Latinx Heritage Month: #FemmeInMourning 1

It's the start of Latinx Heritage Month in the US. I'm reminded of the ways folks find me. How they found me and know me from decades ago online. And also what keeps me going and what I need right now as I find my way back to myself.

So here we are with me writing a little bit each day for 30 days for Latinx Heritage Month. The theme this year is grief and mourning because that's consumed me so much over the past 17 months since my mother died. It's when I began using #FemmeInMourning. Of course there will be a focus on the AFRX in my Latinx because it always already is present. 

I also need to get back into a practice of writing for myself and my productivity. I think I'll share what I've learned or experience with this grief. The roots of Latinx and AfrxCaribeñx folklore, myth, and ritual are deep in death and transformation. From Atabey to La Llorona to Cemis. 

For today's note I'll start where I already did this month. Yesterday I shared on social media the following: 

"If you think there's expected behavior when people are in shock or trauma quit it bc there isn't.That's the human experience.There's no map."

Folks really expect people who are in shock or experiencing trauma to behave in a certain way. You know exactly what I mean: crying, bewilderment, hysterics. Yes that happens for some and yes that happens eventually for others, but it may never happen for other people in a way you may ever witness. 

Why do we hold ourselves to such high standards when we are grieving. "Holding it together" when every one of us knows our bodies and minds do not have the capacity to hold that type of shock or trauma that is constant and all absorbing. Why set ourselves up to fail or feel inadequate? 

Suspend some of the expectations you have on how people may show their grief while mourning. Do it especially for yourself and your grieving process.