I haven't had health insurance for 95% of my adult life. When my mom died I had insurance but never went to the doctor because who has that kind of time when you work a 50 hour a week job? When I finally did 14 months later my doctor told me that grieving increases your blood sugar levels.
All the stress and increased cortisol levels means an increase in other ways too: insulin resistance, craving processed grub, and chronic stress which kills people. I did not eat well while mourning. Making meals felt like too much and I needed people to care for me. It's great those first few weeks/months with trauma and shock where everybody shows up for you. Yet, there comes a time when folks disappear and think it's been long enough you should be over things.
Those were times when I just ate whatever was available without real consideration. The grief was too much to make a better decision. And I was only impacting myself. Then as I found my way out of some of the deeper foggy thickness of grief I had vertigo.
And I had a yeast infection for the first time in my life! The doctor told me stress and high blood sugar helps maintain a yeast infection along with other ish that I didn't realize my body was experiencing. So, I had to unlearn all the ways I had taught my body to manage the grief and digest the grief. It took a while and it's still taking time, but it sure beats taking medicine as often as they wanted to prescribe me.
Coming back to my body was an important part of my grieving process, especially as part of the healing aspects of the grief. If you are grieving and it feels constant, drink lots of water. Just do it because it will help keep you hydrated if you cried like I did often. As much as processed foods are craved and affordable, try to mix in a few vegetables or something. Even as I write that I'm like "who the fuck are you to say that to people" but for real baby steps. I started with celery sticks and peanut butter, baby carrots, and when times were super rough I opted for the pizza vs the pancakes because pizza's not that rough on your blood sugar levels and kept yeast infections in check more than those pancakes with coconut flakes and maple syrup do.
Read part 5 here.
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