAD's (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) Media Reference Guide suggestions to help clarify why using terms such as “life” and “lifestyle” are incorrect and what alternatives are offered:

Offensive: "gay lifestyle" or "homosexual lifestyle" Preferred: "gay lives," "gay and lesbian lives" There is no single lesbian, gay or bisexual lifestyle. Lesbians, gay men and bisexuals are diverse in the ways they lead their lives. The phrase "gay lifestyle" is used to denigrate lesbians and gay men, suggesting that their orientation is a choice and therefore can and should be "cured

Although this description speaks specifically to LGB communities, I think we can also apply it to trans people as well. Claiming that there is a “transgender lifestyle” is wrong. The lives of transgender people are often always already ignored and not valued. As a result, I can see how some folks may argue that Lady Gaga even mentioning trans people (even if grammatically incorrect) is a step in the right direction. However, these are not the types of steps we need! What does it mean to us that we appreciate less than exceptional forms of media simply because we see ourselves somewhat represented? Our standards and expectations must be higher. I think for many of us here at Amplify this is why we do the work we do.

It seems fitting that I end with some of Anzaldúa’s thoughts about language:

“..for a language to remain alive it must be used….So if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity—I am my language. Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself. Until I can accept as legitimate Chicano Texas Spanish, Tex-Mex, and all the other languages I speak, I cannot accept the legitimacy myself. Until I am free to write bilingually and to switch codes without having always to translate, while I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanglish, and as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers rather than having them accommodate me my tongue will be illegitimate.

I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing. I will have my voice: India, Spanish, white. I will have my serpent’s tongue-my woman’s voice, my sexual voice, my poet’s voice. I will overcome the tradition of silence” (p. 81).

UPDATED! Review: Hypnotic Dreams Audio Stories

UPDATE: One of the audio stories referenced below and linked to was incorrectly titled. I've changed the title and the links to represent the correct audio story that was reviewed and have indicated these changes in bold.

I’ll be doing reviews more often and posting them on this space. Last week I wrote about the AntiBacterial Foaming Toy Cleanser. Today I have a special treat for you, a review of Hypnotic Dreams: Erotic Hypnosis Audio Stories.

When I was approached to review the Hypnotic Dreams audio stories I knew it would require some time to listen and absorb the content long enough to write a strong and honest review. I’ve listened to four of the several audio stories they offer about three times each.

Unlike other items I review, this one was a challenge. It used my senses in a way other items have not required. I immediately saw how this provided another layer and source of pleasure for people with different abilities. Often many items are created for able-bodied people, rarely considering how people with different abilities may interact and enjoy the item. However, Hypnotic Dreams has created a product that can be utilized by people with various needs and seeking a somewhat “untraditional” experience.

I also saw this as having a value for folks who are in treatment or working with a health care provider for various topics that may come up in their sexual and reproductive health. Some of the audio stories I listened to may be useful for people who are attempting to overcome some level of trauma connected to their sexual health and/or experiencing pleasure. This feature is unique as not all “toys” or items for sexual pleasure can be utilized in such a way. Often such “toys” may be for people who are more advanced in their treatment and/or healing, whereas these recordings and exercises are for folks who are at various levels in their healing.

The creator of Hypnotic Dreams has an interesting background in engineering, storytelling, literature, and mythology. He has advanced degrees and is well known in the community of practice he currently works in as a professional. He is open about his reasons for maintaining anonymity; to have those people who reference and support his to not “discount the value of that work just because I also produce erotica.” This speaks volumes about where our society is with regards to respecting and seeing sexual science and the various forms of work within the field as valuable and important. It’s a struggle I understand very well, there is a level of risk you must take and assess in putting your name and image to sexuality and erotic centered work/media/production.

