Sunday, October 12, 2014

Lesson 28: Lessons Learned as a LatiNegra Sexologist


There is something to learn in discomfort.

Life Lesson:

Especially if this discomfort comes while listening to a lecture, something that has challenged you. You realized this late in the game. Your initial response to the discomfort was to react in a way that was sometimes distracting to what the lesson could be for you. Sometimes you got so upset you had to remove yourself.

Those are lessons. There are some forms of discomfort that you must physically remove yourself from (if you are able to). There are others that bring an immediate reaction to that is negative. After all, being uncomfortable makes many of us not happy. It's not pleasant to experience, especially in a public space where others may see you. You learn about your boundaries, your triggers, and what you need to do to take care of yourself.

You may also learn about what you need to unlearn. What you've believed to be one singular truth, may not be challenged. And that you must sit with and process. If it is uncomfortable to hear of something that challenges a way you've been taught, it is ok to sit with that discomfort and figure out where the root of that discomfort stems from. Sometimes it's not because of the information given or who the messenger may be. Instead it is often about how you feel like you've been lied to, hoodwinked, sold something that was false.

It is also ok to share that you are uncomfortable. Claim what your body, mind, and spirit are sending you. Be transparent, as you may not be the only one. Speaking of your discomfort may also be healing for you or others.

You've had strong physical reactions to discomfort as well. Sometimes these are physically painful and you must remove yourself from the space. This is ok too. As your energy healer once asked you: "if the pain returns, what would you say to the pain?" Think about what you want that pain to know if it does return. What can you learn about that pain and how to ease from it and learn to. How may you choose to protect yourself from this pain in ways that still leave you open enough to build?

You will remind your students of this lesson too. That when they learn of structural, institutional, systemic forms of oppression they will experience discomfort. That warm feeling that embodies you and creeps through your entire being is real! Taking deep breaths will help bring some calm. It may also help you ask yourself "what am I reacting to? Why is this reaction so strong?" These are important questions.

Feelings of discomfort do not mean you have failed. It is something many of us experience. It means you are human. It represents a learning experience. Learn from the discomfort. Let it transform you in a healing way.

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