Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Lesson 24: Lessons Learned as a LatiNegra Sexologist


You belong everywhere you want to be.

Life Lesson:

This is a difficult lesson to remember. But that doesn't mean it isn't true when you begin to remember and recognize. At the end of each semester I usually tell this to my students. Especially if they are graduating or it is the end of the Spring semester. We belong where we want to be.

So yes, for me that is in a space where there are more people of Color in the sexology field. I knew I belonged in this field. I knew it at a very young age. I also knew how color-free the US sexology field is and remains. This didn't ever make me feel as though I could never be in the field. There was something that told me I belong here. When I realized it was my own desire, shine, confidence, knowledge, my own magic self, the universe, the dearth, the pleasure, and everything I don't have the language to explain right now.

I knew, and sometimes I forget, but this is an important one to remember. Just because we want to be somewhere doesn't mean it will be easy. Knowing I belong in the US sexology field is not easy. It's also not a well paying place to be either. Especially with the values and convictions I have and hold and share. Yet, I know this is where I belong because this is where I choose to be.

I'd never considered going to Burning Man. I mean sitting around with a bunch of white folks burning things in the desert never appealed to me. Actually it triggered me in so many ways! Yet, now that there are Black folks in my life who identify as Burners, who value that experience enough to save thousands of dollars a year, and now that I have a partner who is committed to having us be in that space for 2015, I have a desire to experience that, even if just once. And I know I will belong there, even if there are just a handful of Black burners. (get at me if you are one! or a POC Burner in general!)

When you realize you belong where you are, you shine brighter. Your awesome is harder to deny. Your brilliance is revealed even more to you and others. The pleasure you experience expands and transforms you. When you acknowledge where you want to be, even if it's a space you never imagined being, that is where the real living of life comes in for you, Bi. That's where you unlearn and learn so much. It's where you can produce knowledge, media, conversations, and build all that you want to build.

You belong here. You belong everywhere you want to be!

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