Latinx Heritage Month: #FemmeInMourning 9

In many communities there are rituals for death and dying. Much of these rituals center around mourning and preparing a body for whatever customary passage the dead are to follow. My mom donated her body to science and to the University of Puerto Rico. It was a small office, everyone had the same telephone and email address. The forms had not been updated in at least 60 years as they asked for information about our four grandparents! In short, it's rare people chose to donate their body like my mom did in Puerto Rico, but she had convinced a man at the hospice where she was at her last years to do the same. He told us this when we went to gather her items.

Wearing black was something I already do as someone in their 13th year living in NYC. It's also somewhat expected for mourning wear. I didn't have it in me to constantly wear black or really think about wearing anything other than what I already had on! Seriously, if ya'll saw the suitcase I packed to go to Puerto Rico when I was in shock you'd know I was in shock! I had polyester dresses and two more bad choices for 95 degree weather.

Anyway, I decided to use the way I adorn and decor my body to firmly demonstrate my mourning. I chose to have "mourning nails." For a year I began to get acrylic manicures with black nail polish only. When I moved to New Orleans, I found two Black women nail artists and the second one, Morgan, I have been with ever since. Thanks to Yvette and her niece who sent me her way. Check Morgan of M.A.D. Nails out!

I love supporting Black femmes making art on a regular basis. Each month I make it a priority to save money to pay for this wearable art. It's been an amazing experience because when folks see my nails I get to share they are my mourning nails. It was a nice subtle way to begin talking about my grief. Art was one way that allowed others to talk with me about death, coping, and hear stories of my grieving process.

My mourning nails were one of the best coping mechanisms I was able to do for myself. It costs money and I happily gave what I had for the services. I'm not sure how much longer I may be able to afford this practice that is helping me to find my way back to myself. It's really been an amazing way to remind myself of the beauty of my grief and the ways I'm surviving the best way I can right now and showing others the same thing!

Here are fotos of my mourning nails and my nails post-mourning, because I've continued them!

Read part 8 here.