The use of hypnosis and audio stories of scenarios and narratives are not completely new. I recall obtaining a bag of demonstration items that included several cassette tapes that had scenarios of various encounters with different narrators. I’ll admit that when I found these items I got a chuckle, especially because the images that accompanied the cover of the cassette tapes were very decade-specific. However, Hypnotic Dreams are more modern and advanced. There is science and theoretical thought that supports and is utilized to create these audio stories and that may be why they are so effective.

When I was able to begin my review I was provided with access to the website in similar ways to how you would when you pay to download the tracks. If you are familiar with MP3 players or iPods of any form and have purchased music online the downloading process will be easy to navigate. If you are not, there are instructions on what to expect and look for, you will be downloading the audio stories to your hard drive and able to open them on the program of your choice (I have iTunes, so it opened there, but if you have Windows Media Player or something else it may work there too). I also do not use a PC, instead I have a Apple computer and did not have any challenges accessing the media onto my iPod.

If you are using iTunes the audio stories will download as “recently added.” From there you’ll want to make sure that you categorize your audio stories so that they either do not show up when you shuffle your music (similar to books on tape), and that they appear where you can easily find them. I didn’t do this when I first downloaded the tracks, so I speak from experience.

The four tracks I listened to and will discuss include:

Hypnotically Seduced (31:53 minutes)

The Pleasure Principle (25:00 minutes) UPDATED (this audio story was only partially referenced and listened to, the review focuses on the audio story Obedient Desires)

Obedient Desire (27:30 minutes) UPDATED

Enthralling Rhythms (23:00 minutes)

Introducing Erotic Hypnosis (25:52 minutes)

As I’ve indicated each audio story is over 20 minutes in length with Hypnotically Seduced being the longest of the four. I listened first to Introducing Erotic Hypnosis because I thought it would be a good introduction to this form of media and play. The audio story does exactly what the title says: provides an introduction to the listener of what erotic hypnosis can be and become. This was a good place for me to start so that I could gradually move through all four audio stories.

A soothing and masculine voice welcomes a new client (you) to the session and begins by sharing a few suggestions to relax. A focus on breathing is for the first several minutes. I really appreciated this guided meditation as sometimes it’s difficult for us to know what breathing and beginning to relax is all about. These are useful tools to use in various situations, not just in erotic experiences.

Hypnotically Seduced begins with helping you visualize how we are in tune with our bodies and “let our mind wander.” It begins with helping us imagine the last time we prepared for a special event, which allows us to suspend some level of consciousness, and focus that we can move through the scenario. This specific scenario is a date/engagement with a man who is a great storyteller with a fantastic voice. The recording then flows into a conversation with this gentleman.

UPDATED (this description was incorrectly applied to an audio story called The Pleasure Principle. The correct audio story is Obedient Desire. The Pleasure Principle is a different audio story that centers on a less intense power play scenario. I only listened to a portion of The Pleasure Principle, and of that portion I would provide a trigger warning for people healing from certain types of trauma.)

Obedient Desire has a power play scenario. I think this may be the only audio story I listened to where I would offer a trigger warning. If you are new to power play scenarios, this one may trigger some experiences you may have with violence and/or domination/non-consensual encounters. As a result, you may want to avoid this if you are still healing or not wanting to be exposed to such scenarios.

The scenario in Obedient Desire is to train the listener to become more obedient and gain pleasure in pleasing her partner and doing what he asks of her. We follow a young woman for an extended period of time beginning in high school. We listen as she finds pleasure in becoming the most reliable person on a team and emerges into the most disciplined person, which brings her to the attention of a man she is attracted to. Her new interest is attracted to her discipline and they create a relationship that pleases them both through her ability to do as he says.

Enthralling Rhythms is the only audio story that I listened to that is narrated by a woman for a man-identified listener. The scenario is an experience with a lap dancer who helps her client (you) become hypnotized by the dancer and her desire to help you experience pleasure. This was an interesting audio story to listen to from a different perspective. I was able to imagine myself as the lap dancer speaking to a partner of my choice. It was in this audio story that I connected more with the narrator and was able to image a larger range of possibilities. This was an unexpected surprise.

There were times that it was a bit difficult or challenging for me to get “into” some of the scenarios because I was so focused on the diction, phrasing, and flow of some of the narration. The Hypnotic Dreams website says that these “[a]udio stories are told with sophisticated NLP language patterns that induce hypnotic trance. This brings the listener into the story, enabling you to see, hear and feel everything described as if it is happening to you.” There is a glossary and FAQ on their site and under glossary they define NLP as “Neurolinguistic programming. A collection of methods for constructing words and sentences to bypass conscious filters and influence subconscious thought processes.”

When I first listened, I could tell immediately when some words were being emphasized and also how there was a flow to many of the scenarios. But it is this flow, diction and tone that make the recordings useful and effective. This is how the hypnotic and trance-like experience associated with the erotic stories works. Many people will have different responses to these recordings, which I find interesting. I’d like to hear how some of my friends and partners would react differently to the audio stories; did we have a similar experience? What did we enjoy? Respond to more eagerly?

After listening a few more times, I did have a trance-like experience. For the second time I was aware of my wanting to fall asleep and I believe I did as I could not remember when the last audio story ended and the next one began. However, I think by the third time I listened I was able to suspend some of my original focus and allow myself to relax and be open to a new experience. Trying new things do sometimes make us nervous, and I’m sure there was probably some nervousness I experienced that was unconscious and that may have been why there was a bit of resistance. As the Hypnotic Dreams website suggests, if you want a more intense hypnotic or trans-like experience keep trying! I think my experience is a good example of how this is true.

I also think it's important to share that I am currently doing "energy work" with a good friend who is studying at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing and through my energy work with her I believe I was more open more quickly to experiencing pleasure. As the BBSH website shares this work, "draws on scientific and metaphysical sources to bring together many aspects of human experience which describe and explain the healing process." In many ways, reviewing these audio stories was very timely for me.

Some areas I hope are in the “works” for Hypnotic Dreams are multi-language recordings. We all know not everyone speaks English as a first language (or at all), and offering recordings in Spanish, French and other (romance) languages seems like a natural next move to expand their market. Of course offering the recordings in languages that are outside a “romantic” categorization would be just as useful to expanding their catalog, we all know I just have a small bias towards Spanish. Sometimes things do just sound better in Spanish!

I’d also love to hear a multi-lingual recording. I believe that many of us think and live in more than one language, and including languages such as Spanglish and Patois or even some levels of slang would be another demographic to target. As of now, the audio stories are centered on English-speaking scenarios.

The recordings that I listened to were of a man speaking. I think it would be fabulous to maybe even switch this up, have a narrator who has an accent of some sort, or even women narrating scenarios centered on women (which I’m sure exist already, I just didn’t listen to them). These would be a bit more inclusive and challenge heterosexist ideas that women only want to hear a man, and that men would only want to hear women talk to them in these scenarios. And to be honest, I racialized the voice of the person on the recording as a racially White man, even though there were no images or reasons for me to do so. I interpreted and associated the voice as one connected to a White man. You may do the same thing or have a different connection. Either way, I’d have to say that it did impact my experience with the audio stories and my response to them may have been different if my imagination had racialized the voice as a person of Color.

Finally, although I did not share listening to these recordings with my partners, you may. That could add a new element of play and experience for both/all of you. Unlike other items I review (except for books), I kept this item to myself and had a different experience with myself and for that I’m very grateful.

Just in time for a Valentine’s Day, a gift for someone you love, or, more importantly yourself, I encourage you to check out the sample audio stories as each available story has a sample. Consider today taking a chance at a new form of pleasure. Audio stories may be purchased through the Hypnotic Dreams website using paypal or via Amazon.com.

Many thanks to the folks at Hypnotic Dreams for reaching out to me and offering me this new experience for myself and my partners.